Michael Morrison

For fuck's sake, I figured you, of all people, would play along. Well, I don't rank PPV matches, and I didn't see your second loss, because I got your name mixed up with Sean Strider when I checked the data sheets. He's on top of you, in case you were wondering. Anyways, I went ahead and edited the Lor Repor and mentioned your two losses and draw. You happy now? Want me to tell them about your High School record as well, or will this suffice? Can't make anyone happy these days.

Perhaps if a guy could get some free... wait, what the hell does RD have that I could want? Oh... Perhaps if a guy could get some free 13" spinners for a hooptie, he would be motivated to announce such losses to "Greatness".

Cooper isn't afraid of a little Blood, Jewpanese Matches are the way of the future, Malu goes stamp collecting as he continues to put the stamp on who ever enters the ring with him and ReeStrider prove that "no pain, no Gaines" is more than just a saying. See how I connected Reed and Strider's names... like TomKat or BradGelina. 2008's couple of the year deserves the same treatment as Hollywood's top stars if you ask me. Can't wait to see what they wear to the award show... if they're still together by then :( ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/3851/lotrturmoil213ky1.png HIGH SCORE LORD Tyro Kraven: Kraven may not have won the match, but I knew he was someone to watch out for. His game is solid and his mysterious new angle has everyone wondering... Who is Tyro Kraven? CLOSEST MATCH Brad Bauer vs. Otomo Musashi: Two, count them, two points... awh-awh-awh. It says that Otomo is a free agent, but if CCW knows what's good for them, they'd try to sign this Jap with some mean stats. Very competitive and fun to watch, he could help hook some of the Asian demographic into CCW arenas. I don't know about y'all, but barely legal Asian chicks with colored hair always gives me a chibi. Oh yeah... Bauer did pretty good as well... I guess. Maybe if a guy got the hook-up to some free porn, he might be motivated to say more good crap about Bauer *hint hint* BIGGEST GAP Seth Irving vs. Versus: Probably the biggest shocker I've seen in a while, Seth Irving pushes through a Hall of Famer/Champion of Champions. A very impressive match for Seth as he stays undefeated (with the exception of two losses and a draw) this year and stakes his claim as a top contender for the CCW World Heavyweight Title. Makes you wonder if there's even a need for the upcoming Lethal Lottery that Jaysin mentioned. As for Versus, I doubt this will keep him down; considering he's always high... on life, that is. As I mentioned before, he's a Hall of Famer, was part of, arguably, the greatest faction to ever grace OCWFED.NET and has held numerous Titles during his time here. I'm sure if I were to interview him about his recent loss, he'd grin and say, "You win some, you lose some." What a guy. Maybe if a guy got the hook-up to some free sticky icky, he could write some more accomplishments by Versus *hint hint* HONORABLE MENTION Alex Cooper: The big man finally hits the ranking boards against the methodical Dick Blood. Despite losing the match, he had a good showing and even managed to get a nice score out of the experience. One of the most notable rookies so far, if he keeps RP'ing while climbing over the top ropes each week, we could be seeing some, "You Can't Hang with Mister Cooper" t-shirts in the lobby. And for you're listening pleasure, my wife found this little number on da YouTube. For those of you who mix music or do any kind of editing, you'll probably get a kick out of it. [ame=http://youtube.com/watch?v=dsU3B0W3TMs]YouTube - Music using ONLY sounds from Windows XP and 98![/ame] Windows sound effects FTW!

Showing the WWE that we can still push out better (incest free) storylines... even while using an inferior product that they produced. That's right, it's time for RIOT. And I swear to God, Baxter, if you suddenly have a sister next week, I'lll raise Heaton from the dead and send him after you with a sock full of Skittles. -------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------- http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/8706/lotrriot2708tr4.png HIGH SCORE LORD Sean Strider: No longer just the lord of white boys, Sean Strider is now a High Score Lord as well. His college, cargo shorts wearing, leather sandle kicking, nu metal listening, Ford Mustang driving, Corona Light drinking buddies will be so proud. He strides for the best by pinning a deadman's chest. That's right, I managed to squeeze in a pirate reference in that bad boy. CLOSEST MATCH Otomo Musashi vs. CJ Hoppus: These two brought out the best in each other with only a 10 point difference before time expired. In a heart pounding match that saw CJ Hoppus dig himself out of the hole that Otomo gladly dug for him during the first part of this match. I forget by just how much Otomo lead by, but it was substantial. CJ just couldn't figure the little guy out but as the match went on, CJ found his rhythm and actually overtook Otomo. After the time expired, Otomo managed to regain control just long enough to put him away, but it will be a while before he forgets this blue haired guyjin. BIGGEST GAP Parker Stevens vs. DJ Chino: A photo negative of Turmoil, all the matches were fairly close and the biggest gap wasn't all that big at all. DJ was just 27 points away from tying up, but Parker was able to sink in that Double Underhook DDT and put the Rollin' Rican away. Chino was so close to ending Pee Stee's impressive title run by putting his deadly Chino Sticks to good use. If they ever hide glow sticks under the mat, Parker could be in trouble the next time these two meet. HONORABLE MENTION Digital Divas: Despite the pink death of the Women's Division here at OCWFED.NET, the presence of estrogen cannot be ignored lately. From Sensational daughters, to bitchy managers, to disease infested goth punks and shy hotties; these jiggly jems have been strutting their lusty, long legs all around OCW. Someone needs to put a stop to this before Heaton starts hitting himself in the groin while trying to figure out why his body isn't listening to him. http://img352.imageshack.us/img352/7194/lotrriot2708ol5.pnghttp://img352.imageshack.us/img352/7194/lotrriot2708ol5.png

*What Smythe doesn't know is that I changed the scoring to keep his ranking down, to ensure he continues to try harder* But seriously, Smythe is one of the members who's ranking has steadily increased with each match, so I'm glad to see it motivates some people. He went from 240 to 342 in the span of four matches - each match higher than the last. As for being a cheese test, LotR fails in that department. I've made it a point to keep my nose out of FPR Police business. Bottom line, if the match airs, it pretty much tells me that both opponents were satisfied with the ethics displayed. Unless the FPR Squad throws a flag out there, I simply tally the attacks/counters. However, if you're constantly getting low scores, it could mean one of three things: 1) You rely heavily on safe, low damage moves 2) You need to work on reversals 3) You're facing opponents that are a step higher than you on the totem poll.

New month, new point system and new hopes n' dreams. Last month, Parker Stevens and Nate Ortiz walked away as the first Lords of the Ring, although they may have their time in the sun, it may be short lived, as February kicks off with some mighty high rankings. ------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------ http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/1961/lotrturmoil2608cp4.png HIGH SCORE LORD Malu Polamalu: Malu bursts out the gate like a Samoan Buldoze... like a really big Samoan guy that appears somewhat unstoppable. Although Versus was able to squeeze the victory out of this match and tally a fairly substantial amount of points in the process, you can't deny the skill that Malu exudes out of his many oraphises. Could it be that the former CCW Champion is back on road to gold? If he is, I will be a road filled with more potholes as superstars like RD Money, Chris Mania, Seth Irving, Brad Bauer, Deano Horse and the returning Chris Ryder now travel on the same path of prestige. I just wanted to see if I could use Brad Bauer's name and "prestige" in the same sentence. CLOSEST MATCH RD Money vs. Seth Irving: Although 107 points doesn't seem that close of a match, when compared to the other matches of the night, it's actually the smallest gap before pinfall. If you want to count pinfalls, then Versus vs. Malu would only be an 89 point difference, but I don't like to split hairs. Seth shows his determination to topple Greatness, but RD seems to have Seth's technique memorized. This was undoubtedly a battle of reversals as every other punch, grapple and attack was met with a counter. It was like Jon Woo had choreographed this beautiful ballet of blockage. BIGGEST GAP Brad Bauer vs. Vindicator: Vindicator is one big dude, but he can't quite seem to get things rolling in his direction. He has yet to break the 300 mark in rankings and now carries 2 losses under his large belt. However, his two opponents, so far, have yet to be defeated in singles competition and carry hefty averages. Could staff be throwing this rookie to the wolves just a little too soon, or is it simply a test of his merit? A word of advice for Vindicator, he needs to work on his "back grapple" defense. Bauer noticed his inability to counter back grapples and went after it like shit to a fly.... I may have worded that wrong, but the principle stays the same. The onslaught of back grapples was just too much for the man and cost him the match. The lesson: Don't ever turn your back on a *Jew... let alone a Jew with his own adult site. HONORABLE MENTION Tyro Kraven: The kid has a certain quality. I can't quite put my finger on it, but he grabs my attention. Maybe it's how his entrance demands you to take notice... or his funky fresh in-ring attire, but I see good things in his future. * The Jew remark reminded me of a joke in even more bad taste. A Rabi and a Priest are sitting on a park bench when a young boy runs by them. The Priest nudges the Rabi and says, "Hey... we should fuck that kid." The Rabi replies, "Fuck him out of what?" If you get this joke, shame on you.

I have to agree with Deano, who agreed with Air.

Yes... but the reason some people couldn't tell is because he would bust out the gimmick even during regular discussions. For example: Mike: Sup, man. Smythe: Not much... just chilin'. Mike: Yeah, me too. Smythe: I'm better than you and everyone on the roster. Mike: .... Smythe: So you gonna watch "Dark Knight"? Mike: Hell yeah! End Scene

Hey, who remembers the Pastor? Good times.

Probably not. I want to be able to enjoy the PPV's, which tend to consist of a crap load of matches, some of which last fairly long. Someone also pointed out that in PPV's, people tend to let their creative juices flow and allot of matches are redone or edited in some way. I don't want to keep people from shinning at a PPV because they want to keep their ranking.

The first month of 2008 has passed and the Beta Test has been very informative. Look for an updated point system, new match time limit and 4 more years of douche bag. Now prepare to have your egos pumped to Scott Steiner proportions... or crushed like Hulk Hogan when he faced Shawn Michaels. The winners will be viewable here in the article, with links that will take you to the official LotR chart. As mentioned, the winners will be divided into two categories: Highest Total Points and Highest Average. LORD of the RING HIGHEST TOTAL POINTS Total Points - 2234 Average Points - 372 Wins - 6 Losses - 0 Win Percentage - 100% Winner - PARKER STEVENS No big surprise here. A very impressive month for the Hardcore Heathen that is Parker Stevens. With an amazing 6 matches under his belt and undefeated streak that spans both brands, Parker Stevens has made his mark in OCW/CCW. His most impressive win had to be over Ed Reed, who was on his way to the top of the charts but had to settle for 4th place. Could this lead to a possible grudge match in the future or will Reed let it slide as a fluke? Either way, with numbers like these, it's only a matter of time before the seemingly unstoppable Hardcore Champion starts looking to become the unstoppable OCW Champion. There's a new sheriff in town, boys... and he's the fastest elbow dropping, chair swinging, blood spilling son of gun, this side of the web. See where you rank: LINK LORD of the RING HIGHEST AVERAGE POINTS Total Points - 565 Average Points - 565 Wins - 1 Losses - 0 Win Percentage - 100% Winner - NATE ORTIZ I'm a little disappointed that Nate didn't have more matches this month, but in the one match he did have against Kang James, he proved to be ever dominant. However, he needs to get back in the game if he wants to stay on top. With names like Chris Mania, AJ Phoenix, Ed Reed (hehe) and RD Money nipping at his heels, it's only a matter of time before someone catches up... and I hear RD Money is pretty fast, with the whole "running from police dogs" and what not. If Nate does throw his hat back in the ring, he has a good chance of becoming the first LotR to dominate, both, the Total Points and Average Points charts; thus earning the nickname, "The One to Rule Them All". Come on, Nate, you know you want that nickname - your kind always want it all, don't ya? Bah, you make me sick. See where you rank: LINK Superstars To Watch Guy Fausto: Already in 2nd place in Total Points and toting a nice 4-0 record, if anyone can push Parker Stevens from the top of the mountain, Fausto is the dweeb you can believe. Ed Reed: Ed Reed may not have made it to the #1 spot on either chart, but he's one of the rare few that ranked high on both. He's 6th in Average Points and 4th in Total Points, so he's probably the most well rounded superstar on the roster at the moment. Chris Mania: Off to a slow start, but judging from his one match, Mania could very well become CCW's version of Nate Ortiz. You mix that with the desire to make CCW the #1 show on OCWFED.NET and you're gonna see why Spoon is more than just a common eating utensil. CHART KEY AVG. = Average Points TOTAL = Total Points W = Wins L = Losses W% = Win Percentage Yellow = Loss Grey = Draw

I was thinking about a 15 minute time limit, but let's see what everyone else has to say.

Hey, Jaysin. I did a little test and if I upload an image saved as a GIF or PNG, the image shrinks in size. JPEG appears to be the only image type that retains it's original size.

The end of the first month is here and it's time to tally the last RIOT of January. Interesting week for RIOT, with 3 very close matches and 3 blowouts, it's safe to say that 3 of the 12 performers are not very happy. Now that we've broken the ice, let's get to da numbers. --------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------- RIOT 1/31/08 http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/3026/lotrriot13108wy3.png HIGH SCORE LORD Robert Fearo (504):Yep... Robert Fearo. I'm literally at a loss for words. Word life and keep it poppin', Robert. The match itself, as the commentators pointed out, probably lasted longer than it ever should of. I say this, because I have to keep score and I have to admit I was begging for someone to get pinned after the 20 minute mark. Once both wrestlers are walking around slowly and holding their heads, it pretty much kills the momentum of the match and puts everything in sloooooow moooooooo. CLOSEST MATCH CJ Hoppus vs. Chris Baxter: One hell of a return for the bearded bandit of the Digital Islands. His match against CJ Hoppus stood out from the crowd for different reasons: The 16 Bit graphics, the blue tint that made you feel like you were watching "Underworld" and the fast pace action which Baxter always seems to bring to the table. It's funny, as he was once heckled for being a chubby Lightweight, yet seems to have the speed and energy of a 13 year old Japanese girl with text messaging capabilities. One hell of a opener, gentlemen. You get two thumbs up, but please make sure the video effects don't make it difficult for me to see what's going on. It wasn't that bad for most of the match, but once the camera panned back, I needed my spectacles. BIGGEST GAP Guy Fausto vs. Vincent Valmont: Well, it's been a while since I heard "The Ballad of Thy Chinlock" playing in the background, so I'm assuming Vincent said or did something to upset the Geek Goliath of OCW. Or maybe Guy just felt like being a jerk, as the urge does strike him from time to time. Either way, it was entertainment at it's finest. But don't let this bring you down, Vincent because even though you lost, you were only 17 points under Guy's first ranked match, in which he scored 267 points before pinfall. Always look on the briiiight side of life. HONORABLE MENTION Mayhem: Allot of returning faces this month and possibly none more feared than the monster Mayhem. Whether it be his aggressive backstage persona or his brutal in-ring style, many tend to get a bit uncomfortable/heated when his name is mentioned. Of course, with the latest goings on, it's hard to say just who Mayhem is and what to expect from this new variation. One thing's for certain: he's been practicing. He faced off against the red-hot Chino, who's been burning up the charts with his 300+ points per match and 2-1 record*. Chino is a tough cookie to crumble, but Mayhem is hungry and he likes his food with some Latino heated spice. It doesn't appear that Mayhem is interested in points or pleasing anyone when he enters the ring. If I get what he's saying, he's simply out to pound the pavement with anyone who enters the ring. Why a ring would be made out of pavement, I don't know, but that's neither here nor there. All you need to know is that the monster appears to be back at full strength and filled with enough angst to meet post office standards. * Chino lost one match to one Robert Fearo. However, he was leading on points before being pinned. SIDE NOTE: Be on the lookout for January's LORD OF THE RING. The numbers are all in and thou shall be judged. Cash in your bets on who you think will reign supreme... but if you bet against the Giants, you might want to avoid betting for a while. Oh, I went there alright.

Yeah, as far as I know, it had to be 20KB or smaller, but when uploading, it suggests something like 19KB or smaller.

I'm not sure if this happened to anyone else, but sometimes I would upload an image that was originally 400Wx300H, but somehow managed to shrink in size. I figured it was because I was using PNG files or something, so I started using JPEG... horribly blotchy JPEG, as the file sizes are also smaller in JPEG.

Oooooh, the 31'st. When he said last week, I thought he actually meant last week... not a few days ago -_-

Was this on Indy Style, because I don't remember either man facing-off against Chris Baxter last week.

Hey, Jaysin. I'm not sure if this is simply coincidence or a site issue, but I notice that lately, when ever I submit the LotR article, it seems to screw up the main page. I thought it was because the images I posted before were too large in file size, so I made a new 11K image, but once again, the main page seems to be on the fritz. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help the situation, as I don't want the staff to fear the upcoming LotR segments and break out their HTML tool belts every time I post it.

Find out how CCW Superstars ranked in the last show of the month and who walked away as the High Score Lord. This and more on this week's episode of Lord of the Rings - Turmoil: Week 4. TURMOIL 1/30/2008 HIGH SCORE LORD Brad Bauer (385) In his first match of the year, Bauer faced off against Deano Horse and The Air, in a 2-on-1 Handicap Match. He lost that match, as many could imagine, but managed to shake it off and show CCW what he can do when the odds are even. Biggest Gap Tyro Kraven vs. Carlos Cruz Carlos really seemed out of his game this time around. Despite staying in the 300 point range, Carlos passed on many opportunities. Tyro, on more than one occasion, simply walked up to Carlos, without even attempting to attack, and then backed away. On some occasions they could have even shared an Eskimo kiss for the love of Jod. < Not a typing error. Perhaps his caution towards Tyro's reversing abilities are what caused him to hesitate during these awkward moments, but Kraven (The Hunter... heh) didn't seem to mind. There were times when Kraven would just hit move after move and Carlos would merely reply with a strike or quick grapple, allowing Kraven to slowly stack the deck against him. There was even a humorous moment at the end where Kraven appeared to be going for the kill and Carlos would repeatedly kick him. It was like watching a wounded animal trying to fend off a larger adversary. I'm not trying to put Carlos down, as he still managed to pick up the win and is one of the better cruiserweights so far; I just didn't see that killer instinct in him. Could Carlos be too nice for his own good? http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/8148/lotrturmoil13008vh4.png Closest Match Trips vs. Nathan Gaines Nathan Gaines scored an impressive 495 points in his first match of the year, but I somewhat questioned whether it was luck or pure skill. My questions were answered as he took on the Tripster in a match that didn't earn either man a high amount of points, but managed to show-off both of their abilities with only 19 points between them before the submission victory. Although I had Trips as the odds-on favorite to win this match - simply based on his performance last year and his match against Irving last week - I wasn't expecting a blowout by any means. Trips knows he was in a battle and ended it when he had the chance. As I said before, he is wise when it comes to wrestling. I was also impressed with his ability to counter Nathan's rolling maneuvers and didn't let it throw off his game, as it can cause much frustration to Heavyweights. Honorable Mention Trips / Brad Bauer Yeah, I know "ties" are copouts but I wanted to let them both know how much I appreciated their RP efforts. Trips, for his devious contract fiasco, which I totally bought into. I was actually a little sad that they didn't go through with it and let Trips keep the title, as it was an ingenious plot. I actually ranked his sudden match with Deano for shits and giggles, although I wont' actually count it. It would hurt both their average match scorings :P As for Bauer, he was able to orchestrate an RP that tied into several other RP's. It can be tedious to organize such a thing, but the end results can be magical. It dawned many memorable moments and humorous mental images. How can you not laugh at the idea of Bauer holding a gaggle of spoons while shouting, in vain, the different variety of spoons available to man. Do not fret, Bauer, for your shouts did not go unheard... or should I say, unread. As for all those that helped with the RP, kudos to you as well.

I too, for some reason, enjoy watching Jaysin put his size 3 1/2 wingtips across the bleached enamel of others. Perhaps he could start a "Kiss My Sole Club" or something.

******* ******'s name will be stricken from the record books and will now be referred to as "Rainbow Bright". This is not sarcasm either... not that it would be considered sarcasm to begin with.

I'll drop it, only if you make a video where you punch yourself in da face for 30 minutes. And no sissy punches. I will also accept a video of you letting Bob Holly hit you with a knife-edge chops for 30 minutes.

Find out how OCW Superstars ranked in the 3rd week of January and who walked away as the High Score Lord. This and more on this week's episode of Lord of the Rings: RIOT / Week 3 RIOT 1/24/2008 http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/7572/lotrriot12408ub4.png HIGH SCORE LORD Ed Reed (739) Now, this is a tricky one. The match lasted about 20 minutes, which explains the large numbers. You toss in a few pin breakups and you have yourself one long, high scoring match. The dilemma I have is if I should deduct 100 points from both scores (typically, people score about 100 points every 5 minutes in a 15 minute bout) or just let it stay as is... or should I even put it on the record, due to Casey's interference? As of right now, I'm just going to keep it as is, unless the public gives me an alternative or the two wrestlers involved come up with something. Biggest Gap Ed Reed vs. Blake Ma'Jin Well, whether or not his score is altered later, just like a pornstar, the gap remains pretty big at 223 points. In the beginning of the match, Reed was just countering everything that Ma'Jin through at him and was able to successfully perform his counter attacks. The points stacked up against Ma'Jin and he was never able to close the gap. It pretty much stayed a consistent 200 point difference for the second half of the match. Closest Match Anthony Martin vs. Blade What a great match this one was with only a 20 point difference before pinfall. Allot of good back and forth action that kept you guessing till the end. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't mind seeing it again. Much like boxing, when matches are this close, you can't help but wonder who would win the next time around. Honorable Mention Bold OCW's "White Gold Standard" may look like a juiced up, pale version of Shelton Benjamin, but this guy isn't out to do fancy maneuvers or moonsaults. There may be nothing elegant about his technique, but it seems to work for him. He's so aggressive that he wasn't even scheduled to wrestle on this RIOT. Originally, Josiah Cross was to meet Vincent Valmont, but Bold wouldn't have it. Right when Josiah steps on stage, he gets bamboozled by the Gold Dome and has to sit this one out. Bold enters the ring and proceeds to grapple like he never grappled before. Once he has you in his grasp, he can be relentless, much like Malu when he was dominating CCW. With no wasted motion and constant state of attack once he has you in trouble, I'm eager to see his next match.

Oh, freakin great.... Heaton is one up on me. He's never gonna forget this moment. Damn you, judges. Well, I'll be the better man here and congratulate the TiT. Even though it's my favorite pass-time to rag on your rainbow colored ass, this place just wouldn't be the same without ya, so take that for what it's worth. I'm actually surprised I made it that high on the list as I could have done more last year, but I'm out to make up for it this year. Keep your eyes open and ears to ground. Congrats to everyone else on the list and here's to all those who make it to the top 50 this year. Heaton, I'm looking to overtake you, so if you feel warm, it's not because you're stuffed animals are made of real cotton - it's because the Mad One is blazing a path to the top 10.