Escape from the Movie Verse

[B-17]

Scene opens during the movie “Indiana Jones Temple of Doom” where B17 is playing Indiana Jones. Having not fully remembered every direct scene from “Temple of Doom” Dr. Bingo finds himself off script and making mistakes. Face to face with the evil Mola Ram.

Short Round: Dr. Bingo cover your heart!

 

B17’s hands shoot to his his penis.

Short Round: No, Dr. Bingo your other heart!

 

Chants in the background: Kali Jae! Kali Jae! Kali Jae!

 

B17: NO! Kali Mugen, Kali Mugen, Kali Mugen!

 

Mola Ram reaches for Bingo’s heart, but at the last moment B17 grabs his wrist: BINGO PUNCH.

 

B17 smashes his massive forehead into the face of Mola Ram. Mola’s hand covers his nose with a scream. B17 takes advantage of Mola’s distraction and punches his hard in the face. Having met Arnold and Sylvester during his travels the Bingo Punch is now powered by HUGE muscles and leaves Mola unconscious as he tumbles off the rope bridge.

B17: Never tell me the odds!

 

Short Round: Huh?

 

The room goes black.

B17: Short Round! I’m Blind!

 

Computer Voice: I’m sorry, but the Invictus Virtual Reality Simulator has low batteries. Please recharge using your OCW Power Up Rewards Card.

 

B17 finds himself on camera sitting in a chair with a full headset on him. He reaches up

and removes the helmet. His eyes are assaulted by the bright light of the morning day. A single piece of paper is taped to the headset. It reads: Always keep at full charge, reboot if he wakes up. No further questions. Do as I say. Signed Code Jackman.

 

Still dazed, B17 doesn’t notice the many people moving around him. He’s naked and, if his eyes are to be trusted, far atop the Empire State Building.

The buzz of the crowd silences immediately as he looks at them. They are an odd assortment of characters. Men and women alike. Colors galore assault his eyes all over again. The fat, young, old are all represented. Black, white, and mohicans are seen. One of them stumbles forward.

B Community Representative: Mr. Bingo, sir? Are you back?

 

B17: Where had I been?

 

BCR: You’ve been trapped in that virtual reality machine for months! We couldn’t free you from it, but we protected you. You’ve been many places and you seemed not to notice things such as traffic! You walked blindly, but we guided you the best we could! We fed you when you slept. I gotta say, when you were on your Terminator kick with Arnold...you worked out a lot...The poor lady didn’t know what to do when you were curling her. But damn! You looking sexy!

 

B17 looked down at his bulging biceps: Holy fack!

 

B17: Wait, wait, wait. How? What? Who? When? Why?

 

BCR: Code Jackman trapped you in there!

 

B17: Why didn’t Mugen rescue me?

 

BCR: DRAGO MIGHT HAVE KILLED HIM!

 

B17: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

 

BCR: But you can avenge him!

 

B17: Hey...let’s see how it plays out first.

 

B17 touches his head, feeling it wigless he drops like a sack of potatoes to the ground: I’m paralyzed!

 

But Bingo becomes entranced by his bicep muscles….

B17: You know what, no I’m not.

 

B17 pops back up to his feet: Hm...power levels still feel a little low. Where is the wig?

 

BCR: Code Jackman has it!

 

B17: How did he get it?

 

BCR: Our sources suggest Archer sold it to him.

 

B17 throws his arms out and screams to the heavens: ARCHER! FETCH ME MY RING GEAR!

 

BCR: We’ve prepared just the thing.

[Jacob Trance]

Somewhere in the arena for Wrestlers Unknowns Rumblegrounds we re-open, a large, executive style, finest of Italian leather chairs is facing a massive television. Whoever it is continues to watch a very strange version of a classic movie. On the desk at their back is a container, but it is covered up with a cloth.

 

B17 pops back up to his feet: Hm...power levels still feel a little low. Where is the wig?

 

BCR: Code Jackman has it!

 

B17: How did he get it?

 

BCR: Our sources suggest Archer sold it to him.

 

B17 throws his arms out and screams to the heavens: ARCHER! FETCH ME MY RING GEAR!

 

BCR: We’ve prepared just the thing.

 

At that, the screen turns off, and the chair swivels round, revealing the man in question, Thomas Archer. He clasps his hands and rests them on the desk.

 

Archer: Ahh, wrestling fans... I've been expecting you.

 

He takes a glance towards the covered container.

 

Archer: I imagine you're wondering what's under here, so I'm going to tell you in a very boring and roundabout villainous fashion. You see, it's correct, I sold Code Jackman a wig, a wig that B-17 wants back. A wig that we at 0.5% industries believe might hold the secret to his power and 80's devolution. However...

 

Archer reaches over and whips off the cloth, revealing a wig, floating in a strange medical solution within the jar. Some electrodes are connected to it, and every now and again it glows.

 

Archer: He was sold a fake, and the money has already been used to pay a homeless man to set his box on fire. So what you see here... Is the Sampson Experiment... We will find out what makes it tick, you can see that somehow... It's alive... It has a mind of its own and we must find out how and why. Tonight, I'll extract joy from B-17 in the form of pain, and then... We'll stream it directly into his hair to see how it effects it.

 

A telephone rings and Archer opens a drawer, lifting the phone to his ear, cutting the feed before we can hear what is going on.

[B-17]

My god. You've become a Bond Villian

[Cort Marshall]

This is stupid but I'm invested.

[Justin Jehst]

My god. You've become a Bond Villian

 

It's fuckin perfect, it suits the money gimmick too.

[Code Jackman]

Backstage of Wrestlers Unknowns Rumblegrounds Code Jackman is getting ready for the rumble. He turns the TV on to watch Thomas Archer match and notices his opponent.

 

Code Jackman: Oh god. No, this can't be. How is he? What is he? No!

 

Jackman reaches for the wig out of his backpack pulls it out and notices a tag that is read "Made From Mexico"

 

Code Jackman: No! No! No! No! No!

 

Jackman begins to panic: How did that headset fail? I was told it would last for more than 10 years.

 

Jackman grows angry and grabs the TV remote and throws it at the tv and mini explosion happened.