Riot 8-20-2010

[Jacob Trance]

Nope my bad... Added to page 5.

 

Summercide card this evening boss?

[Michael Morrison]

MADNESS REPORT

 

PAGE-1

 

D-EVOLUTION: It’s Hard To Grab Little Guys

 

KD may not have to worry about facing D-Jack for his career in this episode of RIOT, but that doesn’t mean he’s any less upset about their last shindig. Much like Karim’s girlfriend, KD is having trouble accepting a harsh reality: It’s hard to get a good grip on small guys. Mad. Rep. ZING!

 

As for Jookie: he’s scheduled to face another small-fry… or should I say another low-mein. You see, Hatachi is Asian and short, so he’s low to the ground. Low-mein… instead of small-fry… --__--

 

Would it be better if I just made an obvious reference to Jookie being Jamaican, but in a few months he’ll lose the accent and hail from South Africa? Or maybe he’ll pull a Booker and just change his accent at will… for no reason.

 

SINGELS MATCH

Dane Xavier vs Poison?

Although Xavier’s old entrance tunes fit his character better, I have to admit I’m glad he changed it to something else, even though I’m still not sure if it’s the right change. His new theme might work on a deeper sublevel but for me it comes off as a bit too aggressive… especially when considering his entrance attire.

 

As for his mystery opponent: No it wasn’t Poison. In fact, it wasn’t even an opponent that could be considered slightly harmful. In a world where Badass Bill could be considered a poison, Cam Ninja is equivalent to sniffing a marker… once… briefly.

 

If someone like Guy Fausto were to pull this off, it would be accepted; as Guy has always walked that line between the 4th wall and satire. In Xavier’s case, however, it just comes off as an “I don’t’ get it” moment: It makes it appear as if Baxter was doing Xavier a favor. Maybe Baxter is trying to kill Xavier with kindness?

 

ROCKSTAR: Party Like A Good Boy?

 

Quite a few walking contradictions tonight. Justin is back to rock the Casbah (look it up if you don’t get the reference you damn Anchor Baby), but he’s trying not to rock it too hard. Back from a rigorous rehab regiment that probably left 36 therapists seeking therapists of their own, Justin may still be a fan of Kevin Hash, but no longer parties with Cocaine Beware. That’s right, I just made a drug reference using former WWF superstars and part of me is prouder than I probably should be.

 

Also, Jim Black makes me sad for him... sometimes.

 

 

PAGE-2

 

D. JONES: The World Is My Stage

 

Dylan Jones (great name, by the way) makes a pretty good entrance. At first, I was worried this would be a rip-off of “Dashing” Cody Rhodes, but it’s more like a combination of Michael Heaton and Kurt Angle. Dylan Jones could very well be, professional wrestling’s only Oscar winning superstar… and considering the movies that most wrestlers put-out, he’ll probably be the last. You got the Mad One interested so far, Mr. Jones.

 

SINGLES MATCH

K.Dangelo vs Justin Rox

 

I dig Justin’s all-around look… stands out to me and you can tell he put some effort.

 

SMYTHE: That’s Why They Family

 

Well put, sir... well put. Smythe closes the page with little hints of the happenings that will be goings-on during SummerCide. Sounds like it might be a party, but “re-inventing wheels” was mentioned, so I’m guessing it’s going to be OCW’s first ghost-riding party. You heard it here, first.

 

http://www.topatoco.com/graphics/00000001/wigu-ghostriding-big.jpg

 

PAGE-3

 

??????: Shit Is Gonna Get Real Messy o__O

 

He’s bringing HC back, and I’m not talking about Hot Chicks… although that would be nice of him. Now I’m kind of disappointed… should have used Hand Cranks or Hobo Crabs… maybe Hairy Chests.

 

Anyways, the point is that someone returns and it’s a good return… not like one of them returns where you pretend to be happy but deep down you really wish they didn’t. I’m just saying.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Hatachi vs Jookie Marley

 

Hatachi is on fire… like General Tso’s Chicken. One more racial joke and I get a free “massage” at the Wu Pun Tang Parlor. Wooooooo!

 

XAVIER/BAXTER: +10 Armor But -20 Honor

 

Baxter doesn’t really explain why he chose Cam Ninja… at least not in so many words. However, he did bring us back to Xavier’s D&D, cape wearing days and made his intentions for SummerCide very clear. All things considered, not a bad promo.

 

 

PAGE-4

 

VALMONT: You WILL Let Me Finish

 

That’s what I tell chicks on the bus once they realize I’m dry humping them. Anyways, Valmont comes out and pushes his weight around; challenging anyone who has the stones to roll them into the ring.

 

WILLIAMS: Ready To Beat You

 

If only the chicks on the bus responded to my advances that way. None the less, Liam Williams says he has the stones to face Valmont and is willing to toss them in the ring. The question is, will he be leaving with them?

 

SINGLES MATCH

V. Valmont vs L. Williams

 

Vince McMahon approves of both attires. Maybe 3 people will get that joke… maybe. The important thing is that Liam Williams looks promising: he has a decent look and had a decent match against Valmont.

 

VALMONT: Give Them An Inch…

 

…yeah, you can guess what joke I was going to make. Valmont begins his “path of utter violence and revenge”, by not only defeating the young upstart, Mr. Williams, but also bustin’ him open. With his first statement made, he believes it’s time for his next move… at SummerCide; where his “utter” violence continues.

 

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g267/jozimmerman/EvilCow.jpg

 

 

PAGE-5

 

JOOKIE: Two In One Night

 

Jookie goes over his match against Hatachi while Jim Black holds a mic… so obviously something else is gonna happen, because I’d hate to think that Jookie took the time to make this video just for… oh snap, Jookie just got D-Jacked (it’s not as bad as it sounds).

 

Jackson accepts KD’s challenge by giving Jookie the message in physical form. Honestly, I think D-Jack thought Jookie was KD (because he can’t tell the difference like most white people), but after realizing it was Jookie, he figured he make it look intentional. Smooth move.

 

TRANCE/GAINES: We Could End Him

 

But can they, really? Of course they’re referring to Brandon Hostile: the man who would be our next North American Champion if everything continues to go his way. Many believe this poses a great threat to OCW, but two specific superstars know, first hand, just how serious of a threat Hostile can be. In fact, they may have to practice the old adage of “keep your enemies closer” in order to take out the mad-dog that Trance helped create.

 

Can the master put down his rabid protégé, or is this all just part of the plan? Gaines is having trouble trusting Trance on this one, and I don’t blame him… Trance is a dick sometimes. Either way, I’m really hooked into this storyline and can’t wait to see how it all goes down.

 

MAIN EVENT

Brandon Hostile vs Nathan Gaines

 

Is it Brandon or Brendan Hostile? Just asking. Back to the match: Apparently, Hostile has become such a risk that he needs two refs in his matches. Nice.

 

It’s obvious that Gaines is willing to do anything to stop the Hostile takeover; resorting to dirty tactics in the match. Is OCW losing its last backstage hero? Gaines has always stood for what’s right, despite his numerous failures :P he always brushed himself off and continued to do -- what he believed to be -- the right thing for OCW.

 

I suppose, getting run over and having to join forces with a sworn enemy can jade a brotha (I’m assuming he’s at least partially black). I guess we’ll see if the X-Pac of OCW is able to push through the storm and find the silver lining… or if he’ll embrace his inner dictator (I’m assuming he’s at least partially Cuban) and eventually turn to making homemade videos where he sleeps with masculine women?

 

Bottom line, as I mentioned before, I dig the story so far and enjoyed how the match went down. Keep up the good work, felllas.

 

NOTES: For those making RP videos, I’m sure Fausto or I have mentioned this before but a good rule of thumb, when trying to time the text, is to just read it at a normal pace and maybe add a second or two: usually if you know what it says already, you will read it faster than someone who is trying to make sense of it all.

 

Also, if you are going to use white/bright text without an all black background, try to give it a dark border or shadowing so that it sticks out: words tend to disappear when they hover over the mat.

 

Last but not least, make the text thick enough. Unless you’re making HD video, the text will get pixilation (or what ever the term is) and if the letters have thin areas, it makes it hard to read said text.

 

While looking for the "utter violence" pic, I found another one that reminded me of Hostile.

 

http://stuff.pyzam.com/funnypics/9/emocow.jpg

 

<< PREV / NEXT >>

[Iceberg LeTuce]

Not sure if i like Hostile's theme music, but there you go. Alot of stuff happening this week.

 

Mark for:

 

Return of D Jones

Return of mr "Hey look at me, i have a skin tight mask! BOOM, loadsa hair" :p

[Jacob Trance]

Epic Fucking Review

[Michael Morrison]

Return of mr "Hey look at me' date=' i have a skin tight mask! BOOM, loadsa hair" :p[/quote']Ever since the costume party last year...

 

http://www.onlinejokeshop.co.uk/images/shop/product_images/21620/6078.jpg

 

...Parker has vowed to master the art of hair concealment.

[Useless Dane Xavier]

Baxter doesn’t really explain why he chose Cam Ninja… at least not in so many words.

 

Baxter: But there's something about you that's becoming completely predictable about you Dane, your heartless way of doing anything possible to make it to the top. I knew you'd destroy Cam Ninja and I knew you wouldn't think twice about it.

 

Perhaps he should have gone deeper into detail, but this pretty much sums it up.

 

Plus, as we've stated before, we had a completely different plan for this. At the beginning of the month I had someone lined up to face me but he didn't show even though I PM'd him and he's been around the forums. Then as time began to wind down and my new busy schedule began to get in the way of something great happening this week, I had to come up with a backup plan, and this was the last minute thing I came up with. I asked a few people if they'd step up, one of them (who hates me even though I made a great attempt to at least get him to acknowledge me) ignored my IMs as I figured he'd do and the others just weren't interested. So yeah, I chalk this up to the laziness of a certain stoner, the hatred of a certain nerd, and my want and need to make a little money.

 

Life sucks and then you die.

[Michael Morrison]

Life sucks and then you die.

Teen Wolf?

 

Anyways, yeah, I got that Baxter explained why he chose Cam Ninja, but I still didn't understand the reasoning behind it. More or less, it would be like me tossing a 5 year old child to a known paedophile -- who happened to abuse me at one point -- because I wanted to show the world he's predictable.

 

But, like you said, shit happens, plans go the way of the dodo and you make do.

[Useless Dane Xavier]

Teen Wolf?

 

Anyways, yeah, I got that Baxter explained why he chose Cam Ninja, but I still didn't understand the reasoning behind it. More or less, it would be like me tossing a 5 year old child to a known paedophile -- who happened to abuse me at one point -- because I wanted to show the world he's predictable.

 

But, like you said, shit happens, plans go the way of the dodo and you make do.

I suppose that part of it was completely random, which is where my mind tends to go when I need an idea fast.

[Parker]

It was a hockey mask you dam vegetable! A hockey mask with a hood up, so it wouldnt be that hard!

[Brandon Hostile]

MADNESS REPORT

 

 

While looking for the "utter violence" pic, I found another one that reminded me of Hostile.

 

http://stuff.pyzam.com/funnypics/9/emocow.jpg

 

<< PREV / NEXT >>

 

 

Epiccccccc xD