OCWFed.com Exclusive - A Sit-Down Interview with Solomon Caine

[theSolomonCaine]

The camera cuts into two men sitting opposite from each other in armchairs. A generic OCW interviewer sits at attention, looking to cut into the fabric of the newest superstar. Solomon Caine, in street clothes, rests uninterested on the left arm of his chair, taking periodic bites out of an apple.

 

OCW Interviewer: Mr. Caine, I thank you for joining us for this interview. How are you doing?

 

Caine takes a huge bite out of his apple and chews loudly.

 

OCW Interviewer: Ok then... so uh... do you mind telling us about your promo at Certfied Greatness? Do you think that mangement now knows to take you seriously?

 

Caine looks annoyed and stares at the interviewer while he takes another large bite out of the apple.

 

OCW Interviewer : Uh... Mr. Caine?

 

Solomon Caine: Yes?

 

OCW Interviewer: Do you mind answering the question?

 

Solomon Caine: Do you mind not asking stupid questions?

 

The interviewer perks up, a bit annoyed by Caine's apathy.

 

OCW Interviewer: Well, what do you think I should ask?

 

Caine rolls his eyes and tosses the apple aside.

 

Solomon Caine: Do you know what I do? Because I don't recall that interviewer was in my job description. Nor was it in my job description that I listen to some high school level journalist ask me stupid questions. Now why don't we get to something good before I put you through that drywall...

 

Caine points behind the interviewer. The interviewer is visibly frightened.

 

OCW Interviewer: Ok... um... uh.... so wh-y don't you t-tell us about w-what your plans are after Bet-amax?

 

Caine looks amused at the interviewer's plight, and his question.

 

Solomon Caine: My plans after Betamax? Now that's a damn good question. After Betamax... I'm going to kill OCW.

 

OCW Interviewer: W-what?!

 

Solomon Caine: I think you heard me loud and clear. Face-painted freaks. Bickering children. People that belong in an insane asylum rather than a wrestling ring. That's OCW. That's "top talent".

 

OCW Interviewer: But you're literally just a rookie! You've been here for two minutes and what makes you think you have any ri-...

 

The interviewer realizes his mistake and bows his head for his impending doom. But it never comes. He looks back up to see Caine resting in his chair.

 

Solomon Caine: You know, that actually isn't a bad question either. You're right, I'm just a rookie. Someone for people to laugh at. "He thinks he can do this and that, what a fool!" And fine, let them think that. I'll sort them out one by one. "It couldn't happen to me," they'll say. Let them think that. Right now, I'll be the first to admit that I don't have a billion titles and a billion dollars. But make no mistake, when this is over, I'll have what I want.

 

OCW Interviewer: Mr. Caine... what do you want?

 

Solomon Caine: Right now...?

 

Caine quickly gets to his feet and kicks over the camera next to him. From the view on the floor, one can barely make out a scuffle and hear screaming. After a minute, the interviewer crashes face-first to the floor, presumably from a TKO. A door is heard opening and slamming shut. The camera fades.

[Wrex]

Rookie wants to take over or destroy OCW.. Drink

[Illuminati]

Rookie wants to take over or destroy OCW.. Drink

 

Inb4 first match with Loki

[theSolomonCaine]

Rookie wants to take over or destroy OCW.. Drink

 

Slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrp.

[B-17]

Inb4 first match with Loki

 

Ah. Shit.

[B-17]

Ah. Shit.

 

[The Last Blacksmith]

Face-painted freaks

 

 

yea, they are the worst.