B-17

More of a character review than rp or match. Where Rusty currently stands makes him far more interesting than he was before. I liked and wish that his run would have gone longer because as this villain that didn’t recognize his own danger from within was entertaining. But since Ant lost his smile the group has really lost direction. Congrats to Danny, but it is nowhere near a threatening group anymore, but that just means the individual members need to evolve. It wouldn’t be fair to claim that Rusty is in a worse spot, but he is in an unexpected spot where I feel sympathetic. H2Green is...an awkward pairing. Seemingly brought on by necessity to create challengers for LC, I can’t say I love it. Doc is a champion, if he wins do we not just have the same issues as before with a character holding two titles? Do our midcards and lowcards truly not understand that we NEED challengers to the tag titles and if you don’t have anything going on then throw your hat in. You’re right Jake, Valk is not a grown woman. Very sad. Still. Terra stop being preachy, just suck it up, buttercup. Oh wait. The monologue makes me dislike her more. Good job. Always good to see a P3 Segment that has a purpose. Emp selling the fuck out of the chamber. I guess if I had to question who would be the best to carry forward I have to say that Emp work ethic suggests she can do it, but the great appeal of Emp is the freedom she has. Thicc Emp is funny and different. The qualities of unappealing are not often explored. Emp is a sandwich away from Thicc to Fat. UAE seems to be dead on their feet. Like, what the hell guys? Are you committing to an idea or not? Congrats to Cort for getting some rub again and I like Jehst without hair. Necessary to freshen up and hey, look, putting something on the line and following through is great! Right Mantis?

So Salami has become completely delusional which is quite enjoyable fun tbh. And for all the dislike I heap onto the Salami character for being random, poorly put together, and nonsensical he gets a lot of love for being random, poorly put together, and nonsensical. I think he might be swinging into his roundhouse with this completely asinine character development. Beating Doc was great and all but the fall back to earth is a long way. Tre’s rp seems quite ok to me. Bit wordy, takes a bit to get to the point, lot’s of putting over. Tre took his shots to the chin, lost, and is dusting himself off. Harvey flew too close to the sun, lost, and is dusting himself off. I don’t really enjoy Tre as a face, or a good guy in any way. He just seems better suited as a man that communicates with grunts, shouts, and 3 inch spears. I have no idea what H20 is doing. Horse=Blacksmith. The guy that used to wear the horsehead and is widely referred to as a horse. But, fair point. Hey look, Blacksmith threw me a curveball last week when he had the crowd cheer for him. It was inconsistent and painted the crowd as fickle. Then I remember that OCW is the crowd and are fickle. I fully expect people to cheer for TLBS at the ppv as it is just kinda of a Cena ting at this point, which I’ve learned to appreciate and like. Him exploring a new avenue, while unexpected, is not at all unpleasant as it has allowed a reaction that has been pleasant to explore. Surreal silence my ass, bury this bitch in an eco friendly trash disposal. Lock her in with her cell phone so that I can see a post and #Valk? Lol, thought she was dead. God I hate this woman, and you all love her. Absentee father? Aries? No. I can’t believe it. I really really really wanted Doc to move up to the big big big shiny belt after losing to Caine, but he destroyed Caine and is now likely to help destroy LC. Seems a slow transition back to old Green and I’m for it. I will manifest my destiny is one of the greatest racist jokes ever told in OCW. I hope that everyone appreciates Holly Hunter saying that...she is Native American right? Also. Not saying this is an EC that SHOULD have happened in the past, but this is a chamber that should have happened in the past. Long overdue. Not having Valk in it is criminal. Good for you Nate and Pugh. And good for Tibby. Last Hoot standing. Spider isn’t standing. Quartz is just using him as a puppet. Hand up the back and all.

Just a character perspective based review. Quartz and Spider seems to be a divisive pairing. Love it or you hate it. I’m in the love category. That is not to say I love both characters but they interact in such a humorous way that it works. What is it that I want from Quartz? I don’t know. Heel, but I don’t hate him. Maybe it is because he beat Rusty and Rusty was killing it as a heel? Now Terra is top Women heel imo. Being positioned against Valk only solidifies that. She is smug in all the right ways. I hate hippies so that helps in the department of dislike. She looks like she smells bad, etc, etc. But what makes her such an effective heel is that she believes what she stands for/doing is right. I spoke with Emp about this, but the Judge does nothing for me. Now I’ve heard people tell me that they like him because he is so different from Salami, but I don’t judge Terra upon the considerations of difference to Quartz. Alts do work, they get love. Judge is just back to doing work and the entire gimmick could be fleshed out more and explored. I don’t claim Jacob Trance. Jamie is terrible at flips. Colin the writer and creative person is solid. Colin the caw is very lacking. Sure I understand his character is new to wrestling but the attire does not lend itself to a visually appealing superstar and the description of Colin does not fit his facial looks. This is a guy with experience in heavy labor yet smooth skin, no wrinkles. No man that works the storage wars does his hair so nicely every day! New Holly is a major improvement from the old Holly. Music doesn’t fit the energy. That has already been discussed. Derek is The Collector, but that rapidly became the messenger. John calling himself a failure should make people like Mantis feel really crappy because Mantis has been here longer and somehow accomplished negative. The dialogue is stiff and comes back to something Dan keeps saying. That isn’t how people talk. You're not having a conversation with your old trainer, you are dropping expositions just for history. Regardless of what some say, we can fill in the details if you give the plot. Reserving judgement on Colby and Fraser. I don’t know what to say or think in regards to them atm. Marissa feels like she is losing the momentum. I don’t think the extra characters are necessary especially because they are not other handlers. Having a stable of all your own characters, regardless if they are not intending to wrestle just seems like a waste of opportunity. I don’t think they should be there to begin with, but they could be more serving a purpose Kass got killed in Fifa and I hate Face Kass. Can’t wait until he is back to punching dicks and running away.

Bingo, you've been here for like 7 years. It's completely wack for you to record in the S15 arena and just say fuck it and not re-record. Be better.

Judge Brown rp - Honestly I have not really cared for the Judge Brown character. I feel like he is like Corn Ricketts, a character good for filling an empty space but shouldn’t be going for anything... But that's just me. As for the rp it wasn’t bad, didn't drag on and a reminder of that judge is around and willing to fight. I don't like the character much either. There just isn't enough there to warrant attention.

I really hope everyone follows through with this concept of Wrex gets one last chance.

I do too. That's a big reason why I was pulling for Mugen or Ty when the match came on. His arc needs to see him beat me.

Sure. But the presentation of looks (while a wrestling norm) is not indicative of personal norms. The masculine fireman who doesn't cry or the dumb blonde are just stereotypes assigned by cultural perception. All that being said. I 100 percent understand what you are saying.

Wrex/B17 rp- Earlier I said I wanted the rp to be about b17 and Wrex so I got what I asked for. It's not more about getting sober but it works. I want to like this rp but, I don’t like seeing sad Wrex. Wrex never came off as a sad, feel sad for me type of guy. I always picture him more as a stone cold i’m kick your ass or get my ass kicked trying to kick your ass type of guy. I get b17 and wrex are friends or pretend to be but I like wrex when he isn’t depressed. But for what it is the rp isn’t bad just not what I want from a guy like Wrex. I can see this from maybe B17 but not Wrex. Wrex has always been a woe is me character. On numerous occasions he has lost a big match and then gotten depressed and drunk over it. He's a loveable loser a guy you just want to win.

IF you care about him. You won't let him fight in anymore death matches.

Wrex: You know, you talk all high and mighty about “not falling to vices” but five months ago you were too hammered to stop that fucking weirdo from stealing the belt. B17 watches Wrex’s hands tremble as they try to hold onto his cards. B17: Uh huh. Remind me the last time you were blackout drunk, what was it, five days ago? Wrex closes his eyes and rocks a bit: About a week ago...What about all the cocaine you do? Bingo rearranges the cards in his hands: You people see what 8 hours of sleep a night can get you, and mistake it for unnatural. It’s coffee, you idiot. Perspiration is beading down Wrex’s face as he declares he will take two and exchanges them out. Wrex looks at his cards and tosses them away angrily: FUCK! He stands up abruptly and causes the plastic card table to topple out of the way. Wrex: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS? Wrex retches, puts hands to knees and throws up on the floor. Wrex: FUCK! Wrex grabs Bingo by the shirt collar and runs him against the wall: Give me a drink! Bingo grabs Wrex by the wrists and knees him in the gut, causing him to double over and vomit again. B17: No. You’re gonna be sober at Chill Faktor. Wrex: NO! I’m gonna be dead, you piece of shit. B17 looks puzzled: I’m the piece of shit? Me? I’m the only fucker who cares about you. What do you think The Pine Graduates care? You think Mugen gives a fuck about you? That bastard makes money off of your suffering. When you leave your blood in the ring, who is collecting and selling? Hm? Oh and Emp, yeah, she has a long track record of caring about people! Wrex stands back up to his feet, uneasily. Wrex: Not all of us fell for that goddamn scheme B! Wrex: And I got people that care. Plenty of them! The fans love me! B17: Where are they? How many in OCW that you call friends lifted a fucking finger to make sure you are ok? How many of them do anything for you but push the next drink into your hands, just so the night can keep going and Wrex can keep paying! Wrex punches B17, but Bingo grabs him and pushes him against the wall. B17: The fans do love you! They will cheer for you because you represent the idea of something far greater than some Scottish prick who likes to drink, fight, and fuck. You represent the idea that no matter how shit the hand is, you can play it your way and overcome it! Wrex: ...My whole career has been nothing but shit cards, this is no different. But when this shit is over I’m going to the bar! Wrex pushes Bingo off. Walking unsteadily back to the seat. Wrex: What day is it? B17: Wednesday. Wrex: ...three more fucking days. Wrex slides down off the chair dropping to the floor. Wrex: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!

Kass has Tiny balls. Zeee end.

Write what you know.

B17: Wrex, just breathe, ok? Wrex: GOD DAAAAMNIT. Wrex continues to smash his way through all the cupboards in the kitchen of Bingo’s cabin. Wrex: Where’s the fucking alcohol? Where is it? I know you’re fucking with me Bingo! I know how you work!! B17 moves forward calmly with his hands raised: I’m serious. There is no booze for close to 20 miles. Wrex rushes and tackles Bingo to the ground. They scuffle and roll around briefly before Wrex disengages and hurls himself through a window. B17: WREX! But Wrex is already up and moving, unfortunately for him, there is nowhere to run to. Everywhere he looks all he sees is barren forest covered in snow. There is a lone dirt road with high snow banks that leads into the driveway of the homely, warm looking cabin he had just sprung from, he sprints for it, but before he can make it too far Bingo (who is in much better cardiovascular health) catches up to him and jogs merrily alongside an already heavily panting Wrex. Bingo is carrying an extra winter jacket. Wrex: Must...Get...A Drink...You...Evil...Bastard. Bingo smiles grimly, sticks his foot out, and watches Wrex trip and fall flat on his face where he stays panting and steaming in the snow. B17: Alright, here is how it is going to be. You want to leave? Be my guest. We are close to 6 miles away from any highway. Bingo checks his phone: It is 12 degrees out here and will be dark in roughly an hour. You don’t know the way, and you are in no condition to make it. Here is a jacket, good luck. Bingo tosses the winter jacket to Wrex and begins to trudge back to the cabin with the cameraman shivering behind him. Wrex stares wistfully at the winding road, but knows the truth in Bingo’s words. He turns and starts walking back. Wrex: I take back what I said. I fucking hate you.

Starts to make you wonder if sparks needs B or if B needs sparks.

Disclaimer: The following segment is overly produced cinematic nonsense. It also contains a text version of a wrestling match. A run down ranch comes into view, outside some sickly cattle mill around as in the distance dust can be seen rising above the road. A rumbling grows as slowly but surely a vehicle begins to approach the ranch. It grows closer and closer, at the wheel is none other than Big Country, Mark Reese. In the passenger side is his best friend, El Parca, in the back of the truck is an absolute feast that’s fit for a king . The radio is playing 80’s cult hit Call Me by Blondie. The camera changes to inside the ranch, joining the Hattons as they seem to be preparing for their visitors. Chase peaks through the shutters as the truck pulls up outside with a squeal of the brakes. Chase: Them boys are here. Graham nods, spitting a slurry of saliva and chewing tobacco onto the floor. Graham: Let’s get to work. We go back outside as El Parca and Reese go to exit their truck, legs dangling a little due to the sheer size of the truck. Inside, the Hattons begin to take up positions, one going upstairs as the car doors can be heard slamming shut. Reese: See little buddy? This car is bigger than a pregnant elephant. Parca: It really is very big, big country. But I told you before, I didn’t mean to get a Ford Ka I said a Ford Car! The door to the ranch opens, complete with a dramatic overture of music by Hans Zimmer as Graham walks out onto the porch to confront Lucha Country. Graham: Boys. I told you. This ain’t no dinner time. This is gonna be a rodeo. We ain’t sayin thanks, we ain’t grace, you ain’t eatin at our table. You ain’t ma boys. Them ma boys. VROOOM. VROOM. VROOM. Flying up the driveway five Harleys come kicking gravel. The boys on them are hootin and hollerin as they circle the truck. Watching from above, Chase kicks his feet up on the window ledge. As the hogs turn off, the thugs dismount, and Lucha Country looks unnerved by the situation. Reese: YOU SAID WE WERE GONNA EAT! Graham: No, I said we would eat your lunch, boy. Best turn away. El Parca: I told you they didn’t want anything to do with us. You said it was the Christian way but these jerks don’t like Christmas! Reese: I came here to celebrate Christmas! Without warning, Reese charges the biggest, fattest biker. Reese barrels over the poor guy with a grunt. They both tumble to the dirt entangled as the other four immediately rush Parca, raining down punches, Parca is overwhelmed by the onslaught and begins retreating back to the truck. The camera switches back to Chase watching the carnage from above. Graham has joined him. Chase: Whatcha thinkin? Graham: Boys might buy us five minutes...I will get the housewarming gifts ready. As the brawl continues, Reese picks up one of the motorcycles and throws it at three of Lucha Country’s adversaries, permanently incapacitating them as they land flat on their backs, pinned to the ground by the heavy Harley. Back at the truck, one of the goons attempts to slam Parca’s head into the hood, he blocks it with his foot and digs the goon in the ribs, creating distance. In an acrobatic effort he leaps onto the truck and dispatches the henchman and his friend who came running over with a beautiful, open armed moonsault. He staggers to his feet, kicking the dust off of his boots as a crane looms in the background. Reese comes over smacking his buddy on the back who turns around ready for a fight. Reese throws his hands up. Reese: Woah there little buddy! You’re crosser than an armadillo at Christmas! It’s your buddy! Parca calms, the pair sweating despite the cold sun of winter. Before the duo can fully recover the door swings open once again, this time those crazy Hattons burst out wielding chainsaws like something out of a horror movie. Graham: Imma carve me a ham. Graham advances on Reese, revving the chainsaw and swinging it back and forth. Reese does the only sane thing he can do and begins to retreat, Graham chasing him to another section of the Scumchester Ranch. Chase: Stop runnin’ boy! Gonna crack your innards open like one of them fifty kids of yours pinatas. Parca: They have chainsaws.. REALLY? WE JUST HAD TO COME HERE HUH MARK?! Parca quickly starts to run behind Chase as he chop-blocks Chase, cutting the big man down as the chainsaw gets inches away from Parca’s face. Parca: Oh my fuck. Parca rolls away from Chase as he frantically screams out for his best friend. Parca: MARK, MARK!!!!!! THROW ME RIGHT NOW DO THE THING DO THE THING!!! Chase: Goddammit boy! What’d my legs ever do to you. Chase drags himself back to his knees, grabbing his chainsaw. Before he can reach it a flying Parca smashes into him, having been launched by Reese’s mighty arms. Parca swiftly dispatches the chainsaw, as Graham returns, slinging his own weapon to the ground as it sputters dead. Parca: See! I told you it would work Big Country! Their moment of victory is short lived as Graham barrels into both men, using his massive shoulders to knock Parca to the ground and Reese rolling backwards. Parca kips up but is immediately met with a fist that sends him back down. Reese comes charging in, but Graham lowers his torso and propels Reese high over him, letting gravity bring the big man down. Graham rushes over to Chase and pulls him up. Graham: Up, boy. Stage two, brother. Together, Graham helps Chase limp along, they make their way into the barn. Parca: Now.. I WAS gonna save this for the climax [Parca looks directly into the camera as a smirk can be seen behind the mask.] But, that kinda pissed me off. Parca, without missing a beat, does a double backflip as he regroups with Mark Reese. As the two best friends stand side by side intense anime battle music can be heard. Parca, somehow, pulls out a katana literally out of thin air just like in anime shows. Parca: Oh yea, it’s go time big guy. Reese just blinks. Reese: I don’t think we should be tryin’ to kill anyone little buddy, we’re the good guys. Parca: Kill anyone? No! It’s for pizzazz. Standing in the doorway of the barn. The Hattons taunt their opposition. Chase: Who brings weapons with the intent of not usin em? I don’t understand your kind! Parca: My kind? Graham: Yeah! M word! Parca: M word!? Graham: Masked! All hell erupts. Parca screeches as he charges. Exactly what the Hattons wanted. Reese, still recovering, is a step slow and watches helplessly as Parca leaps, misses, and disappears behind an elevated platform. Unknown to Parca. The Hattons had laid a trap. And into the cage he had fallen with a clang. Parca: YOU MONSTERS! You think you’re real funny huh!? Chase: Damn straight! Perfect little box to ship your deadbeat ass back to Tiwana. Suddenly, Reese lets out a bellow and charges, spearing both brothers through the wall of the barn, plunging out of view. A long time goes by, the audience and Parca fearing the worst. With a grunt, Mark Reese heaves wooden boards off of his body like a country version of the Hulk. He wins the battle with gravity and staggers to save his little buddy. As we come to a close the pair can be seen from behind walking towards their beaten up truck, the camera however begins to zoom out, slowly re-entering a room within the ranch. Left in view of the camera are two hands holding cigars, tattooed hands. ???: If you want something right… You need to do it yourself.

I blew a whole load of smoke about him, saying he's mad, he's unstable, all that sort...and I've regretted it ever since AGAIN!!!??

B17 Looks around for Rookies! And notices he is in the wrong room in the wrong building... B17: Dammit! His pager begins to beep (Yes B17 is still one of the few people left in this world with a pager) B17: OHHH The Message Reads: 51557 B17: Oh............

Even your thumb won't sell.

Blaine: It’s fucking Thanksgiving, my family is in the other room. Why the fuck are you even working today? Don’t have the balls to tell JCS that you don’t want to work today? … Blaine: I don’t fucking care what he said. No. … Blaine: No. … Blaine: No. … Blaine: No, I have a broken fucking leg! What you don’t remember? The same damn- … Blaine: No the same damn one that I won Queen of OCW on! The one that I have been asking for over a year for time off for! … Blaine: The doctor is an idiot. He’s just some fucking guy that Jake Allen found drunk in the street! Slap a hat on him and Tiberius Dupree starts calling him Doc! … Blaine: Stop saying numbers! It’s not about the- … Blaine: Stop saying you will pay me! … Blaine: Wait, how much? … Blaine: Are you serious? … Blaine: Add another zero to the end of that. … Blaine: Oh shit. That would make me the highest paid... … Blaine: Fuck it, I will buy another leg. When do you need me?

Graham Hatton: Whatcha boys doin’ here? Cameraman: Uh, we were asked to by management. Check in on OCW wrestlers over the holidays. Check in on them. Make sure...um that they are, you know, seeing what they do for the holidays? Graham: Ah, right. Come in! Look, we got some gator on the grill. Graham turns around and disappears through the door. The camera man turns to his partner: Document as evidence number 1, see that truck out there? I think it was stolen. Inspector: Why do you say that? Cameraman: It says ABC on the side. Chase: Come in boys! Momma got a gator on the grill! The cameraman pushes through cautiously. Inspector: Oh my god. Scampering through the hallway back towards the door Graham and Chase came running back. Graham: Gator off the grill! Gator off the grill! Chase: Run, boys! GRRRRRRRR Graham: That boy pissed! Get the net! Not waiting to see what happens next the men leave, obviously feeling they have enough information.

I'm not being negative, just pointing out that I have the next man up mentality and with so many titles we are creating choke points for momentum.

Doesn't that kinda prove the point?

I feel like the only one that didn't enjoy the ME. If the only place a person looks good is within chaos, and that is marred by fpr breaks and just general foolishness, why are we not insisting this person improves?