"Simply Better..."

[Damian Bourne]

camera pans to Damian standing backstage facing the camera

 

Damian Bourne: There are consequences to everything. Take me for example. My parents hate me because I've become better than they could have ever imagined. My family, my friends, they all hate me. Because the consequence of knowing me is that I will make you look bad because 'cause I'm so good!

 

Damian begins to walk into the locker room grabbing his gear while the camera follows

 

Damian Bourne: You know, I was once like all of you out there. I was passionate, idealistic, hopeful. Then I turned 10 years old and realized how the world really operated. It didn't take long, and before I knew it, I was operating within the system's broken rules.

 

He heads to the parking lot while the cameraman would continue to follow him

 

Damian Bourne: Real question here - can we name the next pay-per-view after me? I mean, I plan on headlining it - and in fact, I'm out here to demand that. Are there other names on the roster that have been here longer and deserve it? Yes. But I'm the textbook, and they're all just footnotes. And y'all can keep shouting at your screen. I'm sure your jealous. Hell, look at yourselves. Look at how pathetic all of you are. And look at me. Simply better...

 

He would reach his car, throwing the gear into the trunk and giving one final look at the camera before driving off

 

Damian Bourne: Damn, it feels good to imagine you all pissed off at home. Haha the funny thing is, I remember when I was like you. Wishing I could be great. The difference? I actually became great. Ha ha ha.

 

Damian shut the car door, and as he drove off. The camera would fade to black

[Jacob Trance]

You need to work on sticking to one time-frame, ie; tense. You go from the usual way everyone writes. "Damian begins to walk into the locker room..." to "He would reach his car, throwing the gear into the trunk" both are fine, but you need to pick one or the other.

 

Also, what are we backstage at? Why are you at a show? Pan it out more, you could have been simply at a live event, and you're ditching it because you're too good to be there. That sort of thing would fit the "angry young arrogant man" gimmick you have.

[Benji Moore]

Great Promo, Keep it up. I am interested in how your stor continues.

[Damian Bourne]

Alright I'll work on it next promo, thanks for the feedback.