Useless Dane Xavier

I just got a third degree burn... because of how HOT this PPV is! Review forthcoming! EDIT: Regarding the Main Event, since when does face/face and heel/heel heat matter in OCW? You're contradicting yourself Trance, since you and Hostile are both Heels.

you're a faggot.

Damn straight son!

I always thought Jim Black was a black version of George Costanza with a mustache...

Dane's Exquisite Prerequisite WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: Guy Fausto vs. Mayhem©: This feud has been going on for months now. Mayhem destroying Guy at every chance he gets, Fausto running and hiding in the shadows but only taking advantage of The Monster when he's weakened. The two are legends and should... no, WILL provide a MOTY quality match. But in the end, size and power prevails over pale skin and nerdiness. Mayhem wins. NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP: Brandon Hostile vs. Jacob Trance©: Brandon stuck by Trance's side, he rode his coattails, only to learn from him and use him as a stepping stone to the NA Title. He took out Aries, he took out Gaines with a two-ton car, and he attempted to blow Trance up in his own car. Hostile indeed. Now the two will face off, and this time Hostile WILL take Trance out. Brandon Hostile wins. TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: Well it's about damn time the TV title came back. KD faces Pimp Status and PeeStee takes on WAP in a classic set of Gauntlet Matches. KD seems to have been on a losing streak lately, mostly getting his ass kicked by little guys such as D-Jack and Justin Rox. Le'Tuce probably has some ring rust since he's been out since Damnation, so it should be an even match. Perhaps KD's issue is with little guys, and only with little guys so he'll prevail in this one. K.Dangelo wins the first match. Parker and Poe should also put on a good match, although I think Parker's got the experience edge over Poe, so Parker Stevens wins the second match of the TV Title Gauntlet. So then it comes down to KD vs. Parker Stevens. I don't think KD can stand up to Parker, so Parker Stevens wins the Television Championship. Smythe DaWonder vs. Trevor McManus: This match has great build-up. That's not sarcasm, I'm dead serious, and I'll tell you why. Recently on Riot, Smythe was talking about the state of OCW, and having matches just for the sake of having matches. Well this is one of those cases, a match just for the sake of having a match. These two men have equal talent and should put on a great match, but in the end I see Smythe winning the match. Chris Baxter vs. Dane Xavier: I am going to beat Chris Baxter. Period. EX-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: Nathan Gaines vs. Katzino Hatachi vs. Jookie Marley vs. Aries: Little flying guys clusterfucking all around the ring. Gaines is still suffering from injury, Jookie is still young and inexperienced, Aries suffers from ring rust, and Hatachi is on a roll. Katzino Hatachi wins the EX-Division Championship. Justin Rockstar's Open Challenge: The Rockstar has been impressive since his return, he almost pulled it out against the legendary Hatachi, and he put K.Dangelo away quickly. But he has no idea who he is facing and he seems to be just fine with that. His opponent could be Cam Ninja, or it could actually be Poison, who I have no prediction for this match. Dylan Jones vs. David Jackson: Jones makes his return to OCW after a lengthy hiatus. I'm excited to see him back in action, but D-Jack has been improving since I whooped his ass at 'Lution. David Jackson wins. Other Notables: -Vincent Valmont will most likely make an appearance. He's been very talkative as of late on Riot, really gaining some heat. He's become an uber-heel in my eyes and I'm curious to see what he has in store for Summercide. -Smythe DaWonder has promised us some big party at OCW's biggest party of the Summer. Considering he celebrated a birthday recently and considering the size of his ego, he may just be planning on having a week long birthday, but I really hope and think it's going to be something much bigger than that. -This is a big pay-per-view, so expect Carlos Cruz to be making a killing on his wallet and shoe stealing shenanigans.

And then you get pinned off a suplex.

Pull what off? He's not in a title match...

Have a drink on me boss. Goodnight. Card Re... Preview upcoming.

I suppose that part of it was completely random, which is where my mind tends to go when I need an idea fast.

Baxter: But there's something about you that's becoming completely predictable about you Dane, your heartless way of doing anything possible to make it to the top. I knew you'd destroy Cam Ninja and I knew you wouldn't think twice about it. Perhaps he should have gone deeper into detail, but this pretty much sums it up. Plus, as we've stated before, we had a completely different plan for this. At the beginning of the month I had someone lined up to face me but he didn't show even though I PM'd him and he's been around the forums. Then as time began to wind down and my new busy schedule began to get in the way of something great happening this week, I had to come up with a backup plan, and this was the last minute thing I came up with. I asked a few people if they'd step up, one of them (who hates me even though I made a great attempt to at least get him to acknowledge me) ignored my IMs as I figured he'd do and the others just weren't interested. So yeah, I chalk this up to the laziness of a certain stoner, the hatred of a certain nerd, and my want and need to make a little money. Life sucks and then you die.

Review Updated. http://www.ocwfed.net/forum/showthread.php?p=73960#post73960

No KD, they aren't.

I'm just going for some positive reinforcement, no need to jump on me like everyone else does when I try to help.

It's just that every week it's been very repetitive with you, YOU'RE BORING!

Dane Xavier presents: The Real Talk Review Okay, so this is going to be a little half-assed, nothing like what I've done in the past but I'll save the massive wall of text for Summercide. -PAGE 1- KD and Jookie! Putting together a very entertaining RP. I'm glad you guys decided to take my advice and stretch it a bit. You guys are getting better and better every week, keep up the good work. Okay, couple things. My Pick Your Poison match was supposed to be much different. I had an opponent set up at the beginning of August and he said he'd be there. Low and behold, I PM him this week, he's been on the boards, but he doesn't respond. I won't name names, but I ain't too happy with the lazy stoner. Also, my RP that is on page 3 would make more sense if it had followed my match, so my segment is all fucked up. Oh well, so much for a "go-home" on this feud. Justin Roxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx! Off the drugs, back to his sanity, and back to doing what he does best. It brought back memories seeing him and Jim Black back together again. -PAGE 2- There's been a lot of returns lately, and Dylan Jones is the latest to do so. He's dressing like me and acting like me, I'm starting to think he's making fun of me! I might have to do something about that. In all seriousness, I like it. Excited to see what he brings to the table. K.Dangelo vs. Justin Rockstar: Entertaining match, short too! Good! This thing with Smythe is making me very curious. I can't wait for Summercide. -PAGE 3- Holy markout Batman! I didn't think I'd see Pee-Stee back in 2010! I noticed him on the boards more than usual and the thought had occured that maybe he'd come back but I laughed it off and forgot about it. But the roster is getting a little beefier lately. I hope the trend continues, and all the people that are returning plan on NOT FLAKING! Hatachi vs. Jookie Marley: What else do you expect when it comes to EX action? PURE AWESOMENESS! Jookie did a lot better than I thought he would but he just couldn't pull it off. You're getting better rastaman, in the ring and in your RPs, just keep it up! And yeah, my horribly timed RP. Sorry Bloom, I don't mean to bash you, don't hit me please! -PAGE 4- Vincent Valmont deliveres yet another looooooooooooooooong RP before kicking Liam Williams' ass, then a continuation on that RP. It's getting pretty repetitive, just talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking with no end in sight. Mix it up, talk to someone other than the camera and the fans. I'm bored. -PAGE 5- Trance is reassuring Gaines that they have a bigger problem now and it seems that they're on the same page for now. I like how this both hyped the Main Event and the Summercide match. Something interesting should develop in both matches. Hostile vs. Gaines: This was an entertaining and fast-paced match. Gaines let go of the pin after a finisher but it made sense, they were pushing the match to it's limits as a Main Event match. It ended smoothly as well with Gaines scoring the W off a crucifix pin. Excellent match, I didn't know you guys had it in you for the Main Event. But oh wait, Hostile isn't happy about this and he wants to put Gaines away at any cost. I guess that's someone else for Hostile to cross off his growing list. I'm looking forward to their match at Summercide, it should be a good one all around. -M.I.A.- I'm kinda disappointed that Mayhem & Fausto didn't at least RP with each other to "go-home" for Summercide. You'd think this would be the chance for the two of them to clear the air and put everything out there verbally before the World Championship match at Summercide. I felt like that was missing from the show and it left a big hole that needs to be filled. Either way, their Summercide match should be the MOTN. -Other PPV hype- I'm assuming that KD will have a grudge match against DJack at Summercide, and the build they've made dating back to the night they helped me turn on Baxter has made for a good feud between them. I'm curious to see how this goes and how Jookie will get involed. Even though I hated on him earlier, I am looking forward to seeing what Vincent Valmont has planned for Summercide. I'm also interested to see what involvement Parker Stevens will have at the Summertime Spectacular. There's been a lot of EX division hype lately, and I know Justin Rox has that open challenge out, so I'm curious to see what happens there. I also hope to see other EX guys like Hatachi and Jookie involved as I mentioned earlier.

I second that. I'm marking all over the place, i may need a change of clothes by the time this one's done.

What?

Where's my post match RP?

Interesting... I for one am looking forward to seeing what this is about.

Le'Toosee's Poosees! LOL!

Agreed.

Your boy said "If I lose next week I quit" but he didn't specify who he'd lose TO. And I know a certain recently returned Rockstar that wouldn't mind facin ya.

PMs are useful. PMS isn't.

I mark the fuck out for Morrison's RP. Your RP style is golden and I hope to someday be that clever and creative with my words. I'm working on it and I've improved over the years, but I'm nowhere near the level MiMo is. D-Ev: You guys really need to get creative. Any time I try to invision your RPs I see a black background with the two of you sitting around talking. Tell us where you are, explain your surroundings, and don't be afraid to go off topic with your RPs. I like how you explained how you were taping your wrists and whatnot, but we need more. Details are key to good RP that keeps the audiences attention. D-Jack's RP was wonderful, it set up very nicely for the match. D-Jack vs. KD went on too long, mostly because whenever one guy had a sig, the other would be afraid to lose so they'd do a running move. Kinda cheesy, I should have told you guys to redo since I was the recorder, but meh. Hatachi is back... and so is Justin Rox! Two returns, one EX Division hype RP, one great match. I thought Rox had it when he hit the SCM but then he ROLLED HATACHI UP off the SCM, which i marked for, but Hatachi was in the ropes! Seemed like Rox couldn't come back after that and Hatachi pulled it out. I enjoyed watching this match! Another D-Ev RP. Remember my advice. I like that KD is making things interesting by putting his job on the line for a rematch. Cool. Smythe giving me something else to look forward to at Summercide. Can't wait to see what it is. Should be good knowing how Smythe is. Jookie vs. Hostile was a great match, but I'm wondering why the number one contention wasn't for the EX title... is the EX title still around? Hmm... I can't wait for SummerCide, my match with Baxter should be fun. So Hostile turns on his friend Trance before they face off for the title at Summercide. This put Hostile over well and played off the number one contention win very well. Good work gents. Main Event was good as far as tag matches go. I liked how it ended and I LOL'd at Guy thinking about doing something to Mayhem but then running away instead. The backstage fight was great too and made for a nice ending to Riot as well as more hype to their Summercide title match. Overall, I'll give the show 8/10, only because I thought there was actually going to be a page 5. But oh well, Summercide is fast approaching and it seems like everyone's ready for it.

Three "returns" in one show. That's got to be some sort of record.