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Our Hero and The Power of Wrestling Gear Ft. EMP!

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emp-jay-Test_four.jpg.c56fbae7b50a58c3899822b6fe8e093e.jpg


We find the most powerful couple in OCW being filmed for Season 3 of “That’s Sensational”
(We got renewed for another season, be jealous bitches!) Titled S3 EP 3 “Hero Time”

The camera pans out to one of the attics at one of Our Hero’s Palatial Estates (Probably the one in Pelham Manor).

Our Hero JCS (complete with his Kawaii neckbrace) is frantically looking for something amidst the chaos, carnage and confusion when his Sensual Wife and Co Star, Kumiko Sensation comes into frame.

Kumiko: Boo……

Our Hero does not hear his wife.

Kumiko: Jae!

Our Hero still doesn’t hear his wife while he continues to mutter to himself.

Kumiko undauntedly searches for something to get her husband's attention and her eyes immediately light up as she spots something!
In an instant she grabs a fat pig, Piggy Bank(TM) and throws it across the room over Our Hero’s head shattering it into a billion, million pieces she smiles as coins and fragments fly out in every which direction.

Our Hero: (Startled) JESUS CHRIST

Our Hero: WHAT THE FU….

Our Hero notices his Waifu.

Our Hero: Uuuck, Hai!

Kumiko: HAI BOO!

Kumiko Smiles!

Kumiko: What cha doing?

Our Hero: I’m glad you are here! I can’t find it! Help me look for it! PLEASE BOO!

Kumiko: Find what?

Our Hero: The one item that will secure my victory over that sloppy pig, Wrex at Wrestlution 19!

Kumiko: I thought we talked about this? You are in no condition to fight! Let alone against, Wrex! Your neck is still messed up!

Our Hero: I can’t let it slide boo! It’s bad enough he attacked me like a fat bitch coward but have you seen what socials are saying?

Kumiko: Um you mean about me starting an OnlyF…..

Our Hero: WHAT!

Kumiko: I’m not! They keep asking, I don’t do social media it's stupid! Why should I care what stupid people think about me.

Our Hero ponders his wife’s sage like notion for a moment before snapping back to unreality.

Our Hero: WELL BOO, You’re a saint! I can’t say the same about me, these stupid internet wrestling chuckle ***** have been up my ass since I got attacked.

Our Hero: They laughed at me boo!

Kumiko: So? Why do you even care?

Our Hero: ………I mean……LOOK!

Our Hero shows EMP some SCREENSHOTS.

Our Hero: Look what DrunkBigBird420 said!

“Mid Jay dies at lution”

Our Hero: AND THIS ONE!

MayoMchine1191223409 : “I don’t care how many “legends” he beat, they let him win he’s C tier at best”

Kumiko: So?

Our Hero: So? SO!!!, SO!!. BOO I HAVE CONQUERED LEGENDS THIS LOSER WITH 5 FOLLOWERS … HE .. HE’S LYING!!!

Kumiko: It’s probably a robitz….

Our Hero Sighs

Our Hero: It gets worse…..

“BlyatAznSndLoc9” This is like 2 drunk uncles fighting at a picnic.

Kumiko chuckles, Our Hero is not amused.

Our Hero: BOO PLS!

Kumiko: What? It was funny, Jae.

Our Hero: No matter, social media has provided me the fuel I need to cripple a hobo…AGAIN! I just need to find my gear!

Kumiko: Are these snakeskin pants what you are looking for?

Our Hero : Heaven’s no boo! That’s what I wore when I defeated Recon back in 2005!!!!

Kumiko: How bout this? Tracksuit! Oh that T-shirt is nice!

Our Hero: That’s not it boo, thats what I wore when I gave Sean McGee the Mittens!

Kumiko: What about this?

She holds up a large brown trench coat! Both Kumiko and JCS look at the camera and go “NO”

Kumiko: Is this it?

Our Hero turns around and his eyes light up like Christmas Morning back when he was a very Sensational kid!

Our Hero: BOO!!! YOU FOUND IT!!!!!

Our Hero quickly hugs his sensual wife and lifts her off her feet! Mr.Sensation has seemingly forgotten he isn’t 100% as pain shoots to his neck and OCWFED's Premier Power couple fall right the fug over!

Our Hero & Kumiko: OWWWW!

Our Hero: This is it boo! This is my treasure!

Kumiko: What is it?

Our Hero: I wore this and kicked Parker Stevens ass on Sinful Saturday back in 2011? Or 2012…. 2010?

Kumiko: Are you sure about that?

Our Hero: No Booseph I am not!

While Our Hero begins to monologue his wife scurries away.

Our Hero: Maybe it’s the Oxy’s kicking in but I’ve worn this! And I’ve whipped someone's ass with this and in keeping with tradition I'm going to KICK WREX’S ASS WITH THIS! THE DAY IS MINE BOO! THE DAY IS MINE. I WILL SYSTEMATICALLY COLLAPSE, THE VEGAS ODDS AND TOPPLE THE VERY ECONOMY FOR WAGERS IN OCWFED. ON THAT DAY EMPIRES (not mine duh) WILL CRUMBLE FOR ON THAT DAY THEY WILL RECOGNIZE THAT I AM THE MAN WHO I SAY I AM! ON THAT DAY OCWFED'S NEW GENERATION WILL FINALLY WITNESS WHY ITS MY WORLD AND YOU'RE JUST PAYING RENT!! HAHAHAHAH!!!

Our Hero: Ahem now Boo ima need you to….

Kumiko is no where to be found as Our Hero looks around the attic!

Our Hero: Boo? Where did she go...The Fu.......?

Kumiko (Suddenly behind Our Hero): JAE!

Our Hero: (Startled) UCK JESUS CHRIST! AGAIN!

Kumiko: I made this for you, and look it matches!

Our Hero gets a wee bit emotional now.

Our Hero: For me………. you shouldn't have....... No one ever gets me anything.............You are....THE BEST!

Mr.Sensation goes in for a hug yet again before his beautiful wife counters with a kiss on the forehead!
With his waifu’s gift and his old gear Our Hero. Mr.Senation prepares for war at Wrestlution 19! against the nefarious Alistair Barbara Ross aka the pig Wrex.

Kumiko: What does BK, stand for?

Our Hero: I’m glad you asked! BATTLE KI….

The Camera Fn Fades

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 15-06, 18:20 Tiberius Dupree make him tap with brownie mix

 

"Booking Wrestling is the most thankless no-win position anyone could ever be in. When things go well it's the talent that makes it work. When they go badly, it's because the Booker doesn't know what he's doing." - Eric Bischoff

 

Jookie: what website do we upload to againi for got

Our Hero: uploadafraud.com

Jookie: fuck u boricua

 

"I'm like Smythe, except Good" - Matsuda

 

OCW works best when it’s a melting pot of different ideas and opinions coming together to create some cool ass shit. It’s at its worst when people are only invested in their own/their pals’ content." - Paul Pugh
 

"I'm 5,9" - Ry
 

"I'm sorry if this sounds mean but OCW shouldn't be allowed to vote" - Jake Allen

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