Riot 7-13-2011

[Dale Ernsmore]

"OCW is at its highest point" two minutes later "What are your stock options, OCW is at its lowest point" Yup makes sense.

[Useless Dane Xavier]

"OCW is at its highest point" two minutes later "What are your stock options, OCW is at its lowest point" Yup makes sense.

 

"...but when was the last time you actually stayed and watched Riot? week ago, 2 weeks ago, a month ago, 4 months 6 months."

 

Sure does make sense.

[Heaton]

Man, I hope some gay shit isn't about to go down.

[Aries]

"OCW is at its highest point" two minutes later "What are your stock options, OCW is at its lowest point" Yup makes sense.

 

 

"...but when was the last time you actually stayed and watched Riot? week ago, 2 weeks ago, a month ago, 4 months 6 months."

 

Sure does make sense.

 

 

 

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Son of a....!!

 

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Here we go again...

 

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Let's get this over with. Roberto Fearo! Thanatos! If you would please....state your ever so witty cases to the court so that we may get this nonsensical irrelevant spittle over with!

 

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I'm going to regret this...

 

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JUDGE'S THOUGHTS *I hope I didn't leave the oven on...*

 

 

[Robert Fearo]

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The defence is ready your honour.

[Thanatos]

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THE PROSECUTION IS READY, YOUR HONOR.

[Aries]

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Whatever. We are here today to review the case of Dane Maximillian Pegasus Eggert Darius Xavier III versus Dale Definitelydoesn'ternsmore Finale.

 

 

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We are going to begin with the opening statements. Prosecution...what is your take on all this...shtick?

[Thanatos]

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DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO GIVE CREDENCE TO THE STATEMENT UTTERED BY ONE DUDE, AS SUCH:

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...but when was the last time you actually stayed and watched Riot? week ago, 2 weeks ago, a month ago, 4 months 6 months.

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...YADDA YADDA, ANYWAY, WE'RE HERE TO PROVE THAT ONE DALE ERNSMORE, AKA JUSTIN TIME, AKA VAL FINALE, LAWRENCE HUGHES...DID WE MISS ANYONE? YEAH, SO, WE'RE PROVING THAT HE'S A SHOW SKIPPING FAGGOT.

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BEING AN AWESOME PROSECUTIONIST, SHOULDN'T BE TOO HARD - ON TOP OF BEING THE BEST PROSECUTIONIST THIS SIDE OF THE NILE RIVER, THE DEFENDANT IN QUESTION IS, IN FACT, A JEW.

man this is some gay shit

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THUS ENDS THE PROSECUTION'S OPENING STATEMENT.

[Aries]

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Fantastic. Defense...your opening statement...please..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Wait! The Defendant is a Jew?! My God! There hasn't been a Jew in my courtroom since the old Racket Ball incident back in 1969! This is going to be interesting!

 

 

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Ahhh, I was such a young Judge back in those days...

 

 

FLASHBACK!

 

 

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DAMN THESE BLACKS AND VIETNAMESE RUINING OUR CONVENIENCE STORES!!!

 

 

FLASHBACK OVER!

 

 

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Wait...wrong case! Never mind! Proceed Defense...

 

 

[Robert Fearo]

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"Thank you your honour. Ladies and gentlemen of the OCW Forum, my client Mr. err ... (CRAP what was it, Finale, Ernsmore, Hughes?!) Finughesmore (works for me) has been thrown in this court room on the ground that he did in fact NOT watch this week's taping's of the Riot television broadcast. I am here to set the record straight and say that my client is innocent and here's why."

 

 

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"In my hand I hold proof that Mr. Finughesmore was in fact present when the show was broadcast, these papers show who was in attendance on the evening in question and third down on the list is in fact Mr. Finughesmore. Thus proving that he was in fact present at the time the show aired."

 

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"The defence ends it's opening statement."

(Now THAT was awesome, I think it's time for a silent celebration, Alice Cooper style!)

 

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