Colin Locke

Usually I don't clarify Colin's moments of meta knowledge or fourth wall leanings to keep people guessing and keep my stories open, but as I really don't want this to catch on or be taken out of context or whatever, but I can confirm that this was not directed at the staff. Colin was very much dragged into the orbit of Tre and Danny's existing story, so now it's gotta be turned on its head and treated as a more fleshed out continuation and exploration of that for both characters in the wake of Lution (the Consequences, huehue). To me it wouldn't feel right to compartmentalise the Colin/IC story I've told all year and just go 'ok Colin and Tre fight now', so yeah, don't worry, there's always the next segment to try and hit the mark on the next story beat if I've not told the story clearly yet.

Pfft, Seltzer was convinced that Hyper Mantis Red was debuting at Lution, his sources haven't been good for ages

The Matches Hunter vs Dave E. Jones Yeah, this was alright. It's a shame that Dave E. lost as soon as the gimmick was unveiled, but I'm hoping that he can back this up with some decent writing. The match itself, rough around the edges, but I'll give it time, people far more experienced than me have flagged up the flaws, and I'm confident I'll be seeing good stuff from both these guys. Owen vs AC Cobra Oof, the entrance theme. I'd genuinely love to score something in time with his entrance once we know he'll be sticking around a bit. I know exactly what he's going for with it, but Game of Thrones is already a dead meme, and I feel that there are so many orchestral pieces that work better, maybe something from The Rite Of Spring, Symphonie Fantastique's march to the gallows, Sibelius' Swan of Tuonela, something with more texture than this. I like Owen, I wanna see more of him, but I think he needs a theme with gravitas. The match itself though, yeah it was bonkers, loads of flips and Owen kind of found a character groove towards the end. I'm really optimistic about this guy. Telos vs Nathaniel I'm not gonna lie, I was taken out of this match by how much it looked like Nathaniel was cooked, it felt weird seeing this scrawny guy take a beating with no damage until late game. I did like the ending, however, sudden death is always a fun time. 6 Man bois this was hell to organise. First tag match on the show, I had a fun time, thanks to the more experienced tag teamers on my team making me feel welcome, and Wolves put on a fight. Some game fuckery, sure, but the thing felt respectful for most part, and we all improvised around it. KD vs Tobin I have to admit, I don't know the lore, so this was lost on me. However, this is clearly a big deal! Not only that, with several high profile retirements/breaks happening, I'm really excited to see the landscape of OCW change for the rest of this season, hopefully it gives new contenders a chance, and will be a chance for good stories to be told. The actual match, I love KD, he's great, and I thought the story of Tobin not being able to win with a regular powerbomb so he did a top rope one was really clever. Elliot vs Kass Match of the night. No doubt. It was bloody great seeing two kicky guys going mad on each other, and it was one of the first times I saw Elliot really bring it in the ring the way he does on our Dms sometimes. Such a flashy match with loads of stuff going on, I loved it, and I hope Elliot does something with his momentum from here. Terra vs Blaine Well, this was just an all out fight. Not as flashy as the previous match, and potentially less memorable because of that, but I always like seeing two top tier handlers try and outdo each other, it's great to watch from an OCW-playing perspective. Terra is still one of my favourite things in the entire company, and I'm looking forward to see her climbing up the rankings. H20 vs Parca Yeah, solid. I'm really liking Heel Parca, and I really wanted H20 to pull it out. I was worked as all hell when he hit the Trouble and Ted was distracted, really great heel stuff, really great storytelling. Heel Parca, once the niggly bits with the tag belts is sorted out, will be a force of nature, and I'm excited to see it. Memorable stuff from the RPs -- Dominion Promo -- Hey guys Dominion are into Omegaverse. Yeah, the line about alphas in particular stood out to me. I will admit, I'm not as big on Dominion as I used to be, I hope Tony gets to fly a bit more on his own with that title, Rust is one of my favourite characters on his own merits (more on that in a sec), but, jesus. Nate struck me as this old, powerful guy who speaks clearly and with intent, while also being a properly nasty bastard, and he just took this segment for himself with minimal effort. -- DOC and Rust -- I nearly gave this to the Doc retirement story in general, but I loved this promo in particular. I just feel the weight and the history dripping off this promo. Nothing fancy, nothing long, just something that draws on what OCW is and immediately got my attention. -- Heel Parca does Heel Parca Things -- This show was packed with Heel Parca, and jesus christ do I hate this guy. Great, great characterisation throughout, and the best part is I recognise this guy. Heel Parca isn't a huge departure from old Parca, he's just got something a bit different to him that makes you love to hate him. Out of character, Parca's really stepped up his writing, and he's pulled this out of the bag at just the right time. I'm hyped to follow this story, and I'm very excited to hopefully do some writing in this overarching Dennis Dillinger story. -- H20 Raps -- When are we doing a rap battle using the DK Rap as a beat, that's the real question.

I've just read the show, and yeah, if I can recommend a promo, I'd recommend Dominion's promo on page 2. For me, this being my first road to Wrestlution has been an odd one, as I'm still getting used to some of the deeper lore cuts that are being pulled out for feuds this year, and I did kind of feel like I'd just thrown a big spanner into the plan when Colin won the title, but I reckon this one promo just sums up the road to Wrestlution, and ties this entire year up for me. If Wrestlution is the series finale, if you like, then this series has been about Dominion getting Dominion over stuff. I think everything's in doubt here, Antonio's got a hell of a fight ahead, Danny's got a lot to prove, and Nate's in for a serious fight. It's gonna be ace to see how many of them take belts at Lution, and this promo has got me hyped to see what happens there, and is just a perfect story dump for newer people to understand what's going on, especially as we've got some newer rookies on board. --- Christian Garcia promo review Guy's one of the newer people, and he put in a good promo, so I'm giving a bonus promo review. I like his breakdown of his weight, it's cool, unique, and I really hope that as things unfold, we see this stuff appear, the speed, the lightness and skill. It should be good. The writing is pretty tight technically, too, I like the pacing, you can feel the intensity, rather than just be told it's there. I'm on the fence about the swearing, it might be too much, too often, but because of the presentation, it doesn't feel like I'm reading the words of some 12 year old who's just discovered South Park, so I'm not as bothered by it as I usually would be, my eyes haven't rolled out of my head, and it kind of works. Overall, this dude's got a solid start on him, I wanna see how his character unfolds beyond this, if he can back up what he's going on about, definitely someone who'd be great to work with, hopefully he sticks around and keeps improving.

Few thoughts on my standout bits; Main Event ending, I was disappointed, the match itself had some great dynamics to it, Danny was winning resets and looked dominant, but Kass had the mental edge throughout and would've carried that to a win if the internet hadn't been dreadful. My issue with the finish isn't entirely the no contest part, it was more Kass looked a bit stupid getting distracted by someone walking around when Danny was ready to deck him. It's stupid in WWE, and I'm interested to see how they RP their way out of this one without completely ignoring the distraction finish. I'll be keeping an eye on what gets written, I'm very ready to be wrong. Rookie debuts looked pretty promising, but above all, I wish I could see more of Jerome, those dances were fun as hell. Chris vs Chris was a victim of stuff that couldn't be helped, it was nice seeing TWC Chris getting some singles time, the haircut popped me, and I really wanna see John do a story where he's trying hard to not have a barber gimmick, it was one of my favourite bits, truth be told. I loved Valk's video. Honestly, in my head, OCW exists in a universe where wrestling is real, and it is one of the most important things in the world. Archer has a business Empire, Parca's action figures are going unsold at Toys R Us, the smarks are moaning that Colin is overpushed, and Terra and Valk fighting in the streets is top tier breaking news. Great stuff. There's some really strong writing on this show, give it a read if you were down on the videos like a fair few of us were. I'd love to do a 'my favourite RP' thing in these reviews, but, honestly, I can't decide between Everett and B17 and Rust/Cort, especially with Iceman's video being a part of that. Hope I get to write with some of these guys at one point, it's great stuff, genuinely.

The camera pans across an industrial estate as Colin Locke and several members of the Locke & Key crew make their way past several storage lots of varying size and quality. Some have shutter doors that are nearly rusted shut and covered in bad graffiti, and some are clearly new, well kept, with several padlocks keeping them shut. Colin looks deep in thought as he thinks aloud to the group. Colin: -So I think that's why he caught me. Aisu, apparently one of the best technical fighters, or so Parca says, didn't see me coming, Parca, he kind of got used to it halfway through, but not before getting scooped, but Solomon, though. Solomon's a different picture, I wasn't prepared for what he was sending out, and that's where I ballsed up, right. He looks around to the group, who remain silent. Colin: Guys, don't be getting all doom and gloom on me now! You were telling me, we'd sorted out some new stuff? One member of the crew pipes up. Locke & Key Crew 1: Oh yeah, we've been trying to get the whole storage system running as it should be, you know, stuff gets in lots from the sorting room, stuff to the lots gets in the sorting room. Colin: You've not made it so we can't go storage hunting in mystery lots, right? L&K Crew 1: Oh god, no, that's the fun part. This is only for the boring stuff, furniture in abandoned lots and that. As Colin nods approvingly, another member of the crew walks to the front of the group and takes a piece of paper out of their pocket and shows it to Colin. L&K Crew 2: Hey, by the way, with Solomon, you were saying how people who lost to you got title shots? Colin: Oh yeah, that was a weird coincidence. Fun joke, though, riled Caine up a bit. L&K Crew 2: Yeah, that's not a joke, dude. Check it out. Colin reads the piece of paper, and as he does, his eyes widen. Colin: You what... This is the Riot card? The camera cuts to a close-up of the Riot card, showing Colin Locke vs Danny Watts. Colin: Nah, come on. L&K Crew 2: We heard there were some OCW related leaflets that had been delivered to a lot, we managed to check them out. We got to the lot, opened up the door... It's real. L&K Crew 1: Looks like Watts' gon' give it to ya, Colin. Colin: Shit. Colin laughs, shaking his head in disbelief as the group keep walking. They eventually come to a stop, and the camera pans over the storage lot in front of them, revealing the Locke & Key Logo on the shutter door. After putting the card in his pocket, Colin lifts the door and flips a switch inside, revealing an office block, with a stereotypically clean, corporate-looking design, the kind that absolutely should not be in a storage lot. There are several desks around the room, with their computers already turned on. Colin: I prefer the war room, but this'll do for a moment. The group follow Colin into the room, and Colin flips open a laptop on a nearby table, tapping away at it. L&K Crew 2: Pretty nice space, this'll do nicely. But what're we looking for, Colin? Colin shrugs. Colin: Hmm. I dunno, treadmills? Exercise bikes? Any fitness related thing really. This Danny guy, he's gonna be living outside the ring, properly pitching a tent outside it and getting a campfire going. I've gotta be in decent shape if I need to keep chasing the guy down, and I'm gonna be chasing this guy down. I just wanna see what's in our system, there's gotta be something here that'll help me get ready for when I'm not at the OCW gym. The crew members disperse, head to several computers, and the group get to work as the scene fades out.

Oh shit the eyepatch, I love this

The camera pans over an industrial estate. The buildings are all in a state of disrepair, the sky is looking grey, and there is a general feeling of peace and quiet in the area. The only ones there, it seems, are the Locke & Key crew, and Colin Locke stands in the middle of the group, a crutch in his left hand supporting some of his weight and a new, better designed set of metal kneepads wrapped tightly around his knees. Colin: Alright, guys. We did it. We’ve showed Archer that he can’t come around here throwing his weight around, and I’ll tell you what, I bet we’ve made a lot of people happy by beating him. Colin leads the group as he limps up to a building and knocks on the door. The rest of the crew look uneasy as they follow him, but the group are welcomed inside the building, and it is revealed to be one of Locke & Key’s storage facilities. Once everyone is inside, the door closes behind them, and the camera pans across the group. Locke & Key Crew 1: Colin… You’re hurt, there. Like, Archer beat the shit out of your leg to get past the metal plates, and he did do it. That’s a lot of force, you need to get checked out, man. Colin: Look, I’ve got time to get checked out later, I need to protect myself as much as I can. If I can’t walk, I can’t scoop, if I can’t scoop, I can’t succeed, right? Imagine if he hadn’t been warning me for months that he’d try and cripple my legs. Imagine if he hadn’t actually decimated my gear with a shovel in one of these lots. I got lucky, I was right to do what I did. L&K Crew 1: But if you hadn’t gone in with metal attached to your kneepad, he would’ve hurt you just enough to get a submission. It’s like you said, it’s not about winning or losing, it’s about punching billionaires in the face, and you could’ve done that without putting yourself in so much danger. There is a moment of pause as Colin listens, head bowed slightly. Colin: But if I wasn’t protected, he might’ve done much worse. I don’t trust Archer. I can’t, he tried to put us out of business. Christ, the best way to do that would’ve been to make sure I can’t wrestle, make sure I can’t do my job so I can keep you guys employed, with a roof over your heads. I’ve… Colin swallows hard, and looks up to the group, determined and one-hundred-percent sure of himself. Colin: I’ve gotta do this, guys. I’ll be off this crutch over the next few days, and I’ll be back in business. A few smiles of gratitude emerge amongst the Locke & Key crew, and Colin beckons them to follow him. The group walk throw the narrow corridors of the storage lot, and eventually come to the shutter door of the Locke & Key War Room, the Locke & Key logo still proudly displayed on it. Colin goes to press the button to open the door, but another member of the crew put a hand on his shoulder. L&K Crew 2: I just need to ask. Archer didn’t bet the storage lots on this. We’ve got nothing back from him for winning and whether you’re off the crutch over the next few days or not, you are hurt. Do you think it was worth the risk? A small smirk appears on Colin’s face as he presses the button, and the door opens. As the shutter door rises, a phone rings. Then, another phone rings. And another. And another. And another. Colin: It was never about winning or losing, it was about punching billionaires in the face. The lights of the war room come on, and every mobile phone is lit up, vibrating furiously on their tables. Colin: Because, at the end of the day, no one wants their lives being decided by people that far removed from the real world. There’ll always be people who need to ‘sell out’ to keep a roof over their heads, and that’s fine, but every one of those phones? That’s someone who believes in the disrupters, the guys who want to punch billionaires, both figuratively and literally, and, most importantly, financially. The crew fill the room, answering their phones and frantically jotting down notes as new orders come in, and new lots become available. Colin turns and faces the camera, taking a second to gather his thoughts before addressing it. Colin: We might not have gotten the lots back, but I think we’ve won a bit of favour in the storage industry. As for favour in wrestling, I reckon I’ve got a bit more of that, too, and I’m gonna be seeing you guys very, very soon. It takes a lot more than, you know, sustained blunt force trauma to keep me out of it, and, until next time, you can keep that under Locke & Key. Colin gives the camera a nod before turning and limping into the room to join his crew as the scenes fades out.

It's review time, what a show. Pugh RP Pugh's a great talker, I liked this promo. I'd love for the rhythm of the actions to be more varied, rather than 'He does thing, he does other thing', but it definitely looks like Pugh's best when the guy's talking, so I can't complain that he accentuated his strengths here, good stuff, I like it. Shame we're on different consoles. Danny promo video Shit, I have done such a turnaround on Danny. I was pretty clearly a bit 'u cheeky lil cnt leavin the ring' when Colin and Danny last met, but if he's gonna roll with the 'Fuck your five stars in the Tokyo Dome, it's my belt now' gimmick, then bloody fair play, this is the stuff I'm talking about when I say about turning stuff that happens in matches into stories. I hope he's a right bastard with that title, because if he is, he'll put someone over big one day when they kick his arse, and that's all I can ask of a heel champion. Maxx, Spider, Quartz promo. I really like Quartz being around the others in the roster, he's a very solid writer, and there's a lot of stuff being built that he'll be able to draw on later in the reign. QC Connect I'm not sure. The workload Marisa is putting in is really impressive, but truthfully, I'm just not immensely big on NPCs in videos. I think there's great potential for Marisa to have stories with members of the roster all over the place (I'll get into this later, but Asher should be screaming for a Marisa story), they're clearly creative, and I reckon we could have some amazing 'Oh shit no!' moments with certain people aligning themselves with Marisa. Potential, well made, not hugely for me, though Evelyn/Marisa should be fun. McBlaine promos. I hope that McBlaine finally gets Mendoza after he killed her partner. Seriously though, solid stuff, I like the description, as I'm new here, I do not have a clue what's going on, but the styles distinct enough that I'll be able to follow this story in future shows. Good stuff, keep it going. Wrex and Aisu Noice, universe building. Wrex and Aisu meet, they've got a common enemy, short, sweet, to the point. The Judge Yeah, alright. I don't like jobber matches in real life, so I'm a bit eh here, but Jordan Trance is gonna be a great story when that comes through, got a big meaty guy vs a smaller whippy guy, it's always a good dynamic, and both of these guys can do promos. Good stuff. Emp + Ashley Oh please give me a feud about dropped hotdogs. What an idea. My aversion to having food on my skin has just made Emp an ultra heel, and I'm here for the match. Evelyn vs Flojo The background music gave me real No Mercy vibes here, but I did enjoy this match. Competitive, and great to see on the VC, cannot complain. Locke & Key Quartz did a great job of letting himself be sucked into my shitpost orbit, so thanks to him for helping this segment work! Parca is ded Holy shit Danny moidered him. I'm conflicted, right, the sort of 'I lost a big match, and I will sell it as near death' is a bit of a trope, but I know Parca's trying to explore new aspects of his character and level up his writing, and now he's not a singles champion, this is the perfect time to do that. Well played, I'm keeping an eye on his development. Asher vs Colin + post match promo I'm gonna lump these together, I really enjoyed this match. I hugely underestimated Asher, not being hugely familiar with him, and I took a good loss. If, however, he had more of a character, he'd be rolling. His 'sexiest man alive' gimmick is inherently a heel gimmick, whether he's an optimistic bro, an incel, or a narcissist, it can't be a tweener gimmick unless you are a phenomenal writer. If he had a story with a clear heel/face dynamic, and messaged Marisa for some promos, he'd be someone to keep an eye on, and I hope I see him about more. Fair if he's got time constraints, a busy life, etc, can't judge, but he's a good player. Mujera promo Yep, hype that match, I like how Mujera is as much of a bastard as Rust. I think she could afford to bury Valkyrie a little more, instead of doing the 'She's a threat, yep' thing, considering the hype Valkyrie's drummed up, but that's nitpicking, this did the job. Nate Ortiz Trump Rally I can't remember what World of Warcraft cinematic this reminded me of. Decent, never thought I'd say this, but I think this format would work better as a video. That said though, I'm seeing a side of Dominion I've not spotted before, why not, it works. Let's see how they do now they've lost some belts and a member. Kassidy and Quartz More Quartz title touring, good stuff, Ty's there, it's nothing immensely meaty, but it's building a few things, it'll be nice to see how they go from here. Beef Battle Good match, sufficiently meaty, but I'm really interested in the post match beatdown. Lucha Country are fuckin ded m8, and I need to see how they're gonna keep their belts. Looks grim, but hopefully they can do the good face things and win the day eventually. Ashley meets Heather Yep, short little conversation, some tension building, pretty good stuff, I like it. Wrestling Club's ritual sacrifice The numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for the Wrestling Club being sacrificed. H20 and DOC looked great, WC put up their best fight, and no one will blame them for this loss. The other guys were on fire, and as I said on the voice party, I don't even like tag team wrestling all the match and I was entertained. Good stuff. Capitol is stormed Who let Jon Schaffer in the fed? If you're reading, Jon, Iced Earth fucking suck, and Hansi Kursch carried you through Demons and Wizards, you downpicking donkey. Yeah, this was pretty good. Pugh diss track I have no idea what this is, but I'm intrigued. He said he wouldn't but I hope Pugh sticks around, people clearly wanna give him a fight, and that'll just be a fun time. Holly + Ashley Ah, spooky shit, I love this stuff. This may be a huge backhanded compliment, but the lack of punctuation in the speech makes me read this in a very flat, stilted way, and whether it was intended or not, I feel like it put the character across. Nice. Terra + Valkyrie Yeah, Terra's still great, one of the best written characters here. Valkyrie played a blinder pulling the 'I was pregnant you tree hugging donkey' card on Terra, and this is a rivalry I can really get behind. Judge + Jordan Jordan's speech was fantastic, can already tell he's a great character to be going into this rivalry. It's gonna be very satisfying when he beats the Judge. Kassidy calls out Doc Yeah, solid. I do not like cutscenes, but DOC's still got a great presence, so it works here. The cutscene's well made even, fair play, and the story makes sense. Well up for this match. Blacksmith Promo Hmm, interesting stuff. Blacksmith, to me, is a natural heel, whether the audience like him or not, his manner is very heelish, and here, he's almost sympathetic. I say almost, because his 'I may not be able to beat you' goes side by side with his 'But I might outlast you', giving a really threatening twist on what could've have been a face promo delivered by a heel. This really, really works, and it's probably my favourite thing I've seen Blacksmith do. SOCK PUPPET FIGHT So yeah, this is why you should do stories with me. Credit to Jamie, because while I did spend half an hour in crunch position underneath a table while I bashed my sock puppet covered hands together for a few takes, none of this would've happened without Jamie saying 'can you do sock puppets', and me replying 'Only if I can give Archer a comedy american accent'. I don't do video promos often, but I hope that every time you see one from me, it's as batshit and stupid as this. Loved hearing the reaction to this, I'm always happy to give out a few laughs when I can. And, in the words of me voicing Thomas Archer, SEE YA AT DA CLAAAASH. Can't wait, thanks for the opportunity. Cort hypes his match Ah man this match will be brutal. Cort's a good writer, I like his style, I really do. I really want a sort of lampshade-hanging US based rivalry with him, reading his character, it could be loads of fun, good promo. KD Voice promo KD's promos just kill me, great stuff. Remember how I said about the US based rivalry? I fucking died at 'I know you're one of them Proud Boys'. Jesus, he's on the money. My new ambition is to be relevant enough to have KD shit on me in a promo. Love these things. P3 I still have no idea what these are. I like how these promos seem to just have a basic premise that they just riff on, sometimes it hits for me, sometimes it doesn't, but considering my methodology is basically 'Think of a basic hook, riff on his for pages on end', I like the feeling these give off, never quite know what's gonna happen. I do think that some of them rely too much on all caps screaming, but the subject matter here suits it, with the accendocoin, and the kind of stuff that's happened with Wallstreetbets recently. Maxx vs Quartz This was less of a murder than I expected, good match, Maxx got to put some of his stuff over, but in the end, Quartz was too much. Looking forward to this Quartz reign, it's promising stuff. Lady Caleigh stuff Yeah, I'm interested in this. The women's division is looking great at the moment, and I wanna see where all of these little stories end up, it feels like there'll be a big meeting point later on. Blaine + Morrison This is getting fun. Again, no idea what this is leading to, but Jehst is now involved, there's a mysterious logo, and generally, this stuff is well written, I really like it. The pictures are a really nice touch as well, especially with such dense paragraphs of description, it changes the pace and pulls you in. Just well done all round, great stuff. Main Event This match really surprised me, I thought Valkyrie had this in the bag with all the hype, but either way, great match, I was tired as hell on the VP, but this was a lot of fun, and now Terra's involving herself to push the Valkyrie story forward, really great way to wrap up the show. All in all, amazing stuff.

Inside a doctor's office, Colin Locke is sitting on the side of an examination table while the doctor sits at his desk, looking through the database on his computer. Doctor: Okay, Mr. Locke, I've got your records up, let's have a look at you then. Tell me what happened, our receptionist mentioned being hit in the legs by a blunt object? A shovel, apparently? Colin: Yeah, got knocked about a bit, the rest of me is fine, I'm not worried, I just really want to make sure my legs aren't doing anything weird, don't want anything to come back to haunt me. Doctor: No problem, let me just get these kneepads off you, and we can have a look. The doctor tugs at Colin's kneepads for a moment but can't seem to move them. He lets out a concerned hmm and tries again. No luck. Colin: Yeah, they're stuck there, might be swelling or something? Doctor: No... It's not that... Can you lift your leg up a moment? Colin lifts his leg up, and the doctor pulls from underneath Colin's leg for a moment. The kneepad completely falls apart. Colin: Oh what. The doctor does the same on Colin's other leg, again, the kneepad falls apart, both of them now in vaguely clothy tatters on the floor. Doctor: So, considering that you can walk, albeit with a bit of a limp, and looking at the state of these, I am hoping that your kneepads took most of the beating. You'll never be able to use these again though, realistically, you shouldn't have used these in the first place, but they did their job. Colin: They died doing what they loved. Colin lifts the legs of his trousers up, and the doctor looks closely at them. They're bruised, fairly badly bruised, in fact, but neither Colin nor the doctor seem particularly worried. Doctor: Just as I thought, some bruising, it'll be sensitive for a few days, but that'll be back to normal soon. You've gotta be careful for a while so that you don't develop any weaknesses, but, I'd recommend a bit of rest over the next few days, and that you replace those kneepads if you're gonna do any sports. The doctor takes another look at the tattered cloth on the floor. Doctor: Preferably with some harder padding. Do that, and you shouldn't have any long term issues. Colin: Yeah, was planning on getting some metal ones, but never really had the time to do it. Will have to make time for that. The scene fades out as Colin and the Doctor continue talking.

Overall, great show, glad I caught it all on voice, thought I'd whack my thoughts up on the video stuff! -- Here there be spoilers -- -- Seriously, don't look -- -- Alright, yeah, spoiler territory -- Cort vs Archer - Really great match, the lumberjacks were great fun, particularly with the FPR change for them, I really liked the pacing of the match, with a lot of it happening inside the ring, and then gradually building it up until everyone was fighting, plus a surprise result, was a good time. H20 vs Blacksmith - Gimmick matches like this, for me, always seem like they're on a knife edge, they can easily fall apart, but I really enjoyed this. Felt like a close match, the reactions on voice made it even better, all in all, yeah, ace, guy went through a flaming table. Backstage brawl - I love these things, game's janky as hell, so there's always some unintentional comedy, and it's building a story, good stuff, and the chair appearing out of nowhere was great. Marisa stuff - I'll lump this whole storyline together, great to see that Marisa is doing more stories and following straight on from the Terra feud, I feel like everyone was holding their breath when she showed up with two guys, but yeah, this worked well. I'm not sure if the narration has to be so literal at times when the thing being described is happening on screen, but the actual content, really liked it, the bit where she came back with the bin was great. Fun stuff. Unsanctioned fight - I just really like stuff that expands on the world OCW works in, to be honest, and I do like the idea of this underground fighting promotion. Really great video work to start it off, and yeah, women's division's looking phenomenal at the moment, really cleverly done. Dominion vs Lucha Country - Gotta give respect, this must've been a hard match to keep track of for all the players involved, and I liked the cooperation between Lucha Country in the ending. From a storyline perspective, I'm looking forward to seeing what this, and Everett taking a break does to Dominion, and I know Lucha Country were looking a bit more vulnerable in their promos recently, it'll be interesting to see how they play through this, because they're dominant as hell, I cannot call what's next for them. Aisu promo - Jesus christ, this was ridiculous. The keyframe sign, the facetime bit, this was just fantastic. Maxx's stuff has just been so enjoyable recently, I wanna see what fun places this feud goes as it progresses. Tre vs Jehst - I honestly didn't expect to like the hair vs hair stipulation as much as I did. I wasn't overly invested in this beforehand, but, jesus christ, the idea of one of these guys getting shaved just carried me through the match. Good match, too, the shaving segment was well done, and I like Jehst and Cort now being the bald bros. Valkyrie segment - I love voice synthesis. I really do, it's great. As mentioned on Twitch, if I ever have a female alt, she'll be voiced by vocaloid software, and it'll be because of this promo. Now, I'm a noob here, so I'm not in the know about Valkyrie and why she's a big deal here, but this sort of stuff's clueing me in a bit, and with the women's division looking really interesting right now, it feels like a great term for her to show up. Wrex vs B17 - Jesus christ the kung fu fighting entrance. Controversial match with all the non-Kumite happenings, but I do really like this as a match type, and considering B17's dominant as all hell right now, Wrex can be proud that he put up a great fight, I thought he was genuinely gonna do it at one point. Doc vs Solomon - You know what, this felt like a main event. You couldn't have scripted this better, right, Solomon taking the first win, a lot of the match was close fought, I thought at one point it might be a 2-1, with the deciding win being a countout. Solomon looked great, Doc's back with the belt, and there are some great stories to tell from this match. Hopefully they get told and both these guys keep doing great stuff. Ashley Moore vs La Mujera - Good match, I think there were one or two weird instances of cage match jankiness, but nature of the beast, really. The finishers were tense as hell to sit through with the knockout rule in effect, and yeah, brutal finish with Mujera just being grabbed and strangled. This stuff's why I love this place, we were genuinely on edge watching the long sub fights, which are, essentially, virtual thumb wars. Good stuff, plus title change, I love to see it. Everett announcement - I genuinely expected something dodgy to happen from start to finish with all the walking backstage, but it's just a solid announcement that sells the gravity of what happened earlier, and makes the world feel alive. Good stuff. Quartz vs Cohle - o lawd. Yeah, what a match. Rust is just the guy, it feels like he's held the belt forever, but Quartz is always looming, this match has been on the cards for a while. I think this match is another example as to why the stipulations are great, Cohle had the chance to put up a great fight, when it sounds like people thought he might just get ragdolled, he got a fall on Quartz, great. I don't think this story is over, though. There's something about Quartz as a character that doesn't sit right with me, and I think he'll have some interesting developments coming up, and I wouldn't be surprised if we're gonna be cheering the person who dethrones him in the end. Overall, great show, I feel boring because I'm so positive about the things I've seen, but great show, not a bad match on it. There's some great written work too, but it's late and I wanted to whack my initial thoughts up before I forgot anything. One thing that struck me here, is that there are loads of stories that can be told with these matches, everyone involved has some real meaty stuff to pick apart over the next few weeks, and I'm really looking forward to seeing where it's all going!

Colin Locke, El Parca, and WhereCulture’s Aaron Willis are sitting around a table in the WhereCulture offices. The background is full of championship belts, signed pictures, and general wrestling merchandise, all of which go slightly out of focus as Aaron addresses the camera with his usual flair. Aaron: Hello! Welcome to WhereCulture Wrestling, and today, we’ve got two very special guests. We’ve got Colin Locke in the studio, and we also have, making his first appearance on the channel… Aaron leans back in his chair and shouts to the ceiling; Aaron: PARCA DOS STRAPS! Parca seems surprised for a moment, but Aaron gets right back into his usual flow. Aaron: Now Parca, your title reigns have been big so far, like, you have held onto that belt like no one’s business, there must be some immense pressure on you every time some new challengers come up, right? Parca: Lately? Absolutely. At first, it was all like a dream to be honest with you. Capturing the International Championship off of the most dominant champion in it’s history is wild. Beating Thomas Archer is no easy task... Parca gives a quick glance to Colin before looking back to Aaron Parca: -And THEN! Sweeping the Tag Team Classic with Reese was just.. What’s the word for really big moment? Parca pats Colin on the shoulder. Parca: Help me out here amigo, what’s the word I’m thinking of? Colin’s eyes open wide as his brain starts almost audibly ticking in search of a word. Colin: Well, I suppose that’d be a big milestone in your career from the sounds of it. Parca: Yes! Thank you. It was just a huge milestone and, now? Look at us. Chill Faktor is right around the corner and we defend against Dominion. THEN! On the next Turmoil it’s Me vs. Danny Watts. Within a week I will have to fight the hardest I ever have in not just one, but TWO matches. Colin: Ah, to be fair though, Danny will give you some breathing room, that triple threat we had, just went for a leisurely stroll every now and then, I’m confident for you on that front. Dominion, though, I dunno, that could be a challenge. Aaron: Well, we’ve already seen Parca vs Tony Everrett, great match by the way, I think Colin’s right in that Dominion might be one of your biggest challenges yet. Lucha Country might be the thing stopping them from grabbing most of the company’s belts come Chill Faktor! Colin: Oh, Christ, if Rust retains and then they got even more belts, we would not hear the end of it. I dunno though, you guys seem solid, have you been doing anything different when you’ve been preparing for Dominion? Parca leans back in his chair before sighing, Parca: That’s a good question, honestly this is probably our most difficult task. We got Nate Ortiz, quite literally the best wrestler in the business. This man has done any and everything you can do in this business let alone the company. Colin raises an eyebrow as Aaron nods along to Parca’s words, completely engaged. Parca: And then, you got Antonio Everrett, the man who is one of the most dominant people in OCW currently. Those two men teamed up? You got a hall of famer, ex world champion, and then a soon to be world champion chomping at the bit at the idea of taking our titles. We stepped it up, we prepared for a war and, that’s what we expect out of them. Colin: See, this is weird for me, the only thing I know of Dominion is what I’ve seen from them so far, I was thinking Nate Ortiz was looking a bit skeletal recently, I mean, he’s not a spring chicken, let’s be fair to ourselves, so I’m just learning all this stuff about him being, like, apparently alright at wrestling. Aaron gives a little snort with laughter as Colin just brings up Nate’s age without any kind of subtlety or softening of the blow. Aaron: One day you’re gonna get into trouble, Colin, talking like that. Colin: What, you wanna see Old Man Dominion go flying? We’ll see about that after Archer’s given me my lots back, Parca gets the first go at Dominion though, I’m just sort of in the queue somewhere. Aaron: But, anyway, Parca, we know this is a huge moment in your career, you know it, and you’re most likely wrapped up in your training for that, but what if we’re here in, two, three weeks time, and you’ve retained against three members of Dominion, what happens then? Anyone you’ve got your eye on who might be coming for your titles in the future? Parca smooths his hair back as he leans to the left side of his chair nodding. Parca: You can never look past your current challengers. Thinking of the future when you have a threat in front of you is just playing with fire. Our attention is fully on Dominion, whatever happens next for either championship is irrelevant if I can’t keep hold of them. Colin: You know, I’m amazed that people aren’t just gunning for your belt left, right, and centre, I feel like if I was the International Champion I might be able to get a European passport, would be great. Aaron: You were so close to having that match, Colin! Colin: Do not remind me. My passport’s shit, always gets stuck at airports, takes me ages to get anywhere. It’s a right bastard being English, can’t fly anywhere without severe hassle and everyone tries to do your accent, it’s mental. Parca: Hey Colin, when the time comes and you finally get in the ring with Archer, gimme a “Heyo!” and I’ll help train ya. Parca snarkily points and winks at Aaron Parca: There’s your next story Aaron! Aaron: You know what, I couldn’t imagine that you guys’ styles couldn’t be further apart, I’m just trying to imagine Colin doing a Parca move, would be a real sight. What do you reckon, Colin? Colin: Well, obviously I’ll be training with Parca, the guy’s just got it, you know? His moves've got style and they look like they hit like a bloody lorry. I definitely wouldn’t be able to pick up a Parca move, though, plus, Archer knows his style well, as does everyone on the roster. Nah, I’d wanna take a Parca-ism and make it a bit nastier, you know? Parca without missing a beat. Parca: Chicks dig flips y’know? Just saying, just saying. Anyways continue! Colin: You’re a lucha guy, I’ve seen you guys, you probably can’t even get out of the bed without doing fifty cartwheels. Us mortals have gotta deal with just throwing guys across the ring and hoping that they can’t get up. Works though, I’ve not seen Code Jackman in a while, and Blacksmith got scooped so hard he lost his theme song. But yeah, I’m game for some training sessions whenever I’ve gotta deal with Archer, how’d you get on with him when you guys had a fight? Parca facepalms and rubs his eyes as he lets out a small groan. Parca: I guess you’ve seen how you get on with him. He’s a prick, a right prick. Is that the saying? Did I get it right? Parca looks back and forth between Colin and Aaron for approval. They both smile and nod back, clearly enjoying the effort Parca’s going into to get the lingo down. Aaron: Yep, you’ve got it! Colin: Oh christ, yeah, he’s a proper twat, can’t stand the guy. I was more thinking you’ve already seen his in-ring tricks first hand, it’d be worth it to get a bit of a heads up, see the sort of stuff he might try on me when we’ve got to fight. Parca: Oh that? Easy! I guess how I’d explain it is, when you get in the ring with him expect the unexpected. Luckily for me, I didn’t have his whole group to deal with either. So that one I have no advice for, pal, sorry. Colin sort of waves the part about him having Archer’s entire organisation after him away and replies; Colin: Ehhh. The weight of his money that he’ll send at you, yeah, awful, that’s been hard to keep track of, but, I mean… Like, who’s he got? Said it before, I’ll say it again, the guy knows he’s the only one he can trust to beat me, it’s why he’s not fed his failed film stars to me, would be a total waste of time. As long as I can avoid getting my legs smashed up and find a way to ruin his day, I’ll be very happy whenever I’ve gotta go in the ring with him. I’m more concerned about the horseplay in your matches, you’ve got Danny running around to grab chairs, and half of the Dominion stuff I’ve seen ends with every other member turning up and messing about. Do you reckon there’ll be anything dodgy happening over the next few weeks? Can’t help but feel you’ve not got a smooth ride ahead, if we’re talking about expecting the unexpected. Parca nods along as Colin goes on, he sits up as Colin wraps up. Parca: Well, here’s the thing I’d be lying to you if I said no. But then again, the odds may be on our side for once. Rust is main eventing at Chill Faktor, Nate & Ev will be preoccupied, and Danny is gonna be preparing for Turmoil. It’ll be grueling, but they all are focused on their own stuff, so now we just gotta prepare for any sort of stipulation. I’m confident me and Reese are prepared for it all. Aaron: Well, hopefully all that preparation pays off this Saturday, we’ll be doing a live stream of it, so all you lovely people at home can see our reactions to the show as it happens, and, as always, there’ll be a review of the show on our podcast which will be releasing on Monday! Colin, always a pleasure to talk with you, and it’s been incredible meeting you, Parca! But for now, it’s goodbye from these two… Parca and Colin: Bye! Aaron: And it’s goodbye from WhereCulture Wrestling, but before we go, why not hit that subscribe button while you're here so that you can keep up to date on all of the newest wrestling news? We'll see you all very soon.

Dramatic orchestral music plays as the camera pans across a fairly cramped room, revealing several groups of people hard at work. On one side is a long table with people side-by-side, tapping furiously at their laptops, on the other side is a row of people answering telephones and scribbling down notes. In the centre of this is a third, circular table with a map of the USA on it. People are gathered around this table, debating and placing Monopoly houses on different parts of the map, and Colin Locke is pacing the room, overlooking the scene. He addresses these groups, going to each one to check on them as he does. Colin: Laptop crew, what’re we seeing? Steve, any good news? Laptop Steve: We’re currently refreshing several property websites to try and grab lots as they show up. We’ve found a few small ones, but things are starting to disappear a bit too quickly for comfort. Colin: That’s alright for now, keep it up, we’ll take what we can for now. Phone brigade, what’s happening? A young man, who had previously had his head planted on the desk with his hands on his ears as his phone vibrates next to him, looks up sheepishly. Telephone Man: We’ve lost, Colin… U-Haul are offering a 10% student’s discount on storage, we can’t compete with those kinds of savings. The dream’s over. Colin: Oh yes we can! Colin looks into the camera for a moment as the orchestral music turns into cheesy infomercial musak. Colin: Don’t you know that Locke & Key offer all students 30% off on all study-related storage, and offers free storage-space-to-study-space conversions to university bulk-buyers? The orchestral music resumes, and Colin heads over to the map in the centre. Colin: I wish I hadn’t failed Geography. Map people, what’s all this? A woman with dark hair and large glasses carefully adjusts a Monopoly hotel and replies to Colin as she measures the distance between a toy dinosaur and a group of houses, the orchestral music fading out as she explains the situation. Map Woman: We’re trying to track the extents of Archer’s budding storage empire. The dinosaur is where we think it ends at the moment, and those hotels are the lots we’re currently trying to buy. Colin: You’ve put a fence around these lots just outside New York? Map Woman: That’s the area I’m most worried about. Those are the lots that we owned at some point, but have now been bought by Archer. Colin: What? How’s that happening? Map Woman: It turns out that if you have a lot of money in America you can basically do whatever you like. Colin winces and scans the table for a moment before picking up a Monopoly hat piece and placing it next to the fences. Colin: We’ll make it work. So, I’d like to get us over to those lots soon so that we can clear out the abandoned and bought out ones, there might be good stuff in there. If I’m right, I reckon we can- wait, why is there a Darth Vader toy on the map? Map Woman: That’s what we assume to be Archer’s current location. There’s a moment of awkward silence as the two look at each other. Colin: Okay, so if I’m right, I reckon we can grab the stuff, and while I’m doing that, we need to avoid that area, and, in the meantime, find out exactly where his main base is and mark it out. He doesn’t strike me as the sort of guy to sit in one easily accessible place, we can’t assume anything. A few map workers start noting down the instructions and measuring various points on the map. All of a sudden, the telephone man from earlier leaps to his feet excitedly, waving his phone in the air. Telephone Man: Colin! We’re finalising a purchase in New York! Actually in it, prime location! They wanna talk to you to get the details hammered out! The room erupts in applause as Colin dashes over to the telephone man and high-fives him as he grabs the phone and puts it to his ear, a massive grin on his face. Colin: Hello! Yes, it’s Colin Locke, let’s get this deal done, shall we? He presses the loudspeaker button, and holds the phone out to the room. Everyone holds their breath, shaking with excitement. Phone voice: Hi, Colin, it’s good to finally talk to you, let me just read out the final terms of the contract. The man on the phone clears his throat loudly. Phone voice: The new owner of this property has asked that it remains advertised as ‘on sale’ until contact with Locke & Key, particularly with Colin Locke, is made, so that they can be informed directly that may not buy this property, and that they no longer operate in this area. Mr Archer sends his regards. BEEP. The once excited silence turns cold immediately as the man hangs up the phone. Colin’s face drops, and he carefully places the phone on a nearby table, looking utterly dejected as he does so. The people at laptops, phones, and the map are clearly worried, they’re looking at each other in shock, and looking to Colin expectantly as he raises his head to address them. Colin: Right. Colin gulps and takes a deep breath. Colin: We’re finding him. We need to track his main offices down and drop in unannounced, we can’t afford to let him have the upper hand when we first meet. I told him I’ll be having words if he keeps going, and I’m gonna keep my promise. Everyone in the room nod in agreement as the scene fades out.

Colin is sitting opposite a fairly young looking man in a news room/recording studio hybrid; there are several microphones in place, and behind them is an array of Wrestling merchandise with a large sign in the centre that reads ‘WhereCulture Wrestling’. Aaron: Hello! You are watching WhereCulture, I’m Aaron Williams, and with us today, we have a special guest. I believe he’s just flown in this morning, in fact, and we’re really excited to have him with us, OCW’s Colin Locke is gonna answer a few questions and have a talk with us here today! Colin: Thanks for the introduction, Aaron, really happy to be here. Now, to open up discussions, I’ve gotta ask, during a full moon, do you reckon they go out to the club in wolf form, or do you reckon they avoid the moon, and then celebrate not becoming a wolf in person form? At the club, that is? Aaron looks bewildered, but Colin is fully committed to this train of thought. Aaron: I’m not entirely sure what you’re getting at, this is WhereCulture Wrestling? Colin: WereCulture? Aaron: Is this a ‘The Most Recent Blacksmith’ situation? Colin: Maybe. That was a pretty good episode, your guy gave it an ‘Up’, really pleased with that one. Sitting up in his seat a little, Aaron raises an eyebrow, obviously surprised that Colin knows about the channel. Aaron: I didn’t take you for a regular viewer! I know you’ve only recently come into wrestling, having found a contract in a storage lot, I think I’m right about that? Colin: Wasn’t even my contract, it was great. But yeah, I mean, you’ve gotta learn fast, and finding out about this channel early on really helped me revise, get to know what I need to be doing, it’s been a massive help. Aaron: We’ve seen a bit of that on TV, you were working with The Wrestling Club to get some 'real wrestling' moves in your repertoire before your Ambition match with Code Jackman. Colin shrugs and vaguely gestures as if to say ‘Not really’ before replying. Colin: We had that one session where they insulted The Kernel and showed me a rest hold, other than that, I’ve been doing my own thing, it’s worked so far. Basically, I’m hoping to continue the run I’ve been on, as you know, I’ve not been pinned this season, and, yeah, I wanna continue that when I go back to America to face Archer and whoever else they’re gonna throw at me- As Colin talks, Aaron’s smile widens, and he reaches under the desk to retrieve something, which Colin only half-registers as he goes on. As Colin finishes, Aaron holds up a Locke & Key T shirt, and shows it proudly to the camera. Colin: Oh what, I didn’t even realise they were selling those here! Aaron: We’ve got a few Locke & Key supporters here up north, in fact, I don’t know if you’re aware, but your people actually sponsored one of our podcasts, and- Colin: Ah yeah, I remember that, I did that. Really, the Locke & Key crew only prepare the surprises and do the camera crew-y stuff, I’ll always support things going on around here, I mean this is where Locke & Key started before OCW, right? Luckily Archer hasn’t come for the UK yet, so I’ve still got a lot of places here. I’m actually aiming to grab a few lots in Tyne and Wear while I’m about, see if I can help anyone out, disrupt the big guys a little bit. Aaron: Pride Champion with a business empire, that’s definitely a ‘big guy’. Colin: Current Pride Champion. Colin cocks his head to the side for a moment as if he’s about to choose his next few words very carefully. Colin: I mean, as much I’d love a proper bash at it, and I’m in a great position to go for it, I think Archer’s got one person just in front of me in the queue. If he can deal with them, well, then he’s in trouble, right? But until then, I’m reckoning the guy’s gotten too big for his boots. Doesn’t matter who’s gotta do it, he’s gonna lose that thing that holds his trousers up, then I’m gonna take my storage lots back. Aaron listens, but as Colin goes on, Aaron’s attentive smile turns to a slight grimace of concern, which Colin notices. He gives Aaron an inquisitive ’what are you thinking?’ look before giving him a nod, gesturing for Aaron to expand on his expression. Aaron: Well, Archer… He’s a big lad isn’t he? He’s a big guy! And, while you’re mostly a brawler, your coup-de-gras, if you like, is that massive scoop slam. Do you ever worry that against a bigger opponent, you’re gonna just get dominated and not be able to get your slam off against them? Colin: Oh, mate. Colin lets out a laugh, leaning back in his chair. Colin: Oooh, mate. Yeah, that’s a terrifying thought, isn't it? Especially since the guy’s threatened to take out my legs either before or during the match, and, as everyone who’s done a UK health and safety course in manual labour knows, they’re what does the lifting. My best bet, honestly, is to conserve energy, focus on the brawling, as you say, but not try anything silly until I’ve gotta lift him. I’ve got a lot of explosive strength for that kind of stuff, yeah, but I obviously can’t carry and parade him around for ages. If he can cut my legs out of the game, or if he can force me to wear myself out early, oh god yeah, I am done. But, until he does that, I’m still in it. I’ve gotta believe I’m still in it, surely. Aaron: Well, whatever happens, I really hope you can come back afterwards and talk about it with us. Colin: Oh god, yeah. Aaron: I’ve gotta ask though, one last question… Can you say the line? You know, the one that might tell the viewers what to do over the holidays? Immediately understanding, Colin leans into the microphone and beckons for the camera to come closer. Colin: Until the new year, WhereCulture fans, Colin Locke fans, and all other ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between as long as you aren’t Thomas Archer. I want you to keep it under Locke & Key this holiday, take it easy and have a proper rest. Aaron and Colin shake hands and share a few words with each other as the camera fades out, and an advert for something irrelevant threatens to start for everyone not using an Adblocker.

Overall, really great show, loved it. --- Review time --- Dominion are always just a bunch of arseholes, I wanna see them lose, they're great. Looks like they're steering into the rich guys thing, I like it. Tyler and Derek, good call to do a promo together, considering what happens after the Rookie Battle Royale, I do wish the spelling and punctuation was a bit tighter, though. I know that's the nitpickiest-of-nitpicking, but it'd make everything so much smoother and nicer to read. Rookie Rush: Ah man, this was fun as all hell to play. I really like the idea of Wrestling Club not working too well together, hopefully they can play off that idea, it adds a bit of an unpredictable dynamic to things, rather than just being unbreakable wrestling bros. Well done to John for winning, and everyone involved for making a fun and fair match! Lucha Country and the worst tombola of all time, I'm looking forward to the inevitable Christmas dinner promo. This was solid, had some funny moments, the descriptions and similes were great, enjoyed it. Marisa stuff, I'll just group it all together. I'm a bit conflicted on this, it feels more and more like while she's got a clear gimmick, there isn't much of a character there. Maybe the 'She has to cover up, because this is PG' could lead to some interesting moments, but I can't shake the feeling that someone's just wanking themselves blind to this, and that is a strange feeling. They're not a bad writer though, there's stuff to work with, I just wanna see what'd be there if all the softcore stuff absolutely had to be taken away. Danny and Parca: Jesus christ, great kickouts, and that finisher reversal chain towards the end? Nailbiting stuff, great showing from both, and a great win from Parca in the end. He's just gonna eat the entire midcard isn't he? Caleigh, Morgan and Joanna. Creative stuff, I must admit, I have no idea what's going on, so I'm more waiting for a payoff and to see what's next, but the writing is good, it's purple prose-y enough to create an atmosphere and not too purple prose-y to sound ridiculous, which is a challenge in itself. Good stuff. Inception vs Dominion: Man, I really wanted to see KD win a handicap match, the guy just looks larger than life. It's good to see Dominion getting built up, it was a generally fun match with some exciting moments. As said, I would've loved to see KD hold on a bit longer, and I also wish the game could do simultaneous pins, as one of those would've worked nicely, but still, liked it. The Mantis promo. I may be completely off the mark here, but I'm really struggling to imagine a Hurricane-like character looking all moody and talking about giving his life. He's a solid writer, and I like the idea of him projecting loads of shit on people and coming for them (Maybe he could be The Preying Mantis or something), but, I dunno, I wanna see everything line up a bit more as a package. Maybe he's a troubled guy who wears a superhero costume because he wants the fans to like him, maybe he's trying really hard to be a sort of Evil Kermit version of El Parca. I dunno, potential here, just needs tightening. Inception tries to stop Dominion. Yeah, solid story coming along, I do like this character dynamic. I'm probably too new to have decent knowledge of Code Red Harvey, but I'm game for it, let's see. Derek Smith video, I liked the visual effect with him smashing the camera at the end, though I am not convinced by the pitched down vocals, and I'm not sure I got this segment's main theme. I can't fault anyone for trying a voiced promo, though, so respect there. Feels like there's more to come in terms of character development, and he's working towards that, looking forward to seeing what happens next. B17's face lessons. Lesson 29, dodge the guy who beat you in an unsanctioned, no-holds barred Disney singing contest and hope that David Hasselhoff distracts everyone. Nah, good off the walls promo, was that a Mantis guest appearance? I honestly loved this, it's just a light hearted bit of jossling before the big match, feels fresh, better than a 'rargh i haet u' promo. Women's match: New champion, quick win, I love seeing this stuff. This should change the landscape of the women's division and set some new stories in motion, and it was a good little match, too. I wanna see how the story progresses from here, I'll be keeping a close eye on it. Fraser's audition for Father Ted. Good promo, the Colby stuff got my interest early on, nice to see it get built. I love the writing style, wanna see more, good stuff. Flojo listening to her own music and Ashley's lost belt, ace, we're going with the 'fast count' storyline. I like it, Ashley has a nice redemption storyline coming up by the looks of it, and Flojo's looking strong, maybe she can have a bash at the title sometime, she deserves it after that peanuts comeback. Terra's still my favourite thing in the women's division though, the promos are always fantastic. I have no idea how 'Nature good, I will beat you because nature' has been stretched to this many promos, but it's fantastic, the character works, it's the perfect foil to Marisa's antics, but truth be told, I wanna see Terra pushed to the moon, it's just brilliant stuff. B17 vs Sheppard ft. David Hasselhoff Oh shit, B17 in John Cena mode. Can't believe I mistook this guy for a heel at first. Great match to see live on the chat, Sheppard would just not die. He's kept strong, B17 looks like a great champion, can't ask for much more. Colin and the Wrestling Club, always fun to write with these guys, I like how John seems just permanently angry. Pretty chonky promo, but read it, it's a fun time. The guy from Second Sight vs Doc: I had some suspicions how this match would go when I saw the entrance. Jesus christ, though. Comfortable win for Solomon, and I am really interested in Doc's character after this, as coming up to this he had this insane aura around him, and I hope he can keep that up as he goes forward, maybe working towards a world title or something eventually? Not the match I expected, but the sheer shock of it made it my match of the night, awesome stuff. Colby, again, great, I like the writing, I like the story being told, I wanna see the match, it's as simple as that, not got an immense amount to say about it. These guys are building everything really well, let's see where it goes. TY doing face things, I wanna see more of what Spider's doing in this scenario, and I get the feeling that something's gonna happen which takes TY past the 'I wanna put on a fun show' stage. Short and sweet promo that keeps TY in the picture, though, it did what it had to, and I'm sure there's more unfolding soon. Jehst video, brawling happened, something's being established. It's hard to judge this video one way or the other, gotta see what comes next, hopefully this Jehst and Tre thing is a programme in the making, looks like it could get a little heated. What, did DOC die? I hope not, I liked DOC. Mugen vs Rust: Alright, now this is not the match I expected. After all the hype, Mugen got dispatched pretty effectively. Rust's there, looking like one of the Paul brothers just got sorted into Slytherin, Dominion's had a good night, this was definitely a statement. Overall tonight, I do like how the champions reminded everyone of how good they are after losing KOCW, I feel like everyone's in a really good position now, Rust's recovered from his tapout, Parca's kept it together, B17 is looking good, and DOC is dying, and presumably on his way to a local medical facility. It's a really good landscape to go into in the new year, I wanna know if Solomon can hang on to the belt, I wanna see Dominion actually have a dominion over something, Parca's just gonna eat a bunch of midcarders until I get the Parca/Colin match everyone's dreaming about, DOC will hopefully not die, and I think we're at a point where any champion losing their title will be a real shock 'get excited' moment. Again, ace show, glad to be here, and had a lot of fun putting stuff in for this show.

Here there be spoilers --- Seriously --- Okay, that's enough space. --- Marisa's videos (they're connected, so I'll keep my review connected), I think there's a bit of a problem that's maybe rearing its head. I do like the idea of characters having little 'universes', NPCs that you can bring in and develop alongside their character, but that is, if you can handle it. Marisa's actually not doing too badly on this front, CAW designs aside (I have no dog in this fight, I'm shit at CAWs), there is a story of sorts there. I would be tempted to do less of the 'Marisa beats someone up', and work with real people as well as NPCs, we've got a strong women's division coming up, or she could see if anyone wanted to write with her, there are a lot of opportunities that she could really shine in. It'd be a shame if her character gets relegated to 'beats up NPCs', because she can write and make videos, I think it's just time to bring in some variation, that'd be really cool. I reckon there's potential there, just gotta keep it fresh, particularly if you're putting so much stuff forward and showing the ambition that she's showing. - Colin and The Wrestling Club. Tell you what, I love people getting in touch to write with me. I get that my long-arse, descriptive as hell promos is a style that not everyone wants to do, and I never criticise for that, because these guys, to me, feel like video makers who make some effective stuff. I've never put them down as pure writers, if you like. I'll tell you, these guys really brought it, Chris got right into the fun orbit that Colin seems to pull people into, and John plays the part of the aggressive, ultra-wrestling straight man well, but here it was nice to see him with his tongue in his cheek a bit. Really great working with you guys, great character work, and this is a segment I've wanted to do for ages, you read my mind by PMing me about it, keep up the good work. -- Women's tag, I missed this live, so I didn't get the atmosphere, but there was some break-y stuff with the illegal man, I think, we could probably keep that out, but it wasn't enough to impact the match to a huge degree, and respect to the pros for rolling with it and putting on a solid showing. -- Fraser and Colby RP. I love the written Irish accent, it goes between Connor McGregor and Maura from Love Island at light speed, it feels firmly tongue in cheek, and it's just a great little detail that makes me like the character straight away. I wanna see Fraser go full Rabbie Burns with his speech, the accent battle was fantastic, and I'm really interested in Colby's character. Good stuff. -- Wesley vs Fraser. Shit, how's this little Lio Rush sized guy that strong? The guy plays well, some fair credit, and Fraser's as smooth as you can expect from a Parca alt. Solid stuff, good match, I wasn't too sure that the finish warranted a 'bro that was 2' post match thing, but that's a tiny thing. Cool first singles of the show. -- Oh what, is The Mantis English? These two are good writers, great to see more of this stuff, it's a really simple concept you can come up with in a few seconds elaborated well, it's all it needs to be, I hope I get to see where this story goes. -- Morgan and Joanna. This, for me, was a great example of how you do risque or 'edgy', or whatever you wanna call it in a wrestling context. You can interpret Morgan's outburst however you like, nothing's outright said, but the emotions are clear. Joanna's actions comes with just enough flowery writing to sell her as this potential cult recruiter. Nice style, nice idea, looking forward to seeing where it goes. -- The Wrestling Club vs Millionaire Bois. Some good tag-team stuff, I like how committed The Wrestling Club are to their chain wrestling, and these guys are looking smoother all the time. Ty was a well chosen replacement, he and Jerome put on a really good show, loved watching them, will definitely pay more attention to the Millionaire guys. -- Cort's lawyer dealings, this was brave, by nature, stock market dealings are boring as all hell, but I enjoyed this, Cort's get a good personality, Archer's great as a sort of looming villain, and this storyline could easily go somewhere great, well made. -- Tyler vs Colby, now this was a bit of a battle, wasn't it. Really clean competition, feels like it could've gone either way, and I loved that reversal into punch finish, it looked brutal, and I can completely believe that Colby can just deck someone into a three count like that, great move. Some great sequences, exciting throughout, really enjoyed it. -- Man, this promo. Parca with the whiteboard, singing, Mickey Mouse turning up, Archer selling orphans, and there's a Lucha Mobile? This is exactly the sort of mad shit I'm into, however, minutes fifty points for doing a musical episode without OCW's resident classical singer, you guys are going to jail. Good promo. -- Everybody Hates Colby, yeah, I like it. This guy coming back and knocking out some heels will be great when it happens, and it's great to see people committed to giving him something to get revenge for later, I'm looking forward to seeing Colby's OCW rise, should be really satisfying. -- Colin and Code, really had fun in this match. Not gonna lie, being my first PPV appearance, I was a bit nervous and there may have been a bit of slop in that match, but I'm really glad it was received well in the live chat. Love the reaction the scoop slam gets, Code was brilliant to work with and hugely supportive, and I'm looking forward to doing more here, as always. -- More corporate stuff, I'm enjoying this Archer supervillain thing, I'm excited to see it branch out over the shows and suck other people into his schemes. A really nice promo to end on before the main event actually, slow paced, intriguing, and clearly building to something, ace. -- Jehst vs Iceman. The Rookies vs Pro thing this show had going on really added to the atmosphere watching this live, this match was good. Some really good back and forth, was pretty hard for me to call in the moment, and the surprise sunset flip rollup ending added a great bit of variety to the show. The aftermath was great, I'm really glad that the show didn't go overboard on post match stuff on the whole, because it made this special. Closed out the show in a really nice way, enjoyed it.

Not gonna lie, not knowing you or anything about you, I half-expected a bit of an 'OmFgZ oFFenDeD snOwFLAeKz' for my criticisms, so I've got a lot of respect for you for saying that, man, I'll keep an eye on your stuff, hopefully there's been no harm done, but yeah, promo on, making some good shows here.

Was great seeing this live, was a long guy, but a fun time, let's see how it went. Needless to say, here there be spoilers. - Dumbinion, really solid promo, caught my attention immediately and had some funny stuff in there, a nice way to open things up. Generally, the Dominion storyline is some great stuff, I'm looking forward to seeing how it continues to pay off in future. - Colby vs Mercer, nice, I missed this live, but a promising and clean 'big guy' match that didn't overstay its welcome, I like it. - Cort and Jehst, yeah, I like the feeling that these guys are just hanging out and eating while laughing at the TV, this kind of thing works well for them. - Colin vs Blacksmith, had a load of fun recording this, I didn't expect to be beating a wrestler white on TV so early, and was fun hearing everyone get into the match on the viewing party, looking forward to doing future matches and improving my game! - Oh what, Code Jackman's hair is lethally smelly? A good 're-creation' scenario, I'd have said it might've been good to go a bit more Darth Vader with it, but How I Met Your Mother already did that, so moving on. - Solomon Caine promo, voiced, the guy's clearly not a top tier voice actor, but christ, you don't have to be, I'm getting some sort of Sandy Hook Zuckerberg vibe from this, which is a sentence I never thought I'd ever write, but yeah, with some variety of promo formats, lengths, and ideas, this'll be a really good character to keep track of. - Wolves vs KD and Shepard, some good wrestling over here, good combos, nice reversals, it feels like the teams played really well off of each other, another long match, but you can always expect that with a tag, and a solid tag-team ending, yeah, liked this. - If I can’t get to squish a fetus right now then I’ll squish a brain. They’re both one in the same. Look, I need to be blunt about this now, murder and racial abuse are both outright banned here, I imagine/would bloody hope rape is, too. This storyline is firmly not in the 'Snitsky punts a toy baby' category, where we can laugh at the surrealism, and I fundamentally do not believe that any woman after suffering a miscarriage would be talking about smashing other women's 'foetuses'. I don't believe that anyone talks like this, I'm honestly a bit creeped out that a person thought this was a good idea, it's edgy nonsense and I wouldn't be against this storyline being pulled completely. We've got creative and talented people here who can be funny, exciting, inspiring, and entertaining without bringing in controversial topics that could be affecting people here, or potential readers. - On a happier note, Solomon and Code! Code's entrance attire was a bloody sight to see, I loved it, really fun match too. Code's like your big moustache old-school strongman, and Solomon looks near inhuman at his kickouts, like, Jesus Christ. Excited to give Code a fight, and Solomon is gonna look like a monster in future. - Courtroom drama! A silly kind of mid-noughties scenario, Maxx looks suitably snarky, and the whole thing was a refreshing bit of variety, can't complain, keep it up. - Marisa. Again, I really don't like subtitle and cutscene promos, but this one was good. Stuff actually happened in the cutscene, it used the medium well. If this has just been writing, it wouldn't have been as good, so yeah, I'm well up for this kind of thing. - Stacy and Derek. Formatting could be a bit tighter, I try not to nitpick about spelling and formatting, but here, it was just a bit too obvious, but the content was what it needed to be, though, straight and to the point without dragging on. I hope more character eventually comes out, but for now, I feel I know what kind of guy Derek is, and that's something achieved. - Heather vs Alice. I think it's a shame Alice was put in this match, I feel if it was any other female wrestler taking the loss, you could re-record storyline it as a squash, but it was good for her to get a showcase that she can build on as a rookie. Aggressively one sided and could've ended a little earlier, but it's nice to see the women's division getting built on, and I'm up for seeing more of Alice. - Golden and the jobber, yeah, solid. I hope squashing jobbers doesn't become an overused trope here, I feel like it's outdated enough in actual wrestling, but, writing-wise, decent, and doing a ground and pound with a mic in your hand, what a flex, a good moment. - Triple Threat! Ty's my new favourite guy, he's just flying everywhere. Doc's still feeling like a star, B17's a fun time, just a really solid match all around. Would've been even better if it was surrounded by some shorter matches, but still really fun. - Rust, can someone please beat him? He plays an arsehole way too well, I'm getting into this story. - Nate and Golden, maybe this leans on edgy with the weed smoking and swearing, but didn't overstay its welcome and built character, solid. I hope they can translate these characters to the game, that'll be great fun to see. - Jared Leto's wrestling infomercial, I liked the little highlights interspersed with the talking, keeps the thing moving more, and with videos, you've gotta keep it moving. Good stuff. - I really like Terra, eco friendly poison mist? Inject it into my veins. I really hope they can keep it fresh with the promo content, because the actual writing is just so readable and easy to get through. - Quartz and Everett, Quartz looking like some Duke Nukem Terminator thing, awesome stuff. Loved the little count that I assume we'll all be stealing in our matches. Rust in his skintight turtleneck being a bellend, this was just a good time, great match. - Bingo and Ty, interesting stuff, I like the dynamics at play, both characters really come through, really nice stuff. - The Mantis telling us superheroes are real, decent stuff. Felt a bit weird cutting a hero promo against Parca, of all people, I wonder if this character would work better being with Parca and against the others, but, why not, it's good to see who Mantis is as a character in some form, and I'm interested to see how he builds on this, especially now he's been able to establish himself in a main event match a bit more. - Parca and the Southern BBQ, no secret I'm a bit of an El Mark-a since he's been supportive as hell while I've been figuring out how everything works, but this was a good promo, sold the situation as a threat, faced it up, and the title feels really important. Hype. - The match, shitballs, I was on the edge of my seat. Fuckin screaming with everyone when Parca just barely stopped a Mantis pin, my absolute god. You know what, I wasn't hugely convinced by Mantis' inclusion at the start, but I think a wild card like that adds a kind of meta tension to the match, and I got the sense that anything could happen here. Parca did the Parca thing and owned it, which was an awesome feel-good moment, but yeah, match of the night, especially watching live, loved it. -Big Ol brawl, solid promo, KD's sissies thing is great, B17's song made me want to do our singing promo even more, and I'm intrigued by Shepard, nice stuff. - King of OCW, gotta stay, fantastic art, it's great to see things come together like this. I'd love to do a PPV song when my music schedule gets a bit less hectic, but it is awesome to see everyone come together and let stuff like this be made. Can't wait to see who becomes king, and, as my first full season in OCW's coming up, I've just gotta say it's great to be here, I hope I'm not too shit at the game and I'm sort of fun to watch, and I'm looking forward to working with loads of these people that I'm seeing, just solid work, love to see it.

- That Parca match would've been a fun time to open the show, but I do wanna know where this storyline's going, I have a feeling this'll get more interesting in hindsight after the title match this Friday, so solid stuff. - Jehst and Cort segment, this was nice, light hearted, showed the characters a bit and didn't overstay its welcome, I liked it. I do feel like it might be brewing up some tension between the two, but we'll see how they deal with that in future. - Tag Match. At about seven minutes in, one of the guys pays tribute to the best scoop slam in OCW, I always welcome that kind of stuff. As others said, it was fairly slow, methodical, maybe, but I reckon The Wrestling Club will do some really cool stuff when they can properly zero in on their characters in ring, I really wanna see them look like technical masters of strategy, that will be fun to see. - I am not entirely sure how I feel about a dead baby storyline. I missed a few steps in this story, so I can't really comment one way or another if it's being done well, but this promo worked, Stacy's line was funny, and development happened, let's see it play out. - Marisa and the Jobber. I'll be honest, I'm not a massive fan of the 'silent subtitles over a 2k19 cutscene' format, it could've done without the Michael Cole sample, but jesus christ, that cheering was spectacular. It got to the point, I wanna see more of the character, did its job, solid stuff. - KD, now this is a promo format I like, I like the character, it was acted well, I'm getting into the sissy meme and this promo made me want to fight KD, did exactly what it should, ace. - Promo with loads of people. I always like seeing stuff like this happen, develops characters beyond 'rargh I fight you now', and I can immediately tell that I like Everett and hate H20, clear character stuff, love to see it. - Terra, evil heel with an eco twist, interesting stuff. Toed the line between substantial and purple-prose bullshit well, and I hope they keep handling this balance well, it'll serve them in future. - Intergender fight. Evelyn looked good here, I'm wondering how/if she'll fit into the women's division after cleanly being Jordan, if Jordan's got a decent in character power level, and I do reckon Jordan might have some recovering to do, but enjoyable stuff and a good win, I like it. - Pugh getting lost, I love stupid stuff like this. -Franklin, I still maintain that his gimmick has to be that he took a nasty bump in training and dreamt of rising to the top of and falling from grace from a promo his concussed brain invented; WWE. He must reconcile his concussion dream abilities with his real life abilities, this is some Assassin's Creed storytelling right here. Writes itself, thank me later. He clearly worked hard on this, let's make sure it's put to good use. - Multiman promo, Mr 17, easy shot, but well taken and a fun time for all. More character development, let's see where it goes, I'm having a nice introduction to a few characters here. - Female multiman, great first spot. Great entrance theme choices, too. Nice ending, and I think the two wearing matching outfits need a storyline, it'd be a great hook for a rivalry as long as they didn't go too 'stereotypical female rivalry' with it. - Ayy, Locke & Key, I did this. Parca was a great sport when being railroaded through my absurd Storage Hunters Firefly Fun House thing, had lots of fun writing this. - I love the idea of a po faced 'This fed is shit and I am the not shit thing you need' promo coming right after mine, what a mood whiplash. Whenever I see these promos, I really hope the person behind them has some monstrous writing skills so that when they lose, they can have a real character arc that justifies the arrogant first promo. Issue with these promos is that when you lose, if your gimmick is that you're great, you now have no gimmick, and that's a tough spot to be in. But let's see how it plays out, hoping for some good writing coming from here. - The millionaire promo and the Solomon promos were both good connecting segments, short, sweet, and Elliot likes mashed potatoes, hopefully he'll have a PPV entrance to the Bodger and Badger theme at some point. - Title match. Oh christ, this was fun. Doc's theme is top tier, the guy feels important, and Ty got me rooting for him, great work. He looked strong, and lost nothing in defeat, it works so well this match could've been predetermined, it'll serve some good storylines in future. - Flojo and Ashley, nice interaction, I just like interactions happening, it opens up the scope of every story. - The handicap match. I'm gonna be honest with you guys, I'm not sure if there's a meme I'm not in on yet. - Next video promo, I can't actually watch this in the UK. Moving swiftly on. - Weigh in promo, nice, Nate promo, solid, I really wanna see Dominion get their arses kicked and progress this story. - Subtitle cutscene promo, I wanna see what happens if these guys tried to voice these promos. I reckon it'd end in some really memorable moments, but this was still fine, nice development between the two characters, this should end up in a solid match. - DOC Promo. Man. I would really love to write with this guy, this stuff it good. - Pugh vs Ryu, I missed this live, so I can't buy into the sudden death hype like I'd really like to, but good match. I feel like at the end, I could see Ryu's player going 'ah fuck he's in the corner what now', so I felt a bit bad for him, but good stuff overall, I had fun here. - I, er, remain unconvinced about this dead children storyline. I'll give it the benefit of the doubt, I think with some self awareness (which I'm starting to see creep in), it could be solid, but we'll see that as it develops, I'll probably keep with this story and see what happens. - Rust vs KD. Watching this makes me realise how much my guy looks like a pile of fuckin lego bricks in the ring, this stuff's smooth, the awkward moments are kept to a minimum, and the characters are clear, really cool stuff. KD looks great ragdolling Rust around, but the tapout? Christ. I wanna see where these characters go from here. - Ayy, tournament time, that's gonna be exciting. All in all, good show, glad I caught some of it live!

Several OCW officials are gathered in a large white room, some of them tapping their watches and looking slightly irritated. In the middle of the room by the wall is a large scale, and as the camera slowly pans across the room, scanning the generic health-related posters, rolls of measuring tape, and clipboards on various tables, a strange rustling sound becomes louder. OCW Official 1: Mr Locke? The rustling stops and Colin's voice can be heard from off screen. Colin: Yep, I'm coming, give me just a sec... A door opens, and Colin emerges, wearing his usual work boots, white t shirt, jeans, jogging bottoms over the jeans, loose fitting shorts over both of them, boxers awkwardly stretched over the three, knee pads, some leg warmers, a dance belt, a flowery, open button-up shirt over the white t shirt, a powerlifting belt over that shirt, a thin denim jacket, a brown leather jacket, a large green puffy coat over the jackets, some elbow pads over the two jackets and coat, and as Colin stiffly waddles towards the officials, it becomes more apparent that there are dumbbell plates sellotaped to the jacket's shoulders, which seem to function as makeshift shoulderpads. The officials are clearly shocked. Official 2: ... New ring gear? Colin: You know it. Lemme just go on those scales and you can sign me in for the next bunch of shows. Some of the officials vaguely reach out to stop Colin, but it's too late, he's already power waddled to the scales and gotten on them. As he steps onto them, they ping like a carnival 'test your strength' machine. Colin: Oh what, three hundred pounds, I am an absolute unit. In awe of the size of myself. Official 1: Oh god, no. Official 3: I think there are rules against this Colin steps off the scales as triumphantly as someone wearing all the clothes in the world possible can. Official 4: Colin, you're five-foot-ten. Colin: Yep. Official 4: Three hundred pounds means that you're morbidly obese, I can't clear you for that, I don't think anyone will let you wrestle like that. The two stare at each other blankly for a moment. Colin: The, er, only morbid thing about this is all the people who'll get their arse wrecked like they've eaten a vindaloo yesterday when they realise they can't pick me up. Official 3: Phrasing. Colin narrows his eyes slightly as he and the officials stare awkwardly at each other for another moment. He sighs, before conceding; Colin: You want me to take all this off, don't you? The officials all nod, Colin starts to waddle back towards the door, but stops halfway across the room, turning around in a kind of PSone Resident Evil character manner, and looking over to the officials with a mildly embarrassed half-grimace on his face. Colin: I've gotta be honest with you guys, I can't actually bend my legs, have any of you got any good scissors so I can try and get these off? All of the officials sigh. Official 2: Just... We'll keep you at the same weight as before for now, try and come in later, wearing less clothes if possible. Colin: What. Official 3: Phrasing. Official 1: He means 'come in what you'd realistically be wrestling in.' Colin: Yeah, fine, I'll do that. He heads off screen, the officials watching him leave in disbelief as the scene fades out.

WRESTLER NAME: Colin Locke HOMETOWN: Manchester, UK HEIGHT: 5'11 WEIGHT: 210 THEME SONG: Colin Locke Theme (Click here to listen) SIGNATURE MOVES(S): Jumping Clothesline (Jumping Clothesline 2), The Kicker (Step Kick 2) FINISHERS(S): A Big Throw (Scoop Slam 3) Biography: Colin Locke is a 23-year-old storage unit worker, often tasked with opening up abandoned units and preparing the items inside for auction, and, as luck would have it, one unit contained an OCW contract. This inspired the creation of his show 'Locke and Key', in which he shows viewers the insides of lots, giving them ten seconds per show to guess what's inside, and now, as an OCW Worker, he can open up units and broadcast it to a larger audience, potentially finding useful wrestling equipment amongst the random crap. At least, that's the goal, who knows what's in these lots, and what Colin can use to promote his matches and insult his opponents as he learns how to be a wrestler, right?

The camera follows a man as he walks through the hallways of a beaten up, fairly industrial-looking building. He's wearing fairly beaten up casual wear, jogging bottoms with old paint stains, a ripped, faded T shirt that probably once had a mildly impressive brand name on it, and a pair of work boots, which hit the floor with a mighty 'clomp' with each step. The man, Colin Locke, is rubbing his hands together, and lets out an excited giggle, before turning his head towards the camera and beckoning for it to follow him as he breaks into a something that's not quite a jog, but a little more pacey than a walk. Colin Locke: Put your skates on, kid, we've not got all day! Gotta show you this. He soon stops at a door, and turns to the camera. Colin Locke: Alright, we're here. Good afternoon ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between! My name's Colin Locke, and welcome to a new, exciting, and not at all derivative show I call Locke and Key! Over my life I've been a locksmith, a clockmith, and that's pretty much all the jobs I can have with this surname, and I am here today to show you something exciting in this abandoned storage unit. Colin takes a key out of his pocket, and removes the padlock, talking as he does. Colin Locke: Right, while I'm opening this up, people, remember, you can tweet me at @LockeandKey to guess what you think is in there, you've got about 10 seconds because opening a door doesn't take long, so hopefully you've got a really good internet connection. The door swings open with an almighty creak, and Colin enters the lot, turning the lights on. The lights create an impressive show, with multicoloured, spinning spotlights flying across a deceptively large room, dramatic trumpet music playing as the camera pans over to the a podium in the centre of the room. Colin walks up to it, winking at the camera as he takes a piece of paper from the podium. Colin Locke: You guys are gonna love it, I know it, HA HA! With an overdone, Matt Berry style laugh, Colin grabs the piece of paper and waves it at the camera, excitedly. Colin Locke: IT'S AN OCW CONTRACT! Can you believe it, boys and girls? An OCW contract. Now, I don't know a bloody thing about this wrestling business, other than people are paid way too much money to throw other people around. Looks like I've got a few gym sessions to do... But still! Contract. Now, I think that this was meant for someone else, if you look closely... The camera zooms in on the contract. You can see that a name has been scribbled out and replaced with COLIN LOCKE, and at the bottom of the contract, Colin has already signed it. Colin Locke: But, as we always say on this show, finders keepers! OCW, I'll be coming to get paid for throwing people around and opening up storage units near you, it's gonna be fantastic. Everyone who's been watching, we've got some new lots coming up, maybe some will help me on my journey to become a wrestler, maybe some will be worth something, and maybe you can join in on the fun if you can tweet me in ten seconds with no warning whatsoever. Until next time, storage fans, keep it under Locke and Key, I'll see you very soon. The camera pans away as Colin waves, contract still in hand, the words LOCKE & KEY appearing on the screen in an ornate, loopy font, before the scene fades to black.