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Posted

The following phone call took place at 4:25 PM the day after Turmoil aired between Gentleman Jack and the Make A Wish Foundation. Viewer discretion is advised.

 

Lisa: Thank you for calling the Make A Wish Foundation of greater New York. This is Lisa, how may I help you?

 

Jack: Hi Lisa, this is OCW superstar Gentleman Jack. How you are today?

 

Lisa: I'm fine... You say your name is Gentleman Jack?

 

Jack: That's correct madam. I'll be happy to send you an autographed head shot.

 

Lisa: That's really not necessary sir. How may I help you today?

 

Jack: Well Lisa, I'm in the market to rent a dying child for a week. You see, my associate Big Ed needs to learn a thing or two about consequences and responsibility.

 

Lisa: Wait... What?

 

Jack: I'm sorry, we must have a bad connection. I said I want to rent a dying child for a week. Now can I choose which disease they have? I really don't want anything contagious. I'm looking more for a cancer kinda thing. Oh and no amputees. They freak me the hell out.

 

Lisa: I'm sorry, you want to rent a child?

 

Jack: That's correct miss. By the way, how does your pricing structure work? Do I pay by the pound? Age? I've been perusing you're website all afternoon and I'm just not seeing anything for a pricing guide. Now as I said, this will be a weekly rental so naturally I expect a long term discount.

 

Lisa: Sir, this is the Make A Wish Foundation. We don't charge for children. That's not what...

 

Jack: They're free?!?! Lady, I don't want to tell you how to run you're business but that's a real shitty plan. How do you make any money?

 

Lisa: Sir, we're a non-profit. We're not here to make money. We're here to put smiles on children's faces.

 

Jack: Wait, wait, wait. You mean to tell me these kids are FREE? All I have to do is put a smile on their face?

 

Lisa: That's not really it...

 

Jack: Oh I get it, the kid is free but then you hit me with a lot of hidden fees before I leave the lot right? C'mon lady, I wasn't born yesterday, what's the catch?

 

Lisa: Sir, there's no catch, We aren't a business. We don't rent children. Nobody does as far as I know. We're a charity. We grant wishes to sick and dying children. How do you not know what we do?

 

Jack: Hey don't get snippy with me! Have you ever worked in the service industry lady? The customer is always right! Can I speak to your manager?

 

Lisa: Sir, I really don't think that's going to be necessary. I don't think we can help you today.

 

Jack: Do you know who I am?

 

Lisa: I have no idea sir. Jack something....

 

Jack: Gentleman Jack! Of OCW! How have you not heard of us?

 

Lisa: OCW? Of course I've heard of that. But I don't know any Gentleman Jack.

 

Jack: So who have you heard of?

 

Lisa: My favorite is Kassidy Hayes. When I get off work, I go home to my three cats in my studio apartment. I put on a Kass match on my tv and an Al Green track on my Zune and then I just savage myself.

 

Jack: You're not... you're not attractive are you?

 

Long pause

 

Lisa: Not really...

 

Jack: Lisa, this is you're lucky day. Go online and look me up. I'll wait.

 

Another long pause as we hear keys clicking away.

 

Lisa: Oh my.....

 

Jack: Right?!?! Now here's the deal lady. I need a sick kid for a week. You need to get that dusty vag knocked around. Let's make a deal.

 

Lisa: Wait, what?

 

Jack: You heard me. You give me a sick kid, I'll come over and take a dive in the bushes. I'll dine at the Y my dear. I'll eat a piece of hair pie. I'll have dinner beneath the bridge. I will drink deep from the fuzzy cup. I'll chow down on Georgia O'keefe's inspiration if you know what I'm saying baby.

 

Lisa: You mean, you want to go clam diving?

 

Jack: Jesus you stupid bitch, I'll eat you're pussy! We aren't going clam diving! I hate the water!

 

Lisa: But, I, when, how, huh....

 

Jack: I know baby, it's pretty exciting. So what do you say? One sick kid for the night of your life?

 

Long pause.

 

Lisa: Meet me Children's Hospital at 2 AM. I think I can help.

 

Jack: You're a hero! Oh, and take a shower. And remember, above all else, no amputees! Weirdos....

 

Lisa: No amputees, got it. So do you think maybe we....

 

Jack: I'm sorry Sally, I really gotta go here. See you in a few hours!

 

End of call.

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Posted
The following phone call took place at 4:25 PM the day after Turmoil aired between Gentleman Jack and the Make A Wish Foundation. Viewer discretion is advised.

 

Lisa: Thank you for calling the Make A Wish Foundation of greater New York. This is Lisa, how may I help you?

 

Jack: Hi Lisa, this is OCW superstar Gentleman Jack. How you are today?

 

Lisa: I'm fine... You say your name is Gentleman Jack?

 

Jack: That's correct madam. I'll be happy to send you an autographed head shot.

 

Lisa: That's really not necessary sir. How may I help you today?

 

Jack: Well Lisa, I'm in the market to rent a dying child for a week. You see, my associate Big Ed needs to learn a thing or two about consequences and responsibility.

 

Lisa: Wait... What?

 

Jack: I'm sorry, we must have a bad connection. I said I want to rent a dying child for a week. Now can I choose which disease they have? I really don't want anything contagious. I'm looking more for a cancer kinda thing. Oh and no amputees. They freak me the hell out.

 

Lisa: I'm sorry, you want to rent a child?

 

Jack: That's correct miss. By the way, how does your pricing structure work? Do I pay by the pound? Age? I've been perusing you're website all afternoon and I'm just not seeing anything for a pricing guide. Now as I said, this will be a weekly rental so naturally I expect a long term discount.

 

Lisa: Sir, this is the Make A Wish Foundation. We don't charge for children. That's not what...

 

Jack: They're free?!?! Lady, I don't want to tell you how to run you're business but that's a real shitty plan. How do you make any money?

 

Lisa: Sir, we're a non-profit. We're not here to make money. We're here to put smiles on children's faces.

 

Jack: Wait, wait, wait. You mean to tell me these kids are FREE? All I have to do is put a smile on their face?

 

Lisa: That's not really it...

 

Jack: Oh I get it, the kid is free but then you hit me with a lot of hidden fees before I leave the lot right? C'mon lady, I wasn't born yesterday, what's the catch?

 

Lisa: Sir, there's no catch, We aren't a business. We don't rent children. Nobody does as far as I know. We're a charity. We grant wishes to sick and dying children. How do you not know what we do?

 

Jack: Hey don't get snippy with me! Have you ever worked in the service industry lady? The customer is always right! Can I speak to your manager?

 

Lisa: Sir, I really don't think that's going to be necessary. I don't think we can help you today.

 

Jack: Do you know who I am?

 

Lisa: I have no idea sir. Jack something....

 

Jack: Gentleman Jack! Of OCW! How have you not heard of us?

 

Lisa: OCW? Of course I've heard of that. But I don't know any Gentleman Jack.

 

Jack: So who have you heard of?

 

Lisa: My favorite is Kassidy Hayes. When I get off work, I go home to my three cats in my studio apartment. I put on a Kass match on my tv and an Al Green track on my Zune and then I just savage myself.

 

Jack: You're not... you're not attractive are you?

 

Long pause

 

Lisa: Not really...

 

Jack: Lisa, this is you're lucky day. Go online and look me up. I'll wait.

 

Another long pause as we hear keys clicking away.

 

Lisa: Oh my.....

 

Jack: Right?!?! Now here's the deal lady. I need a sick kid for a week. You need to get that dusty vag knocked around. Let's make a deal.

 

Lisa: Wait, what?

 

Jack: You heard me. You give me a sick kid, I'll come over and take a dive in the bushes. I'll dine at the Y my dear. I'll eat a piece of hair pie. I'll have dinner beneath the bridge. I will drink deep from the fuzzy cup. I'll chow down on Georgia O'keefe's inspiration if you know what I'm saying baby.

 

Lisa: You mean, you want to go clam diving?

 

Jack: Jesus you stupid bitch, I'll eat you're pussy! We aren't going clam diving! I hate the water!

 

Lisa: But, I, when, how, huh....

 

Jack: I know baby, it's pretty exciting. So what do you say? One sick kid for the night of your life?

 

Long pause.

 

Lisa: Meet me Children's Hospital at 2 AM. I think I can help.

 

Jack: You're a hero! Oh, and take a shower. And remember, above all else, no amputees! Weirdos....

 

Lisa: No amputees, got it. So do you think maybe we....

 

Jack: I'm sorry Sally, I really gotta go here. See you in a few hours!

 

End of call.

 

I really want to hate Jack, but he makes it hard.

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Posted

I fucking LOVE Jack.

 

'I'll dine at the Y my dear' <-------lost my shit.

 

I also get freaked out by amputees :(

 

We have had a Make-A-Wish kid in OCW before, he died shortly after meeting his hero, Tiberius Dupree , the fact his hero punched him in the face may or may not have contributed to his death.

 

Dupree isn't a nice person.

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