Michael Morrison

Bold, your style really isn't suited for the LotR, as you seem to do better when the points stay under 350. I'm not saying you should change your style or anything, as it seems to work for you, I'm just saying you have a style that's "hard hitting" so your matches probably won't last as long and your points won't stack up like others, especially when you face lighter guys. I'd actually like to see a match between you and Kage just to see how it would turn out. EDIT: Also, I'm not sure if maybe I just read it wrong, but for Brad Bauer, last week's Turmoil LotR rankings were already posted.

That is correct, sir.

Allot of stuff, so take a deep breath.... Vincent comes close to digging Parker's grave but gets hit with Sudden Death From Above, Cross threatens to send Bold back to the big house in pieces, Reed sends a message to his tag team partner/biggest rival by reed-ing Martin his last rights, Smythe ponders the power of the SDW, AA reveals the painful side of AA Meetings by introducing Leon's grandmother to the side of a beer bottle, Bold doesn't get paid by the hour, but seems to enjoy every minute in the ring with the Kang, Vic is so tired of the "Children of Wonder" that he's willing to get in a cage with Smythe at Lution III if it means he could become CEO for day when he puts Smythe away, Josiah tries to overcome Chino's speed by hitting him with every power move in the book, we might be in for a "Shawman Redeption" when the original OCW poet has some x'planing to do, Nate still appears to hate the hell out of Guy (Dont' call me Festus) Fausto, Double Wonders take on the Hoppin' Hearts, Nate's mystery opponent turns into a two-on-one dance, then into a tag match and finally, a Cell Match with a Hardcore Match on the outside. If you value your eyesight, don't watch the second video on the last page, otherwise you won't be able to read the latest Lor Repor. http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/4334/lotrriot31308if6.png HIGH SCORE LORD ED REED: It's been a while since I've seen a match so one sided that it made me say, "damn" every 5 seconds. For more info, scroll down to "BIGGEST GAP"..... damn. CLOSEST MATCH PARKER vs. VALMONT: Once again, a gladiator comes close to besting the mighty Pee Stee, but is met with defeat. Once you get hit with the most Macho of Macho elbows and all the air you thought you owned comes rushing out of your body faster than a dog trying to get out of a burning house... well it's over my friend... much like Hardy's career. Coincidence? I don't know, but I sure do get a kick out of talking about it for some reason. Valmont tried to slow down Parker's offense by using the ground n' pound technique. Every time Parker's back hit the canvas, Valmont was quick to apply the pressure and stayed on top of him like a 500 pound woman trying to rape Gary O'Dea. Unfortunately for Valmont, Parker was still able to get some air when it counted and delivered the ultimate pound to the ground. A good effort by Valmont, who has been in a slump as of late. It may not have been a win, but it's a step in the right direction. BIGGEST GAP REED vs. MARTIN: Yeah... this was painful to watch, if I must be honest. Anthony just couldn't unleash any kind of offensive momentum during this match. He was able to sneak in a few moves here and there, but nothing substantial enough to keep him in the match. You could tell that Reed was aware of his lead and it almost seemed like he was toying with Anthony after a while. I say this, because Reed probably could have ended the match much earlier than he did, but decided to build up for a "Stolen Finisher" ending, which he undoubtedly meant use as an example for his tag team partner/rival, Strider. Those crazy kids with their "I gotta prove I'm better than my ethnically opposite brother" complex. Which part of the Oreo do you see coming out on top? The dark cookie outside or the white creamy inside? Either way, they're both good together or separate. I tend dip the whole thing in milk and pray it doesn't dissolve between my fingers and sinks to the bottom of the glass. I hate when it sinks to the bottom of the glass, damnit. Unless you want to dip your whole hand in there, it's staying at the bottom, my friends... wait, what the fuck was I talking about? HONORABLE MENTION LEONHEART / CJ HOPPUS: These two were very impressive against the team of DaWonder and AA. The worked well together and had their opponents against the ropes for the majority of the Tag Match. DaWonder and AA were able to get their shit together near the end of the match, but the damage was done and it was just too little, too late by that point. Even after the match, they went ECW on their opposing tag team and 1-Uped the Dudleyz when Leon signaled CJ to "get the table" while in a midair dive attack and when they call for wood, they mean to use it, by Jod. They singled out DaWonder and proceeded to turn him into a human sandwich... or woodwich, if you will. This marked the beginning of a bad night for "The Alliance" but some might say they got the last laugh by the end of the show. Considering how Guy was dressed, it may be safe to say we all got the last laugh by the end of the show. SIDE NOTE: Almost forgot about this, but I had promised to display the full chart for the month of February. Without any further delay, here they be. http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/9286/lotrfebpointsan3.png http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/2301/lotrfebavgib2.png GREEN = W/L Column YELLOW = Loss GREY = Draw

Evading police, shooting cannons at police, driving while intoxicated, gay crew members, gay innuendo, a cop shooting a guy in the head for unsheathing a sword and assaulting a police officer. Baxter... you've been writing for the WWE haven't you? Why do I have the feeling that this will be on RAW soon but with incest added to the mix?

I admire your dedication when it comes to hurting Finale.

Poe gets vindication, the Odd Couple faces the other Odd Couple while delivering the first tag team TKO victory, while upside down, Kraven builds some steam as he Rydes to the top, Malu stumbles over Trips, Mania tops the charts with his Top Hat in full effect and the match that was over a year in the making and probably should have happened at Wrestlution 3 but RD Money knows better than to challenge me at the biggest show we know... cus it would have turned out sooooo different. Yeah, I said it, Money Man. Ooops. Almost forgot... BRADBauer. http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/4425/lotrturmoil31108ka3.png HIGH SCORE LORD CHRIS MANIA: I may have to re-watch this match, because even I'm having trouble believing his score. I haven't seen numbers that high since I added the 15 minute time limit. Although these two put out the same amount of damage when it came to offense, Mania was a countering machine. I'd even go so far as to say, "You can't stop the Counter Top." Get it... from the old Duracell commercials and because he wears a top hot? I'm not even sure if Duracell still makes batteries... I'll ask my wife. Hayoooooo! Anyways, congrats to Chris Mania for crushing all my hopes of winning the March LotR. I believe I stated how Chris was the man to watch out for when he first made his return and shocked the world by going CCW soon after. If Kage doesn't get his rage together, I might have to start rooting Mania vs. Nate instead. Come on, Kage... don't let a guy in a top hat and sheep necklace steal your thunder, brah. CLOSEST MATCH RD MONEY vs. MMM: Woooooooo! I finally get to put my own name on this sumbitch. I'm so happy, I almost don't care about losing the match... almost -_-. As someone stated on a previous thread, Mad Mike could very well be the first guy to head into Lution with a Television Title shot without even scoring a victory before hand. To that I say :P I had a feeling, during the match itself, that it was going to be close on points, but you can never really be sure until it's tallied. I will admit that I was hoping it would be close, otherwise I wouldn't be able to tell RD that he won by the platinum on his teeth, with a straight face. But considering how it turned out: Ha... you barely won by the platinum on yo teeth. Fuck yo couch! BIGGEST GAP MANIA vs. BAUER: This may be subject to change, as I was serious about re-watching the match, so keep an eye out. If the numbers turn out to be correct however, Mania walks away from a close offensive battle with a 167 point lead courtesy of his defensive skills. An impressive gathering of points and a deterring fact for the Mad One, who faces him next week :( HONORABLE MENTION CHRIS RYDER: Some may look at his points and think he got his ass handed to him, but the kid showed allot of heart and guts out there. The match technically should have been over sooner than it was, but Ryder was able to counter a finisher and no soled another when Tyro went for the pin, only to get caught with Ryder's infamous Possum Pin. No matter how hard Tyro tried, he just couldn't put Ryder away, forcing him to go for the 'ol roll-up... something I didn't expect to see in his arsenal, but it was a good thing he had it. So let that be a lesson to you all: If you end up facing Ryder, you better have some back-up finishers or you could be in for a long night. I guess you gotta be tough when killing Jews is your business. SIDE NOTE: Apparently, chicken soup can cure AIDS, so drink up Double A, Brad Bauer, Gary A. Young, Casey, Lita, Matt/Jeff Hardy (I'm pretty sure she had a three way with them), Edge and all the former members of ToP. SIDE NOTE II: Speaking of ToP, since the faction has been separated for some time now and two of our members are currently "Faces" with "The Steve" now going under "Steven Jones", who the hell will Val Finale be after? I will assume Ma'Jin, Casey, Poison and Cam Ninja.... and maybe the TiT.

The only way to end this dispute about random cock sucking, is to ask the specialist... Casey, what are the rules and regulations for cock sucking while participating in an Elimination Chamber? Is it bad etiquette for two guys to just drop trow and go to town - despite being enemies - or are there no limitations to when and where a helmet can be polished?

Does this exclude Versus, or McCheesy V as some have come to call him?

The Bronze know better than to enter our world. The Bronze... take our pride. http://www.prisonflicks.com/images/toecutter.jpg

http://i.ivillage.com/DF/103105/snackbars/DF_Kudos_366.jpg Don't mention it.

I wouldn't go so far as to say "lightyears" - maybe kilometers, or miles... just throwing that out there. Seeing as Jaysin and Smythe think alike, they will now be referred to as "The Childrens of Wonder". I can even see Jaysin letting Smythe do a Desk. SMYTHE: Good evening... ladies and.................. gentlemen. First off.... I want to talk about all..... the bitching going on..... on the threads......... lately. I swear to Jaysin that if you.... people... don't get the sand out of your... vaginas, I will personally send Bold to bitch.... slap... the taste out of your....................................... vaginas. On another note, The Cross Examination is starting to look like The Madness Report, in terms of length and gurth (he should be proud) but until he needs to chop the Examination into two separate posts just to fit it all, the reward for most unnecessary sentences will forever be mine. Mine, I say.

Hey now... I could still win a match before Lution >_< Besides, it's what "the people" want and nobody puts "the people" in the corner. On another note, it's nice to see you dig the entrances. RD stole my thunder with his damn custom theme. Smythe and his crew did a really nice job on it and it's definitely got a hook. Good stuff.

Baxter tries to Parker his ship where the sun don't shine, BDTTP faces a tag team thats straight out of cell block R (for rookies), Double A goes for his first Double U, Kage faces Kang but kan he konquer his kourages kombat skills, OCW double "Parks" once again and Guy avoids another ranked match as he faces three opponents. That's right, we're going around the net... or at least stopping at one corner of the net to check out what OCW.FED has to offer. Before I get started, let me give a shout out to Ministry and Crowe by posting the updated results to their match on Turmoil. Ministry: 336 + 30 = 366 Lucas Crowe: 272 http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/7193/lotrriot3608lt3.png HIGH SCORE LORD KANG JAMES: Sitting at 420... which is actually a number that's popping up on the charts more and more. Odd. None the less, James may continue his losing streak, but comes out smelling like roses. Sure, roses that have been ripped apart, peddle by peddle each week, but even a dying rose smells kind of nice. Actually, that may not be true, but for the sake of argument, lets just say it is. As I mentioned, The Kang has the longest running losing streak on record so far, but he's a consistent fighter and averages about 302 points per match so far. He tacks on another loss, but with also scores his highest ranked match against Kage - my favorite to destroy Nate once and for all. Could The Kang finally be on his way to beheading all those that stand before him while his peasants cheer with glee for more? Perhaps, or could this just be a case of Ring-Rust on Kage's part? Hard to say, but if Kang does start climbing the ranks, remember this day as the first sign that lead to his warpath of destruction. CLOSEST MATCH KAGE vs. KANG: Hmmm... it was the closest match as well. However, I wasn't able to rank Bold vs. Stevens, so if I am able to get a video of the match without chunks missing, this section could be edited later. BIGGEST GAP LEONHEART vs. DOUBLE A: 95 points before pinfall - only two points bigger than Stevens / Baxter - but with only three rankable matches this week on RIOT, it's slim pickin's. Umm... RIOT is making things hard on me here. Leonheart is a tough guy to start off with, but at least Double A didn't piss off the SensAnal Alliance. I did mark for Double A's entrance video, which features a nice montage for the most popular single mothers of America. That's right, I'm talkin' bout Strippers. Also, a nice clip from a movie or show that I've never seen, but features one of the best bar beatdowns I've eva seen. I remember seeing the full clip during his promo: The one that lasts 30 minutes and features a never ending bike ride. However, he does lose some cool points for busting the can on his head with a bandana for cushioning. Break the skin and let the beer drip in. HONORABLE MENTION GOOD USE OF 3-ON-1 SITUATION: Even though I usually detest these 2-on-1 or 3-on-1 matches, I actually really enjoyed what they did here. Fausto fought each member, one at a time, one after another, with each opponent tagging out once Guy had them in DR... with the exception of Ma'Jin. First up was Smythe, who had the most amount of ring-time with Fausto, I believe. Next up was Casey, who was able to finally get the dork DR. Lastly was the ring-leader if you will, Ma'Jin, who picked apart the remaining pieces. After the match, they proceeded to go ToP on Fausto, which was a surreal scene for me to watch, considering how many times we've done that to others. Aw... good times. It leads to a nicely done RIOT moment where Smythe hoists the limp (hehe) Fausto upon his shoulders and carries him up the ramp and beyond the curtain to an undisclosed location. Some of you may know how tedious it can be to coordinate even the simplest of ideas while on XBOX Live, no matter how simple it may seem when first thought out. Also, to Fausto's credit, it took a little over 13 minutes and two opponents to get the bastard DR.

Makes me wish I posted it first, but you just had to use the 'ol "make fun of yourself before they get a chance" trick. I'm on to your game, Fausto and I'll be keeping on eye out. But seeing as we have conflicting schedules, Steve Jones said I could borrow his cat for the job. Your probably thinking the same thing I was, "Cat's make horrible watchdogs" but I gotta tell ya... this damn cat don't fuck around. http://www.robbooth.net/images/masonsquinting.jpg

I'll go ahead and re-view the match and tally the new points. And Tyro, I appreciate the offer to place a time clock in the match, but there's really no need. It really hasn't been an issue as it just takes a second to add 15 to the time used for intros. And thank you, Mr. Jones, for revealing your true intention. Truly, you are a wise and humble teacher.

That's correct. After the intros are complete, I mark where the actual match starts and add 15 minutes (seeing as there is no damn time clock on the bottom of the screen anymore). Once your 15 minutes are over, no more points will be added. Of course, the winner still receives the 30 point win bonus, but that is all.

A Gothic beginning that's all serious in the front but a party in the back, the student becomes the master... or at least earns the right to poke fun at him, Cooper cripples Cruz with his ability to levitate his opponents on his shoulders, Tyro finds out "Who is Brad Bauer", the Ryder of the storm enjoys the Air flowing through his golden locks of freedom, Malu mistakes Morrison for an orange julius or perhaps a Halloween cupcake and tries to bust him open for the creamy filling but only gets raspberry jam... and he hates raspberry. Lastly, Trips collides with the hip thrusting, kango hat wearing, tweekin' and cheesin' son of a gun that he probably uses as a makeshift bong, Versus. Check your watch, because it's probably 4:20 somewhere in the universe and another LotR report will follow. http://img510.imageshack.us/img510/4905/lotrturmoil3408wo6.png HIGH SCORE LORD MALU POLAMALU: Much like Blood before him, Malu not only defeats Mad Mike, but manages to use him to add some more points to his puka pie chart. Lucky for him, Trips sabotaged Lil' Casey and Mad Mike wasn't able to level the playing field as originally intended. Does Malu feel satisfied with the outcome, or does he still thirst for revenge against the Mad One for what he did to his little British buddy? I don't know, but I hope he has a bad memory or revenge comes in a diet form. Revenge Light: Same great taste, no bitter regret afterwards. CLOSEST MATCH VERSUS vs. TRIPS: After scoring my match with Malu, I figured I had this one locked up, but Trips just can't stop robbing me of success. Trips really had a shot to win this bad boy with a decent lead over Versus at the start of the match, but like so many vets who've held gold, they know how to make a comeback and kick that victory right out the door like a Jehova's witness. Of course, we all know of Versus' cheesiness but it didn't really effect this match. I guess he's just that gouda. Oh thank God, I've been wanting to use that joke for so long. Now that I've lifted that weight off my shoulder, on to Biggest Gap. BIGGEST GAP VINDICATOR vs. JONES: Very interesting match, as Jones lost, but managed to create a 122 point gap over the winner before getting pinned. You might ask, "How does someone earn so many points over his opponent and still end up losing"? Well, that's a good question. I like to think that Jones was trying to teach Poe how winning isn't everything and one has to know the taste of losing before he can truly savor the sweetness of victory. That, or he was so blitzed out of his mind, he thought he was playing Call of Duty 4. Which ever explanation works for you. HONORABLE MENTION MINISTRY: Even after Crowe totally no-sold his finisher and drank a bottle of Gummy Juice before his opponent could make the pin, Ministry hung in there and still finished the job. I do have a question though. I pretty much stopped keeping score after the controversial "Rampage" incident, as Ministry pretty much had the match won at that point. However, I don't want to rob Ministry of the points he earned afterwards. So, should I re-rank the match, allowing all the points after Crowe's "Rampage" or leave it as it stands? Ministry, feel free to voice your opinion on this as well.

....DEATH! Death to all who appose us! CLIFFSNOTES: Quote is from the 1980's movie Heavy Metal, which consisted of various short animated stories based off the magazine of the same name and had - at the time - a kickass soundtrack. It also included voices from John Vernon, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy (father in American Pie) and the late John Candy.

Woops, now you have to let Smythe hit a piledriver on you. Butter fingers.

Please refer to it as the "reach around".

The fact that you've accepted how strong grapples don't play a big part in matches anymore and don't seem worried about it, makes me go... http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/8292/orlyby100pxsquarewf2.gif

The two punch limit sounds good. As for the "dragging method", I never said that people shouldn't drag their opponents, although I don't see it as a way to throw people off either, as it's not like people wait for something to trigger a counter attempt. If you're waiting for your opponent to flinch and then hit the counter button, guess what, you're too late. Yes, people dragged their opponents around before and some even used it as a form of positioning so their moves were more appropriate. You don't want to suplex someone and have their legs hit the ropes like there was an invisible wall in front of it. Before I returned to "the ring", I figured that's why people started to drag their opponents again. However, when I started playing people online, I found out it was just a way to prolong the grapple, as people can't strike as quickly while being dragged around. Strategy? Yeah, but do you really want to make the matches last even longer because everyone has to drag their opponents around after every grapple and turn something that should lasts 3-5 seconds, last twice as long? If you think the method of just standing there for a few seconds before hitting a move looks funny, try watching a guy drag his opponent around, getting punched, dragging him some more, getting punched and then a move. Some might ask why is he just dragging him around and letting himself get punched in the gut over and over. You do make a good point about other abuses, such as the roll and tech problems, so I hope you continue to argue your case on that and perhaps FPR will consider your "Two Punch Limit" as I do think it could work. When it comes to In-Grapple Punching, I can take it or leave it, as I tend to just go with what ever FPR decides. However, It's good that someone is standing up for those who want to keep the In-Grapple Punching, because people should always fight for what they want and voice their opinion. Debate is a beautiful thing, my friends. Fight the power.

While doing the LotR, it was easy to see how annoyed people were of the "In-Grapple Punching". Although most did not abuse it, there were still a good amount of times that someone would hit three strikes in a row just to break the hold. You could also tell by how more and more people were using the "dragging method" or "I got yo back now, sucka" technique. Also, it caused some people to lose out on reverse fest. For Example: Morrison grabs Trips Trips Punches Morrison and reverses Grapple Morrison Punches Trips and reverses Grapple Trips punches Morrison and hold is broken before he can attempt a move. No matter who throws the punches/knees, once it reaches 3 strikes, the hold is broken.

I mostly look at the averages, as they seem to really point out the guys who consistently perform well in my eyes. Like I said before, those who did well last year are topping the charts this year and you can clearly see the win percentages on the "Average Chart" are higher than those on the "Total Points Chart". The total points do let you know who's been actively booked and helps give insight on other aspects of the game. There's probably a reason they get booked so often and I feel they should be acknowledged for the amount of matches they put in. You can see who the workhorses are and I also like to see who ends up on both charts, because I just find that impressive. As for Parker, he's on top of the Total Points because he does have allot of matches and usually scores well. Fausto actually could have tied or overtaken Parker, had he not been booked in so many tag matches, which I don't rank. He also gets booked against allot of rookies or those not quite on his level, which leads to low scoring, squash matches. This is also why he has a 6-0 record, but isn't higher on the Average Chart... not that he's that low, considering there were 47 wrestlers to compete with in Feb. More or less, you want to fight people close to your level of skill, otherwise your average will suffer. Booking plays a role in this, which is out of our hands most of the time, but as the rankings continue and more people face each other, I feel it will start to even out better. Right now there are still people who've only had one match while some are still waiting for their chance. Either way, I just give you the numbers and let you digest it how you want. Someone might not like seeing Parker bogarding all those points and decide to go for the Hardcore Title in order to have two matches a week. Others might not care about Total Points and focus on their average by going after bigger names. Some might not even care about the rankings at all and just want to have a good time or go for a better W/L record. It's all about perspective, I suppose.

Another month has come and gone and it's time to see how you ranked against your fellow superstars. Some of you will laugh, some will cry, some will throw hissy fits that make us all want to cry and laugh. In the end, you will all be judged and we will find out who the top dogs are... at least according to me. Here's how it will be broken down. There will be two winners for the month of February, with the two categories being Highest Average and Highest Total Points. The rankings of last month will be added to each following month, IE: All points from January will be added to February to obtain a total for the year so far. This will continue until December, where the Grand Champions will be announced. I will then break down the Top 20 superstars of this month. I will see about posting all the rankings, but the chart is so big, it's going to be tricker to make a giant pic of the thing, so it may have to be in download format. But do not fret, as I will do my best to ensure everyone knows where they stand, according to the LotR Rankings. Now that we've settled on with the not so surprising results... but at least try to act surprised for the sake of posterity. HIGHEST AVERAGE He's more over than The Undertaker and Ric Flair combined, the former Golden Boy of Jaysin Sensation who has yet to meet his match in the field of battle. His skill in the ring can be considered an art form where each move, no matter how small, has a purpose and place. Collected, they create a beautiful tapestry of ownage that is so undeniable, we've come to judge our skill not based on winning, but on how close we manage to get. As I stated in January, unless he continued to compete, others would eventually catch up with him, but he managed to push out two more matches which actually increased his average by 10 points. However, there are still a handful of superstars that can easily take the lead. All it takes is one big slip-up or an off day and BAM, he falls to second place -_- WINNER:Nate Ortiz _____________________________________________________ ***TOP 20 SUPERSTARS*** http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/4732/top20avglz3.png ______________________________________________________ HIGHEST TOTAL POINTS He continues to hold on to the top spot by simply fighting 5 times a week. Whether it be Heavyweights, Lightweights, men, women, children, small animals, midgets or even robots from the future, he takes on all comers and continues to rack up the frequent flier miles on his OCW Gold Card. I think he's even entered the underground ring of thumb wrestling, just so he has something to do in his free time. It's not easy to compete at such a rate, let alone be as dominate as he is, with an amazing 10-0 record in the last two months. Bringing the Core back into Hardcore... because bringing the Hard just sounds wrong, the closest person to matching his amount of points is still 1378 points away. To put that into perspective, half of the people in the Top 20 haven't even scored that many points. None the less, he risks a serious case of burnout and if he should ever lose the Hardcore Title and become limited to only performing on one show, it could become anyones game. If anyone else wishes to knock him off the top of the hill, they better look into removing the belt from his equation. WINNER: Parker Stevens _____________________________________________________ ***TOP 20 SUPERSTARS*** http://img369.imageshack.us/img369/9458/top20pntsfz5.png ______________________________________________________ DOUBLE THREATS 1 Malu Polamalu 2 RD Money 3 Chris Mania 4 Tyro Kraven 5 Ed Reed 6 Seth Irving 7 Brad Bauer 8 Otomo Musashi 9 Guy Fausto These individuals managed to appear on both Top 20 charts, which makes them twice as dangerous as your common contender. This means they not only compete at a regular basis, but make with the points each time. It would be safe to say one or all these men will hold OCW/CCW Gold before the year is over... if they haven't already, that is. My personal favorites are Malu, Guy, Tyro, Seth and the Spoonman.