Pugh

If you people keep using OVER EVERYTHING I'm gonna start charging money. Fucking amateurs.

http://WWW.HAUSOFHOOT.COM brought you this shower of shite. 5% OFF EVERYTHING!

You'll be hearing from our lawyers. We might not be on TV, but we're still watching.

#squashmatch #unifythetitles

I'll see you out there, kid.

You and me both brother. Gotta pay for your new hip somehow though right

You are overweight and you'll never draw a dime

I took it to the Co-Main of Lution 8. You'll never get it higher

I mean. Bobby minio is a face right?

Congrats on ruining ocw

Tito Cesar

I think what I'm saying is - change the name. We have Jacobs, we have Storms. You should be Pepe Diaz

Jacob Storm! Is your tag partner Tiberius Parker?

Pugh: ...because lady - if I wanted to drive around in something tiny and full of hot air I'd climb inside Dennis Black... We join Paul Pugh at the rental desk of Shertz Hydrogen/Environmentally Eccentric Transport as he's superkicking the driver side mirror off a 2016 Hyundai whatever the fuck. He dusts his jacket down and looks at the Lady. Pugh: So do you have anything else? She shakes her head and looks at Pugh like he's lost his mind Pugh: Blow it out your ass then... He lifts his rolling carry on onto his shoulder and begins to wander across a road, causing traffic to stop and furious motorists to hurl abuse at the former champ. He's oblivious, looking down at his phone as he stumbles through the terminal. As he arrives at another door, he's met by a honking of a horn in the night. The camera spins around to find a huge spray painted van with a mural of a rastafarian man shrouded in smoke next to a giant suspect leaf type drawing. He walks over to the van and takes a peep into the passenger window. A grin comes across his face as he notices who is inside. Pugh: Ayyy Paisan! What's going on MY GUY! The camera gets in closer but Pugh waves his finger at it Pugh: No... You don't get to see who's in here. Smoke billows out of the van as the camera retreats. Pugh: Jesus guy, I thought you were vaping now - look at this shit. It's in my pores brother! Ni Ni Ni! He opens up the side of the van, sliding the door to the side as a man who looks suspiciously like former OCW superstar Young Ryan tumbles out to the sidewalk. Pugh watches on, shocked, as the tiny man springs to his feet and hauls ass off into the distance - his arms still tied together. Without skipping a beat, Pugh throws his bag into the back and opens up the passenger door Pugh: Was that Buddy Burns? He steps into the van and slams the door behind him, still chatting away to the unknown driver. The scene fades as a Riot bound van hurtles into traffic, causing yet more chaos on the mean streets of wherever Riot is this week

That being said, I look forward to completing a "Perfect Dodecahedron" against all 84 of you. Ain't none on my level.

Jesus H. Props to all involved in the BIG REVEAL. Its no "I'm your father's brother Tobin" but its up there.

The date is August 29, 2016. The location. Los Angeles, California. The city of angels, and last night - the city of mass confusion. As the dust settles on Summercide and the OCW circus gets ready to move on to its next stop, we're treated to a few shots of the empty arena. Its serene - a picture of perfection and good health - the events of the night before still hang in the air as... Pugh: I SAID NO! We immediately cut backstage where a bi-spectacled man is huddled over a Macbook Pro, desperately trying to avoid the fury of the former Champion. Pugh is watching everything he's doing over his shoulder Man: Like this? Pugh's face turns a deep shade of crimson, steam almost popping out of his ears Pugh: Of course... The man looks relieved, and a grin passes across his face until Pugh: Not! Dejected, he returns to the computer Pugh: It needs to be Brave. Regal. Exciting. Elegant. Aggressive... and also there needs to be a bear. He taps at his computer again and shows Pugh the screen. Pugh: Sid, do you hate me? Sid: No sir I... Before Sid can finish, Pugh dumps a shaker full of protein shake onto the laptop. Sid is taken aback as Pugh just stands, looking forward, barely moved Pugh: Now Sid I want you to go down to the local Apple store, and I want you to use this to buy a new Macbook. He holds up an American Express Black card with the name "J C Sensation" emblazoned on it in raised silver lettering Pugh: Then I want you to smash that one too. Then buy a new one, until you can create me something that doesn't look like these monstrosities. Pugh points in the direction of a selection of hanging banners for the more recent OCW programming Pugh: Then you will deliver to me a banner - a banner representing what I asked for. What did I ask for Sid? Sid sheepishly looks at Pugh. He's embarassed, and Pugh seems to know why Pugh: You didn't write it down did you? It was in the computer wasn't it? He nods. Pugh also nods and then seizes the destroyed computer from the desk, hurling it like a frisbee towards the hanging banners, and bringing down the Momentum, Suicide Sqwawk and Riot logos in the process and shattering what seems to be a very expensive glass pane. Pugh: Elegant. Aggressive... and a fucking bear. And I swear to god, I'm going to make you eat so many spider webs if I don't get that logo on my trunks by next week. Sid grabs his messenger bag and his OCW travel cup of delicious Java (hausofhoot.com) and slides out of shot as Pugh looks towards the mess he's made. Pugh: Hmm. Somebody's going to have to clear this up... I wonder if Minio still works here? The camera focusses on the mess as Pugh walks out of shot - we cut away to OCWFED.com signage

Pink Floyd are the poor man's Purple Pussies.

Fixed it. You're welcome

At no point have I played the victim card here broski - I don't want your sympathy, I told you people I was too busy for OCW and I stepped back. I also let you know when I'd be back and guess what - like clockwork I walk back into the place the week I said I would be. God damn Kent, how the fuck do you type with all that salt on your keyboard

Look at you flapping your gums like you're somebody. Bottom line is this. I didn't ask to be champion, my time away had been scheduled in all year and ocw was not one of my priorities. I don't owe you people a damn thing, I did exactly what I said I would. Real life first... unless it upsets Kent...

Stop ruining my fake humility you fucking animal

This vicious rumour that I flaked is funny to me. The people who needed to know knew that I wouldn't be available - not a big issue, I came back exactly where I was scheduled to - you see how Jay scheduled the KOCW? Fuckin' marks... The very fact you people think that I'd flaked is actually a personal insult to me. There have been times the past 5/6 years where OCW has been all I ate, slept and breathed. You think I'm gonna just wander off and not come back? You think that the important people didn't know where I was? The fact that any of you doubted me is fucking hilarious. Congrats to Drago, he's been continuously the best guy, and while I would've preferred this to be at Summercide, maybe there's something else on the horizon. I'd review this shit, but OCW is apparently peaceful now.