Super Private Medical Facility

[Jacob Trance]

The scene opened at the Lord Archer of Mercy Hospital in Brooklyn in one of the fanciest private rooms you’ll ever see. In the bed, wearing a full body cast and looking suspiciously high is Thomas Archer. All around him are various machines, including a ventilator that whilst beeping and working away are quite clearly not connected to Mr Archer.

 

Around him, are the assembled remnants of the United Archer Enterprises, Maxx Edwards and the Dreadnought of Drogheda, Colby McCallum.

 

Archer eventually begins to speak, sounding like he’s at death's door.

 

Archer: You all witnessed the violent and unprovoked attack unleashed upon me by The Stooge. The doctors say I’ll definitely walk again but what do they know? I’m determined to prove them wrong, to rise out of this bed and put others in my place. For now though…

 

Archer sighs, no one corrects his sentence.

 

Archer: I must give you all tasks, tasks that I am unable to do. Maxx, I give to you an important one. You see that there…

 

Archer points, the camera swivels to what looks like a volume control knob sat on a pristine plinth, cushioned by the softest of red velvet.

 

Archer: That is the control knob for the bomb in Just Derek’s neck. It goes up to eleven and it’s important that at least four times a day you use it to fuck with him, if you go up to six it will just be mild annoyance. Up to eight is pain, increasing all the way in levels up to eleven, at which his brains become modern art. If it wasn’t for The Stooge I’d be cranking so hard on that knob right now…

 

Maxx just blinks as Archer turns his attention now to Colby.

 

Archer: And to you… My champion, since coming back you have struck the iron while it’s hot, they can’t deny you or your legacy for much longer. That is why I have a task for you and a target, the target will allow you to watch the enjoyment drain from the audience's eyes. It’ll allow you to stop them being sports entertained and tap deeper into their dislike of someone that knows who they really are. You’re no man’s puppet, and it’s in the envelope on my bedside.

 

Archer yawns.

 

Archer: I grow tired, please collect your inheritance and go.

 

Archer feigns sleep, both of his comrades collect their gifts, Maxx taking more care of his than Colby’s simple letter. As the door closes Archer can be seen peeking to make sure no ones watching and proceeds to take a bite out of the body cast, revealing that it’s most likely a different type of plaster all together.

 

The door clicks, and the pair now outside begin to converse.

[Quartz]

lmao what a fucking goober