Riot 513

[Bloom]

Hell of a show ! Very good segments and RPs, plus we had beautiful matches. Great start to the season !

 

Some matches a bit too long for riot. Might start being a role bandit and having ppl cut 2 4 mins from non me matches.

[Quartz]

I am no Jehst/Morrison, but I am just jacked to be back on the weekly grind. Here you go!

 

- Early show dominated by Uncrowned vs Tayy/Aisu storylines. I always appreciate when people go into shows and RP for their matches. It makes the match itself feel more important and even though I was a part of it/knew the result, watching it back made the match more enjoyable. The ole' Brits do a great job referencing back on Tayy and Doc's two previous matches, making the booking feel more organic as well.

 

MATCH: Taigamasuku vs Brody Braddock

 

12 minutes, only 6 if you watch matches on x2 speed like I do. Not bad at all. Not sure about all the jump-cuts, probably a way to get rid of the dead space where they were overselling/taking too long to reset. I like seeing DM's posted on the card, because that means the rookie did a good enough job being booked. I think Braddock's mechanics looked good, potential for sure - Although... REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE on using my grandpappies moves. I understand he's been made aware of that though, so it's all good.

 

- P.S. Stop trying to distract the ref so you can hit the rookie in the dick, Taiga!! Good debut. Wish it would have come with an RP so I could learn more about Braddock, though.

 

- Without offering critique of my own work, I remember Cort's review of Anniversary bring up the dynamic between Tayy and Dillinger with Dillinger owning the rights... There is a reference to the deeper story here, but more to come. Stay tuned!

 

No need to talk about my own MATCH vs Uncrowned, other than to say it dragged on a bit long. Even with cutscenes/entrances removed it was 15 minutes. This is why I watch in x2 speed! I recommend everyone do it! (outside of PPV/Main Events) They kicked our ass and I'm excited to see where things go for those two!

 

- The return of Loki! A lot of Turmoil representation on this Riot, I've noticed. Not a bad thing. Can the Bubba armor be any use at all in helping one of the least successful OCW wrestlers conquer the most feared one in the company?

 

- Stupid AC Cobra. Funny promo, Again, even when done in a purely comedic fashion, these pre-match deals make the matches themselves better, to me. You always remember sequences in the back of your mind when watching it back. Also, I hope Telos kicks his ass. smh.

 

- As always, Valkyrie cuts a promo like few others in OCW. I am an unabashed Valk mark and will pop at anything she does. The way she can turn around any scenario and still be a likable underdog is inspiring. More old school vs new school here as well. I enjoyed this one. Karissa's line "a punch, a kick will never change..." was awesome.

 

- http://media.discordapp.net/attachments/499580475778793472/507575493017468938/image0.png?width=50&height=30

 

MATCH: Telos vs AC Cobra

 

Only 8 minutes. Nice and succinct. The dropkick spot ending with the spear is fucking great. The type of storytelling you can get in a competitive environment still blows my mind sometimes. Really sells Telos as a giant force of nature early in the match. Unfortunately, most of that is undressed when AC starts slamming him and especially after the Mr. Kennedy Victory Roll spot... AC had the lead throughout, but not by a whole lot. Fun to see somewhat close matches after a mostly blowout filled Anny 14.

 

- Sgt. Cort Marshall! A slightly different direction for Cort this time, which is a nice change of pace. He's a great writer so I'm not surprised that he was able to blend a skeptical worrisome Cort with the same old shit talker we love. This moves him closer to the traditional face than the comedic one in the past and I am here for it. Unfortunately, he's going to get killed by KD.

 

MATCH: Valkyrie vs Karissa Dawson

 

Clocks in a bit under 9 minutes. I don't have to tell you who I'm rooting for here. Admittedly, I haven't seen a whole lot of Karissa since I didn't watch a ton of Turmoil last year, so shame on me for that. Her theme is awesome, even if it's not a perfect fit. Well done CAW this year as well and I really like the moveset from what I saw. Makes me even more embarrassed I didn't watch more Turmoil! An unbelievable match to start. Karissa just kicks the holy shit out of Valk for like 3 minutes. I have no idea how Valk fought back to win this thing... All I know is the finish was frantic, it was fast, and it looked really well done. That god damn Angel's Serenity comes out of no where and this one is almost on par with the triple threat match against FloJo and Alexa in terms of pop. Go Valk!

 

- There are so many great lines in this MJF promo, I can't list them all. My favorite by far is this number: "I have a few questions for you producer guy. One, why are you stalking Maxwale Jaykub Freeman at the airport? Two, did a 10 year old who dreams of one day stalking MJF in an airport just like yourself write that question for you??". Haven't seen him wrastle yet, but if you're going to mimic/parody a real life wrestler, at least be like Warren and be a dope ass writer! At this rate, I think our MJF is the real charismatic one and that other white guy is a knock off.

 

- Oohhhh, scary stuff happening on Turmoil. Valkyrie throwing down the handicap gauntlet already! I imagine that this ??? promo implies that there could be another, unknown force that Kasstianity has brought into the fray. Also - "Take a look at Kassidy Hayes and his friends: they are Main Eventers, they are Champions…"

 

http://media.discordapp.net/attachments/499580475778793472/507575493017468938/image0.png?width=50&height=30

 

- RP of the night goes to Bobby fucking Minio. He doesn't say much and I don't know him very well in discord/DMs/personally at all... but if Paul Pugh is my in-ring idol, this man is my on the mic idol. This whole thing is excellent from start to finish and I am a sucker for RP's that have consistent flow from one show to another rather than randomly breaking into pieces. Masterpiece, plain and simple. I won't even talk about the content of the RP, just go read it!

 

MATCH: Bobby Minio vs MJF

 

Super long match, which is not a bad thing on it's face, but I have mixed feelings about this one. 15 minutes and 21 seconds. Just a lot of weird things going on and not a whole lot of memorable spots. Bobby wiffs a lot, and as the guy I'm cheering for, I reee at that. MJF never really loses control, continuing to pound those legs over and over. The match really just dragged on too long. I would say it's because Bobby said fuck your finish, but even then it would have been 14 minutes. It was just never really a match and one sided contests are not super fun to watch. MJF does a great job being a heel and it's good for him to get over. Let's chock this one up to Bobby Minio being super fucked up and hungover. Can't wait to see each stars next match!

 

- P3 show... I... don't really know what's going on here. I was not expecting this route from Mugen and Drago when I heard they were teaming up, but if it means a new confused between-two-ferns type of guest each week, then bring it on. Also - "CQC make ATTACK on us and spray shet logo. We angry. Vary angry. Right Mugen?" http://media.discordapp.net/attachments/499580475778793472/507575493017468938/image0.png?width=50&height=30

 

- http://media.discordapp.net/attachments/499580475778793472/507575493017468938/image0.png?width=50&height=30

 

- Who's crazier; Quartz or Heather Angelo? I don't know. Kasstianity has infected the mind. At this rate, TTT and Kasstianity are well on their way to owning half the OCW roster.

 

MATCH: Drago Cesar vs Loki

 

What. The. Fuck. One of the worst OCW stars going up against Drago Cesar... This match was fun to watch. That Bubba armor must have given Loki some kind of super-power. Not only does Loki fight hard and compete with the Light Heavyweight Champion, but he gets him to 2 colors first and legitimately looks like he might knock off Drago. Unfortunately for Loki, a mistimed kick to the midsection leaves him defenseless looking like an ACME cartoon as he stares a Tiger Uppercut in the face before being pinned. A very valiant effort. PS. Those that are bad at the game, please just watch Drago Cesar matches, he is the epitome of efficiency within FPR. There is never missed damage or opportunity and he still makes all of his matches thoroughly enjoyable.

 

- I'll just leave this here:

 

http://media.discordapp.net/attachments/234383494921322496/509031066569408522/unknown.png

 

- http://media.discordapp.net/attachments/499580475778793472/507575493017468938/image0.png?width=50&height=30

 

- Great to see TLB get into it and develop the character more. It's very early but at least he did his interview with Stacy. Was very disappointed that Tyler's didn't happen... idk if he forgot or it wasn't posted or what happened, but it was a bummer for sure.

 

MAIN EVENT: Cort Marshall vs KD*

 

Wow! The face was put over in ways I cannot even comprehend! The usual dominant KD looked totally different than his usual self this week, I'm not sure what happened. Cort dominated the match from start to finish, Hogan-esque scoop slams and flexing all night long. I was thinking the whole time (okay, here is where KD comes back and starts beating this sissy) but it just never happened. Mistiming revs, bad choice on mid moves, just an overall off night for KD for the title. Fully expect KD to bring the pain to whomever has the unfortunate honor to deal with him next. Congrats to Cort Marshall for his first singles title!

 

This is the 2nd consecutive time that Cort Marshall has won a championship right after being beaten by CQC. So... I guess, you're welcome, Cort!

 

- The post-match RP was amazing too. I am feeling all the triumph and face heat that Cort deserves. You kinda get to feel good for the scumbag. I am also incredibly interested in Shepherd's voice as a singular entity, seeing as how I don't have a lot of memorable Shepherd moments as an individual. This AWOL thing has a chance to go in many different interesting directions and I love it.

 

I loved the first shoe. More please.

[Cort Marshall]

RIOT NOTES: I AM PREGNANT WITH FART

 

- Uncrowned might be a heelish name but they’re pure face with this promo. Good stuff. Let’s see what kind of spice they can add to the division.

 

-Tayy and Aisu prepare for their tag match, and none other than the only Dennis to ever exist in OCW. Seems he’s got legal protection. Ugh. Lawyers.

 

- And the mystery Dillinger protege reveals himself, giving Tayy a brutal beatdown. Great way to reveal him, but, uh, I hope that’s a temp costume to hide his true identity. He looks... a little... goofy. Like a fat biker with a knockoff Deathstroke mask.

 

- Loki doing a high spot. Quite funny, reminds me of Norman Smiley. The hockey gear he comes out with is also reminiscent.

 

- Hilarious promo from NO FLAKE NO CARDIO AC Cobra and Telos. Today he learns that xbox live trash talk doesn’t translate well to real life.

 

- Good stuff from Valk and Karissa; more straight babyface fire from Valk, whereas Karissa counters with the valid response of “oi m8 ill sock u one in the mouth”

 

- TTT are already annoying. Mishun Comprete!

 

- MJF has a great promo here, just demolishing the interviewer with sheer arrogance… then stepping into the back of an uber. I like to imagine it’s some clapped-out 80’s Chrysler. Also is that finisher a reference to the band? Didn’t know he was into psych rock.

 

- Valk can’t catch a break. These disgusting religious zealots harass her at every turn! They’re at least half as bad as regular Jehovah’s Witnesses! (Insert laugh track here)

 

- Fantastique RP by Minio as usual, a complete wreck after his party time. Last Call Scott Hall gimmick in the makings? Who’s our Kevin Nash? Popped for “Half Mast University.”

 

- P3 RP exceeded expectations on an already stacked show. Laughed out loud at the repeated sentons and Wrex’s anger being beaten out by confusion. It’s hard to get comedic timing down in text, but I could see everything in my head, especially Wrex falling through the set. My sole worry is that this TTT vs. P3 feud seems to be between two… weird… factions. Two dominant competitors who are also super silly in a super DUPER silly tag team, getting NWO’d by three heels and one Ryu Matsumoto, who’s a full 6 degrees less evil than Kass. The dynamic is odd because Kass is basically ministry taker, whereas Ryu is comedy run Booker and then you add the New Age Outlaws and… it’s weird. Kass seems unfitting here and it brings the menace of Kasstianity down. I like my main event feuds to be serious. But, it was still funny.

 

- See my point with the van and carrot thing? Like they just committed big heel shit by attacking and branding P3, but then Ryu makes a comedic analogy about carrots and van grilles and… it comes off strange.

 

- DOCTOR DOCTOR, Heather is cray cray. Good RP, getting over her dark side and sadistic tendencies. My kind of woman is the one who might be a murderer.

 

- I imagine Dillinger laughing like Ted Dibiase.

 

- Quartz looks a bit like Jim Neidhart now. Just, you know, not fat and on coke. I like the look better than the quiet but extremely jacked elevator creepist.

 

- Good stuff from Quartz, becoming maybe the best moment of the night as he pulls the ol’ DX fighting a midget Bret Hart schtick--complete with OCW’s very own Rob Van Hart, H2O! Or a very skinny lesbian dressed as H2O. CLASSIC HEEL HEAT. Though I must say it ain’t that much of a brag to be dominant over a tag division of 2 whole other people. Lessee how you do against P3 and Uncrowned.

 

- Nice to see Blacksmith here; more of a face promo than last time, though he still promises to bring darkness. I like the way he talks about how he thought he was good before he joined but got a wake-up call--it puts over OCW as being where the big boys play without making him look weak. Talk up your opponent and you won’t look bad when they beat you. The horsehead is a good way to get noticed, lotta things you could do with that. Build it up like it’s a big deal when he reveal what it’s for, then one day he takes it off during his ent to reveal brass knuckles taped inside and socks a guy. Better english this time, too. Steel shows up to do nothing, but perhaps this starts a feud.

 

- My match:

[Justin Jehst]

RUDO’s RIOT TOP TEN TAKEAWAYS:

 

In no particular order:

 

1) Tay Breizee beatdown, who is masked man? I’m intrigued to see who Dillinger has hired to do his dirty work on Tay Breizee, and if he can exact his revenge.

 

2) I think there are a new contending team to take on CQC in the form of the Uncrowned. With a win over the same handlers it shouldn’t be long before they’re pushing for a shot at the titles, even if Antonio looks like he belong at a water park and not a wrestling ring. Chuck on some hand and feet wraps and it’ll do a world of wonders I reckon.

 

3) AC’s theme song, holy shit. Did you make that yourself? I was thinking of eventually making one for Jehst but we’ll see. Anyway, it definitely added to the immersion, though I can’t really condone the use of the ‘N’ word in a wrestling theme song. Beating Telos is a good first step in building a decent W/L record, let’s see if he can keep it up against others on the roster.

 

4) Valk again defeats a veteran handler. She has come leaps and bounds from when she started here which is great to see. Both in ring and with RP’s. Gonna be the woman to watch this season IMO.

 

5) Great promo work from a lot of the roster tonight including Bobby, MJF, Valk, TTT, and Cort Marshalls post match RP was of course up there.

 

6) I’m wondering if the X-Box rookies fresh this season will step up. No RP’s from them, and was surprised Braddock did not submit anything seeing as he put something in the promo room before the season started. Hopefully in time there will be RP’s from them so we can get to know their characters.

 

7) Adam hung with Drago. I already knew Adam was a good handler but it was good to see him hang with Drago and put up a good fight, even if it was with that little crazy bastard, Loki. If Adam does end up competing on dual consoles this year, he may be one to enter the “I Beat Drago” club.

 

8) Kasstianity’s grip on OCW is ever growing and will continue to spread unless another group bands together to stop them. Kasstianity + TTT? That’s almost near domination over the RIOT side of OCW.

 

9) P3 continue to bring their craziness to OCW. It’s a weird talk show/segment on steroids; it’s outrageous and bizarre but I can’t look away haha.

 

10) Ladies and gentlemen we have a NEW Pride Champion! Congratulations, man. No-one expected it and yet it happened, so good on you man. I’m sure there will be no shortage of challengers for the strap and I’m sure that the feuds with whoever you work with will be exciting, funny, and fun to follow.

 

RPOTN: I have to agree with Quartz sentiment about Bobby, he always brings it with his RP’s, and so does Dims, so I had to tie these two, who, coincidentally, fought each other on the card. Great writing, character building/display, and creating a narrative to follow onto future shows.

 

MOTN: Probably a tie between Karissa and Valk, and the Pride Championship match purely for the pop-factor.

[Tiberius Dupree]

Gamer with the hard "ER" made me chuckle, that rp was well done.

 

As were most if not all the rps on this shoe.

 

It's good to see heavy HEAVYWEIGHT rooks for once in Telos and Braddock, we have enough flippies round here.

 

A man with no socks is a man with no honor, watch yourself Doc Green. From a non-betterness perspective I do like the Kevin Von Erich slash Matt Riddle look, it's different and definitely fits, stick with it. As a whole I'm impressed with Uncrowned, keep it consistent.

 

I don't know why but I like generic blackguy Tayy and he deserves better than getting beat up by the purple people eater.

 

I am a Valk mark, nuff said.

 

MJF vs. Boob is a highlight of the very talented LHW division, entertaining in and out of the ring.

 

Absolutely love the spinning WWE logo, when I sleep I see it, when I wake I see it, absolutely positively love seeing it when I watched shows too. Absolutely!

 

Tag Team Division is Hawt! Makes me ponder....

 

Armor can't save you from a commie stuck in the 80s, FACS!

 

Congrats to Cort, THE PRIDE OF MURIKA! I swear KD is cursed, sigh.

 

Hoot Disclaimer concerning all TTT & P3, matches and/or segments: I DO NOT, NOR WILL I EVER SUPPORT ANY DEPLORABLE ACTS INTENTIONAL OR UNINTENTIONAL AGAINST ANIMALS, EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS OR DECEASED LIFEFORMS. All Actions against Humanoids and Robots are acceptable and encouraged.

[Illuminati]

Hoot Disclaimer concerning all TTT & P3, matches and/or segments: I DO NOT, NOR WILL I EVER SUPPORT ANY DEPLORABLE ACTS INTENTIONAL OR UNINTENTIONAL AGAINST ANIMALS, EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS OR DECEASED LIFEFORMS. All Actions against Humanoids and Robots are acceptable and encouraged.

 

Hoot you reversed the gimmick, I hate the Aliens, you hate the robots. You cousin Aliens I cousin Robots

[B-17]

Hoot you reversed the gimmick, I hate the Aliens, you hate the robots. You cousin Aliens I cousin Robots

 

I'm trying to work out this meaning.