TJ Stevens

OCW is OCW

Do not use logic. Instead use a push to page 2.

Undefeated club boysies

The future is now, old man.

The screen comes alive, showing the smouldering remains of Blaines now long forgotten bar. Amongst the rubble homeless people can be seen looking for items of value as slowly a voiceover fades in. Voiceover: The Roadhouse… I bet you all forgot about it, now nothing more than an eyesore and breeding ground for crime, drug use, and poor people… But what if… The camera zooms out a little. Voiceover: What if there were a man great enough. A man of such International renown that he could revitalise the area… That he could make this land great again… A sparkle effect begins to build over the rubble, trash and even the homeless people. Voiceover: Rebuild… The rubble vanishes, replaced by a building of glass and steel, it’s a bar, but it is well let, clean. Lights dazzle into the night sky, proclaiming it to be open. Voiceover: Renew… This time the sparkles around the homeless people flare up, replacing them with a phone booth, an ATM and a street sign. Voiceover: What if all of this could be possible, whilst keeping the charm? The new bar dazzles even more, a sign appears above the door “The Ground Floor.” Next to it appears a small grassy area with a cardboard box, except it’s sheltered, an aluminium covering protecting it from the elements. A sign appears, “the Box of Jack.” Voiceover: All of this and more can be yours, presenting a new way of life, Entitled Parks. Brought to you by Thomas Jefferson Archer… A true International Icon. The brief commercial comes to and end showing an odd CGI caricature that looks faintly like Solomon Caine if his mother had mated with a goblin being thrown into a trash compactor by a smiling Thomas Archer, who turns and gives the viewer a big thumbs up.

The final category popped me huge Spidey... Dummyian doesn't even make it into the Utried.

This is child abuse

You're a kind soul Gooch

People go about their business on the busy streets of Boston, scurrying to work, to diners, to stores. The city is alive and vibrant with hundreds of thousand souls simply going about their ritual of existence. The camera moves through the bustle, almost seamlessly, occasionally getting jostled. The picture finder catches a glimpse of black and red hair taking a sidestep into an alleyway, an odd sound being picked up, rattling, but not quite. The cameraman ducks into the alleyway and the noise grows stronger. It’s getting closer now, a woman walking towards the camera, a bottle in her right hand being ran up and down metal railings. It’s Aerith. Aerith: My friends are degenerates… But I’d never change them… She clangs the bottle, cracking it slightly. Aerith:Liars, cheats and hypocrites… Not the type for saving… Another clang. Aerith: All the truth you try omit… Well when you finally wake up and realise you’re the degenerate… Aerith suddenly smashes the bottle into the fence, glass shattering. Her fist clenches, blood dripping through her fingers. She almost seems not to notice, wiping her forehead, smearing it with blood. Aerith: It’s going to hurt like a brick… But don’t worry, I’ll be there to look after you, to visit you in bed… It’ll be like you’re not gone, like you’re not dead. Remember, memory, memory… Remember things… Aerith begins to look around, agitated, she moves her hair off of her ear, covering half of her face. Aerith: Like birthdays. Like friendships. Pacts… Pacts forever… Friendships are only temporary, you only keep them as long as it suits… The real you, the real you that is the key. That’s… That’s what needs to be shown, for everyone to see. Eyes… Open eyes… Open wide. Aerith looks around before framing her eye using her index finger and thumb as if they were a monocle. Aerith: See. I see. You all will see. All worlds, other worlds, this world. This Terra… Terrafirma. The not friend. Friend. Who knows, am I right? Aerith's babbling descends into nothing more than a giggle. Aerith: September. Forget. Remember. September to Remember… Her voice becomes deadly serious, the tone darker. Aerith: We’ll see the real you, the one you hide with your mask… A mask I will make you break with your own lack of will… The clock… It's ticking. Ticking so loud in my head... I hope you can hear it too Terra.

Trance.

You lied about more than batteries. For a long time I hoped you'd get back here because of your work load, I respect that, and whilst I expected everything you say to be under scrutiny from the start I didn't expect you to already have lied to Jake. I love that guy, and you've already taken a massive shit on his trust. He's the most enthusiastic OCW guy of all time and here you are, getting on his bad side from match one.

The scene opens within a dimly lit, vast room. There appears to be something of a stage with an office chair on it, the back turned and presumably it's occupant. Oddly, to the right of it, fully illuminated stands Nick Betamax. Lower down, ten feet from the chair are four slumped and seated figures on chairs, their identities masked by the poor lighting. Suddenly, with a loud metallic thunk four spotlights are charged, revealing the four individuals as Joshua Tucker, Benjamin Moore, Damian Bourne and TY Sparks. They are bound and gagged, and as they slowly come to become more and more alarmed. Struggling against their bonds. ???: Ah yes, the peasants have awoken. You're probably wondering why I have invited you here. The chair spins slowly, revealing none other than Thomas Archer. In his hands he cradles B-17’s fabled wig, last seen in the possession of the nefarious Code Jackman. A free hand strokes it as if it was a giant cat. Archer: You see… You four have been chosen. What for you ask? The Thomas Archer Academy of Affluency. Over the course of a few weeks I shall be evaluating each of you on various aspects of being an OCW superstar, setting personal challenges and overall, most importantly, deciding who will be worthy to take on the International Icon. Damian makes some muffled noises and Archer rolls his eyes. Archer: Nicholas Maximus was my inheritance for banishing Bray to the shadow realm he spoke about so often from Pokemon. Oh… Nicholas, do the honours… Nick steps off of the stage and removes the restraints from each man one by one before returning to the stage. Thankfully for Archer the four gentlemen are still slightly drugged so cannot complain too much. Archer: Now, if you look below your chairs you will find your first challenge, an introductory card. Of course, if you are not hungry, ambitious or thirsty for success you can leave and forfeit a potential title shot. No one moves. Archer: As I suspected! You may reach under and remove your cards now. Archer claps and the four exchange awkward glances before doing as asked. Damian looks at his first. Damian: What is this ga- He gets cut off by a disgustingly obnoxious air horn blast from a hidden PA system. Damian: Is that ho- HOOOOOOOOOONK. Archer: The card please Damian. Damian grumbles and grits his teeth, reading it aloud. Damian: My name is Damian Bourne and I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and... I like to kiss my own butt. How does this prove any- HOOOOOOOOOONK. Archer: Next! The three remaining men look at each other nervously before Benjamin Moore clears his throat. Moore: Believe it or not, I, Benjamin Moore, was going to be a Winter Olympian and aid the 1988 Jamaican Bobsleigh team but they realised I sucked and the movie Cool… No, not finishing this. This entire thing is stupid. HOOOOOOOOOONK. Moore: You can- HOOOOOOOOOONK. Moore: Honk at me one- HOOOOOOOOOONK. Moore: Y- HOOOOOOOOOONK. HOOOOOOOOOONK. HOOOOOOOOOONK. Moore: GOD DAMN IT STOP THAT! OKAY! The movie Cool Runnings is actually about my friends all abandoning me because I was a colossal loser. Are you happy now? Archer looks at this fingernails. Archer: Delighted. Next, please! Also, Nicholas… “Nicholas Maximus” approaches Archer and tilts his ear as his new boss whispers a command. Nick simply nods and disappears off camera as TY Sparks raises his hands. Archer: Yes, fun sized man? Sparks: Can I go next and get this over with? Archer: Of course! Sparks: I am TY Sparks and I am a Hobbit. Archer begins to cackle and slaps his leg, minutes pass as he laughs at his own terrible joke before finally he calms down, wiping tears from his eyes. Eventually he looks to Joshua Tucker, who lifts his card and just drops it to the floor. JT: I'm so irrelevant that even I don't know my name. Archer claps, as Nicholas returns holding a tray, on it are a few round objects. Archer: Splendid! I'll be in touch! Deploy the escape device Nicholas! Nicholas slams the tray into the ground, the spheres bursting and engulfing the stage in smoke. A few mechanical noises can be heard in the background and once the smoke dissipates the warehouse lights up properly, Archer and Nicholas gone. The four men rise from their chairs, rubbing their wrists before shuffling towards the exit without a word, or at least for the most part. Damian: So… Police? Sparks: I think if you did that you'd wind up in jail instead somehow… Damian sighs and walks out into the outside world as the scene fades.

Someone annotate please

Pre-cursor: http://www.ocwfed.com/forum/showthread.php?23986-The-Morning-After -------------------------------------------- We rejoin Aerith now walking the streets, her eyes flick upward every now and again from her phone as she makes her way through the crowded city, conscious of walking into anyone. Inside her own head she's having a conversation with herself. Look. You're being immature. It's all going to be a misunderstanding. You'll see when you get there, it won't be what you think. She carries on for a few blocks. Although it sure looks like they've put some distance into this… Nah, it'll be some sort of official meeting or something I wasn't told about because I'm not on the roster full time, yeah, it'll be that. Definitely. She turns left, a suburban park up in the distance. She glances up and down from her phone. Yeah, gotta be a photo shoot when they're in a lovely place like this in the afternoon sun, perfect lighting, great weather. That's what it is. Impatiently she waits at the crosswalk, pushing the button repetitively, an old lady looks over with a suspicious look on her face which receives a smile, externally. Why are the elderly so judgy? Ugh. Stupid old… No, no. Don't be like that, that's not you, it's the anxiety. She's just going on her own thought process, you don't know her and chances are you'll never see her again… Or you could push her into the road. Wait. No. Green man, time to cross. A beeping noise joins the colour change, indicating to the blind that it's safe. The waiting crowd cross as a herd, Aerith now slowing up on the borders of the green land, the hedge wall towering high above her. A nervous glance towards her phone causes her to bite her lip. Of course the entrance would be completely round the other side. Why wouldn't it? Stupid mega cities and their stupid amount of things and distances between the things. My feet hurt and I'm not even there yet. Ugh! Her journey continues, for the most part the hedge wall is impenetrable and in immaculate condition but every now and again there are little gap with what looks like a heavy chain link fence behind them. Aerith stops to peer in before a broad smile spreads across her face. Oh my god it's a zoo! I haven't been to a zoo in so long! Maybe they left a ticket for me as a surprise for it being my birthday soon, I mean their phones are all broadcasting their locations and oh my god this is going to be fun. I can't believe they'd do this for me! With more spring in her step she begins to move through the crowd at a quicker pace. The wide smile never leaving her face. This is going to be great! The camera pans backwards and upwards, becoming an aerial shot focused on Aerith as she approaches the entrance and waits in line for the ticket office. As we fade out the last thing we hear is the cry of a preening peacock somewhere within the complex.

"The Anime Peasant shall be dealt with accordingly, the only new star here should be one that's used to five star living and not cartoons for five year olds." - Thomas Archer, addressing internet opinion

*gooch noises intensify*

Finished reading the show, a lot of interesting things going on. I like the unity between the women, even if some of them don't like each other they all have a common enemy in Blaine.

If he can stop insulting America Bray could wind up a decent babbyface

Simply a vanity project, and we seen the mindset of the last person that wanted it to happen...

I think you'll find he can be a fan of it all the same.

Best at page 2

Page one blows

Page one is lame

Why don't you like cripples?

I just woke up