Pugh

At the risk of sounding like some weird puritan...

nice to see you finally made it back from work/the mall

IDK how it didn't end up in the promo, but Bash's private image

We’re doing first again?

It's cute you think I read your content

Booyaka Booyaka

The intro could be the waterman AKA h2o AKA dirty Doc popping his cork because of the baby hairs

Unfortunately we’re contractually obligated never to have a match in OCW again, so this will have to suffice

Yes it's still processing, suck my ding. Watch in horror as SUPER FINISHERS SHIT THE BED

I hope its permanent

They airlifted this man like he was Shamu. Excellent.

this is such a bad faith argument. FPR is the grounding of ocw. If you objectively break rules, then claim you haven’t, then double down on that - people will be mad. It’s disrespectful to Emp, Jay, everyone. Own up, apologise, move on. Getting personal over this is wildly childish.

calling out egregious FPR breaks is not the same as calling out characters you don’t like. Just floating that as an idea.

Jynx vs Scooty X *** I don't know if I'll ever get onboard with Jynx's music. Turrble. But his vibe is fun, so it is what it is. Didn't like the attire, felt a little bit too far from his usual stuff, but it is what it is. Scooty's pyro is fucking tragic. UNDESERVED. Scotty really making his PPV debut this late is wild. Attire is ok, although Scotty is a dork. Looking past the FPR and the background noise issues, we had plenty of back and forth and that was pretty good to me. Didn't vibe with the match super hard, but nothing really offensive. Evil Sue Damn "I'm gonna speak really slowly for the dumb foreigner". Completing the heel turn, would've liked to have some of the angles mixed up a little because I got bored of watching the text (i have a short attention span sue me... Sue. Me.) but it's whatever. Job done, heel turned. Tag Hype video. Fucking hate this song for a hype video. So overdone, but whatever. I wish it would've told more of a story, and I wish it would've been a bit more HYPE. It wasn't, it was whatever, but least it exists. Tag Title Match ***½ Just... I don't get it. I know the reasoning is "OCW should be fun" but at least two of these teams have been engaged in a blood feud now they're texting to match outfits before the match (outfits of wrestlers that don't exist in OCW-world mind you). RIP immersion. Daft. Mass Effect, put some crowd noise on your entrance. Some decent work with the intros. Lots of chaos, some decent team work isolation. I would've loved this match to have ended when Idiots cleared the ring and the other two teams actually did their feud shit - it made all the sense in the world. Another one of those matches where my interest drifted just because there's too much going on, but that's a personal preference, I get it. I'm glad we finally got Ryvaughn and Chance getting at each other, it was threatened and never finished off a few weeks back. The more this match went on, the more it felt like a bad idea. I understand why the build was so haphazard now - they decided this match was happening weeks ago and then tried to work backwards to get to it. It's kinda a shame the result is what it is - it feels as though Derek has been a passenger for the whole feud, so I would've liked one of the fully engaged teams to come away with the W here. Didn't though. Very weird decision to have Ryvaughn get medical attention when we've just crowned new tag champions - spotlight should've been on them, but it wasn't. Could've easily swapped those two clips round and it would've made more sense, and not taken the shine. The post match was unhinged. Again - let the fucking champs get their shine, this could've been on weekly shows. Heather/Blaine Melodrama RP'er of the year takes aim at Blaine, and they're setting something up for THE FUTURE. Alright structurally, but not super exciting. Mechanically gets the feud moving Karmine Karmine is here and he's ready to FIGHT. Telos don't know nothing about hardship - and Karmine is sick of the self righteousness. Get out here Telos... oh no its no Telos. Weirdly, this A7X song has been used in OCW before, although there was much more reaction when that happened. Please please please, just download some crowd noise for your entrances. Omen really loves tables doesn't he? More DNS hijinx. I hope Karmine isn't dead. Reese vs C-Note ***½ This match had kinda a strange build, it wasn't bad but I'm not super pleased to be sitting down to watch it. Felt a little flat, because C-Note's promos were a bit rambly in places. Always interesting to see what version of C-Note we're getting, different one than I had on my bingo card. Anyway, Mark Reese is out and he's desperate to scorch my retinas with some of the more extreme colours I've ever seen in OCW. Good face stuff though. it felt like C-Note was broken in half very quickly, even though he didn't seem to take a lot of damage. Reese is a monster. C-Note is tossing Reese around like his chonk is inflatable. It feels like Reese is going to win this, but we've still got 4 minutes to go, so pull it out C-Note. C-Note pulling it out! Sig, knee, kicks the fuck out of Reese's nonsense. When C-Note popped the buckle cover off, i'd have liked to have seen something ROTTEN, but nah, just brought us to the end. Flojo's dumb move (for now). Last minute was hot, would've liked a touch more drama but its a good win. Reese can't catch a break. Bash and MDD Bash looks a bit more like a star now. I'm glad. He's left cheeto dust Bash firmly in the past with super Mario Bash. Probably didn't need the video honestly, because we rolled straight into the promo, but anyways. I really like the cult leader vibes of this. MD is starting to question things, Bash is talking to him like a child. DNS explosion on the horizon? Probably not but this drunk bastard might be outta here. Owen vs Sheldon Hype OK, starting with something. If you're gonna have captions on the screen, you need to have them for the words of the promo or the lyrics, you're asking the viewer to read 2 things simultaneously otherwise, and that's genuinely impossible. It was well put together, but I found it a bit rambly. Sheldon not having the nuts to tell sanctum was mentioned more than once, we get it, don't hammer home the same point. I also would've liked some reverb on the voices or something. It sounded like two fellas chatting on a twitch stream, rather than a HYPE FEST to get people into the match. Anyway, least it exists. Owen vs Sheldon Int Title ***¾ Shelly should be out second as Champion please and thank you. I also wish he had a proper tron and he wasn't wearing Dane Xavier's old jacket, but it is what it is. Owen's intro bores the life out of me, I would love the lights to just go dead and then "Mat Enforcer" and then suddenly here he is with some bigtime crowd noise. I get you're going for atmosphere but I don't think it hits right. It needs tweaks to get the vibe you're clearly after. Oh good we're actually getting the match this time, good start. I hope Shelly doesn't choke. He's looked shaky in the last few weeks. Lots of counters back and forth and some nice technicals. It felt as though they knew each other really well, which is great from a story POV. I would've loved if Owen would've carried on with the countout spot, broke the count, got back out, made Sheldon chase him. Just like that. Shelly is still looking shaky. Again, wish the ending wasn't so abrupt but match was pretty good overall. GnG promo Generic as fuck, but least Derek was in this one. No scene setting, no nothing. Just some meh words about being a fighting champion. OK cool. Horse vs Spider Hype NOT HYPE ENOUGH. Another rambly one. Like, it kinda told the story, but wrong song choice for me. Everything seems really downbeat and meh tonight. We can do better. We know how to do better! Edit it tighter, get a bit of momentum going in it and it'd make people wanna watch! Horse vs Spider ***½ AZN BEETSTICK MATCH. Spider almost had aura in his entrance. He didn't but he almost did. I was pleased he had the mask on, it's the only palatable version of Spider. It's hilarious they didn't even have to clear the red smoke between entrances. Really enjoyed it. I looked at the match length on this and thought "how the fuck did Spider spin it out this long" and now I know. The key is the longest entrances in the world. Horse is over. He's a silly bitch but he's over. Started exactly like I was expecting, Spider can't find his reverse button. Horse is a monster and this is the happiest I've been this whole show. Wish he would've died on the steps, Greg ruining our vibe. Fucking cunt. 2 stomps, ALL SHE WROTE. WHO PUT THIS IDIOT IN THE HALL OF FAME?!?! Jay's hopeful "he might just do it" was grand. Damn spider got a second wind, but Blacksmith doing what he does. World Championship incoming. Owen Owen time traveling to a 1980s sitcom where people answer their landline telephone by saying "Fraser Residence". Creative use of the allegedly restrictive Morrison Method here as Owen does lots of good stuff in the bold bits. Excellent. I always don't like past tense, but it's fine here as it's consistent. Although it's still happening now, not in the past, despite my silly joke at the start! KassCUM vs Storm Boyz **** Marriage of convenience time as Kass and Wrex turn up ready to fucking BRAWL. I hope that pyro catches the stupid water man on fire one of these days. Jake using Myriad properly made me happy. High quality start, Wrex is a monster, H2O stinks, some delightful tagging. Quartz beaning Kass and Wrex taking the chance was great, enjoyed it. Kass popping in with the coldest tag in OCW history. Jay's echo is something I invented and I want paying when he does it. Fucking stick of it. H2O is so smarmy, so easy to hate. Weirdly H2O is not losing his head against Kass, IDK why. I want to see him suffer. Wrex is a monster, I love watching him. His moveset is great, he works it really well. Can't be mad at a Wrex match ever. Would've loved a countout finish when they were all going wild on the outside. Wrex vs H2O portion where they're throwing finishers was wild, Kass stealing one. Great end to the match. Really fun. The "we hate each other" dynamic is great. Marisa Doesn't serve a match, it's ok to just say nothing if you ain't got nothing to say... Aisu vs B17 Hype. MORE SLOW MUSIC. FUCK SAKE. I would've cut the anni match much quicker, and focused more on Aisu vs B17, Doc isn't part of this! It picked up at the end, so I'm not mad at it, cutting in Jake losing his shit was great, but then... flat again. These are HYPE packages. HYPE! Watch some WWE ones, a variety of different ones, and see how to HYPE shit. Aisu vs B17 ****½ Mean Aisu entrance was fun. More of that red smoke BROTHER! Must be the only colour they sell north of the border. Crowd noise! JUST GIVE ME CROWD NOISE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. There was more than a small part of me that thought B17 was about to walk out to Toxic by Britney Spears. Completely possible given his penchant for Zombie. Aura here from both though, still no fucking crowd noise to speak of. Never strap an injury BROTHER! Not against Aisu! Counters, high level stuff, great movesets on both. Guess this is why they're at the top of the card. B explosive, Aisu trying to slow shit down but he ain't managing it yet. The targeting of the arms is probably the first dose of WRESTLING STORYTELLING we've had in the matches tonight (yes sometimes its the wrong arm, but sometimes its not). The build was doodoo pampers but I'm really enjoying the blow off. B17 dominating in the end here and AISU is on his way out. Aisu clicking into french 5 sta... whatever its called when AIsu does it territory. Great match. Aisu bad loser. Why is nobody coming out to help? Ripping and tearing! YES, WE HAVE CROWD REACTIONS NOW. THANK FUCK. Extra half star. Always Sunny in Scotia Bank We get it, you've seen always sunny. Geez. Keeps the stuff with Emp and Jay rumbling but geez and crackers can we at least have a different sitcom odd couple reference?

OnDeadlyGroundReview. I’m going to do it in parts because I’m jumping in and out of the show and it works better for me this way. Thanks Spider Spider has literally been doing this same schtick for 100 years. It is tired, but so am I, so I don’t have a lot more to say. Ashley vs Emp S-Cup Final. ** We’ve discussed this on discord over and over. Bad behaviour from a supposed vet. Emp should’ve put her fucking hands up but when she did, she was curtailed by moonwalking the likes of which Toronto’s least favourite son SDW would’ve said was “too much”. And he fucking loved moonwalking. Soured the otherwise fairly decent tournament. Emp spent a lot of time making it feel big only to have the rug pulled out. For. Shame. Cody Hagen I’m glad we got a Cody promo that wasn’t a rundown of Heather’s rise and fall, but he seems to have started writing his memoirs instead. Hopefully now he’s not suspended anymore, we’ll get some good content from him, but at the moment I read these promos with a grimace on my face. They’re just not wrestling promos. They could be, with some tweaks, but they ain’t right now. Maybe get a feud going any there might be some structure, idk. Jynx vs Scotty Hype Good effort for a first go - didn't dig the song, but that's personal preference. Would've had this be a shade shorter, there's lots of stuff you could've cut out of this and it still would've made sense... but as a first stab, can't hate on it too much. Gotta start somewhere.

Will there be a woman coming? Far as I know you’re a 4ft pile of manure. And I’ve touched manure before.

Only way you’ll get the lution main event…

This is why you haven’t main evented lution.

Riot 618 Review Owen eats So, creative to start off with, thats good. Would’ve done less of the establishing shots and got to entering the restaurant much sooner, but is what it is. So I guess Owen is getting at Sheldon by going for a lady he’s into. Damn. Still, at least he’s not pissing on graves. The read the words bit was weird, I didn’t really understand what I was being directed to do. Then Owen clears his throat and he can speak again. Very jarring, because I’d turned up my speakers to hear the ambience. Said this a couple times, but I don’t vibe with Owen’s delivery. The words are emotional, the voice isn’t so much. But he’s trying so whatever. “Remember this feeling in your chest, in your stomach and in your heart”, Owen’s grasp of anatomy is a bit lacking - memories are in the brains there Alien Head. Anyway, feud keeps moving. Sensational Colours Never in my life have I read a video montage. Never again do I want to. I don’t want to use my immugination, and neither should you. Let’s see some THERAPY Devon vs Jordan vs Derek **¾ Demon Flash is here! At least that’s what the tron says. I would like more energy in Devon’s music or some piped in crowd noise to make me know how I’m supposed to react. Currently its like one of those lo-fi chill things for streamers to concentrate. Derek is here! He exists! He’s Unique as well (like his partner). No personality in the first two intros, lets see what Trance has… oh there’s a commercial and no entrance… wow. Starts with some Devonshire work, but nobody gains anything early on. Jordan going for a couple early pins is exactly what he should be doing as the wee shit in the match. Derek goes yellow after someone breathes at him a little too hard, and then some stuff happens and Devon ends up looking like he’s going to win this match. Lots of back and forth for Trance and Derek and then Trance the unsafe worker busts Devon open - disgraceful, or smart - GIVE YOURSELF A TARGET FOR TEH TITLE MATCH BROTHER. Devon isolates Derek, gets Flashy and then INTERUPTIONS. Feels like this match never got going, Devon was dominant throughout and was never really tackled by the other two. Anyway, win is a win. And over the Champion no less! Luis and Parca My number one pet peeve arrives again - MIXED TENSES. Anyway, we set the scene, Bishop becomes an interviewer for a few mins to give us a window into the mind of Parca. Much better attempt at weaving the past into a promo, no dates, no times, no results. Good stuff. Parca has potential to be a big time face World Champion but the wallowing, emotional stuff kinda is at odds with it. I’d like to see him lean more into becoming a superhero - I’ve seen him emotional and vulnerable too long now, it’s time for him to click into another gear. Bishop gets a buzz - INTRIGUE, WHO IS HE WORKING FOR. Bobbi and Chance “You put your hands on me a woman” is one of the funniest bad AI deliveries we’ve had so far. I feel like this is a middle of the road promo - fine, keeps the match build bubbling, however Derek is barely involved in these things. How are you gonna be a tag team title contender if you’re not in these things b. You’re supposed to be a team and Bobbi puts in more work in GnG. Could’ve probably been better as a written promo, but I get its not exciting. Telos More lo-fi chill-hop as we welcome your friend and mine TELOS! The new champ has some words to impart. Has it really been 6 years? That’s legitimately wild. Very lowkey promo, again, could’ve easily been a written one. The talk about etching himself into the very fabric of OCW felt important, and I was hoping we’d set up a contender here - but we didn’t. Vagueness, hopefully Telos can go from strength to strength because Karmine did some good shit with that old title and it would be nice if it continued. Owen and Shianne I am so confused with the structure of this. So I guess this happened in the middle of the video promo and I’m supposed to go back to it after I read this? That’s a lot of admin b. I’m guessing this is some miscommunication fuck up, but meh, lets just accept it as a promo. More mixed tenses, as Owen turns to face the camera having previously turned to face the camera. The content itself is decent, it’s hyping the importance of the match-up. Shianne playing the Spider role here of being there for comic relief, but could easily be omitted from the whole thing. Overall, kept things going, hopefully it sets up some confrontation later because its a go-home and I love me some confrontation on a go-home Sheldon vs Harris *** Another tune up match for Shelly, although facing your opponent’s alt is always a weird one for me. Anyway, Shelly is a star, munching away at that stupid title belt. One of the best we’ve got, must be protected at all costs. Paul Harris needs new music immediately. Fine song, doesn’t work as theme music - there’s other Oasis songs that have a similar message but a lot more hype to them, have a shop around. Loved Shelly going for the quick sub, then Harris answering it. Both of them are technical so it makes sense to not fly in with hands. The early knockings, Harris takes a little bit of a lead and genuinely had me thinking “maybe” but Sheldon got straight back on the horse and started to dominate in the middle. Harris was getting licks in on that arm throughout, which is great character work. One Finitum out of nowhere and they’ve already got Shelly’s face on the tron. Out of nowhere finish, would’ve liked it to go longer but it was fine. Owen is out - again, pipe in some crowd noise brother! You’re supposed to be a big deal. Got my confrontation, and I’m so fucking glad. Decent segment, snappy and got the point across. Flojo and Dragana More mixed tenses! Your promo is happening now! You’re not describing stuff that has happened, you’re describing stuff that is happening. Or the other way round. Pick one and be consistent. Very short promo, “do your best” is an excellent message. More intrigue! Is Flojo meeting Bishop?! Scotty and Jynx Scotty having some sort of episode in the backstage area as we get tossed some very quick words to try and race through. SLOW DOWN BROTHER. I guess its a challenge? It was very quick! I would’ve liked it longer. Jynx is doing some fun creative stuff and it’s great to see a rookie going in that direction - often times they end up getting dragged along by a grizzled vet, but here he’s clearly leading things and Scotty is just happy to be involved. Wimmins! Shianne is out back from a commercial. Similar vibe to the Telos promo earlier, making her mission seem super grand, which I’m a fan of. The World Title should be talked about like it’s a game changer, and Shianne reckons she’s a worthy person to run this division… so lets see! I also wish she spoke more like a Bugsy Malone tough guy. Soto arrives and talks some trash, I like Soto because she’s got a consistent vibe. Really easy to hate, really good at getting under skins. Would’ve liked to have seen Shianne finish her swing, but we cut away a fraction too soon. Waves the title around and then my least favourite wrestling trope, the lights go out. Now Joanna has the title, and Shianne is broken in half. Deborah turns tail and runs but hot damn that was a damp squib ending if that leads us into the PPV. Marriage Guidance Firstly I don’t appreciate the sass about Chapter 1. Maybe I am slow, suck my dick. Dr. Linda Linda is straight out of old school OCW. Shades of TD. Jay does an impeccable job of writing how he talks, and it never fails. Emp playing the victim here is great, it feels like she’s got a universe of people gaslighting Sensation. Psychological warfare at its finest. As the promo went on, it veered more out of wrestling promo and more into “I just saw Always Sunny for the first time and now I really need to quote it”. Its one of the better parts of the series, but did we need verbatim? Be inspired, don’t copy. Anyways - keeps things simmering and it is what it is. MOTY Stupid Perfect Storm RP’er of the year Doc has got some stuff to say to his brother Quartz. Glad he sent that idiot to voicemail, and now he has to address the other idiot. Quartz talks like a human, makes me want to watch whatever he’s involved in, Harvey utters a single word and undoes it. I don’t know what it is about H2O that I dislike on a primal level, but its definitely on a primal level. Seeing those three characters together “H2O”. Pure anger overcomes me. Anyway, least they’re not dancing between tenses like they’re strapped to a flux capacitor. The handshake was unnecessary in the extreme - like watching two shitty power rangers pledge allegiance to being shitty. On to Toronto! Reese and Note Reese already in the ring, he wants to get things popping early. PUT CROWD NOISE ON YOUR ENTRANCE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE A BIG DEAL! Really missed an opportunity to “Oh Hi Mark” here and you’ll never be forgiven by Drago et al. Challenge is accepted! Watch for the typos! Check out the archives on the newly relaunched OCWFED.COM. Was an ok promo - although it was quite reserved for a go-home promo. Would’ve liked a little more hype, but it gets us where we need to be so… onwards

Good!

Marisa vs Heather ***½ Doc is great at entrances, I enjoy Heathers intro, looks and feels big time. Marisa looks good too, both of them present as you’d expect their characters to and that’s grand. Match starts breathless, as many of these S-Cup ones have. We got a couple of pins which is good. One thing to note is that a lot of these matches have been incredibly similar in structure - there’s a need to win, both in character and out of character. There’s not a lot of room for character work in some of them, and its a shame, I’d like to see more. Anyways, Marisa beats the brakes off her and Heather is in survival mode for most of the match, but picks it up at the end. 3 finishers and a fucking stupid handshake… fucking Zombie again. Tag Team Turmoil Idiots are out and they do some nice babyface stuff, pro wrestling 101, interrupted by Mass Effect which is 102, back and forth, nice and simple, then GnG arrives. This is where it gets a little derailed for me. Last week we saw the parking lot thing - Chance was foaming at the mouth, ready to kill Ryvaughn. Devon didn’t arrive, but now he’s here, surely we want more heat. MORE BLOOD. It feels diluted to me, I would love to see like… revenge. The escalation should’ve come because Mass Effect needed to get their licks back. As it is, we’ve got a deep personal issue between two of the teams, but they’re putting it to the side for a title match. Doesn’t feel real, feels like pixels > everything. Anyways, TLC I guess. Kass kreeps around Kass’s blouse is lovely, very 1793 dandy attire. So, hypocrite time again. Callback to a very specific event - HOWEVER. It’s a huge touchstone event in both of these guys careers, so I can allow it here. Call back to big stuff, not to Riot 313 when you beat Johnny Dicksucker in a cold match. Anyway - well put together, a warning - a trope if you will. “You can’t beat me”, then DNS hacks the screen. Fucking sick of these people. But the video was fine, helps us understand why Kass being involved is potentially important. Kass yelling into the ether reminded me of the bit in The Sopranos where Paulie is shouting at those ghosts. Mad Dawg Marisa Good scene setting, Mad Dawg does a great job of talking like Mad Dawg talks, so that’s great news. Marisa lies to Nate to get him off the phone - I SMELL SOMETHING… I am enjoying how diffused this promo is by the lack of the word “fuck” but it's a great lesson. We’re a TV show, we don’t have fucks every 5 seconds. Then… OH NO NATE WAS ON THE LINE… except that’s what they tried. What actually happened was Marisa called Nate to tell him that she was talking to Mad Dawg because this was very clumsily written. Good attempt though, maybe the other Nate is coming back. Boulet vs Parca *** I’ll start out by saying Boulet is going to lose this match, thats my hunch. I figure its his hunch too, so I’m looking forward to seeing how he frames it. Parca’s entrance is very spooky, I would like him to have a bit more energy - lean into him trying to be a face more. You can be conflicted and also put your gameface on when its time to be in front of the crowd. Nice back and forth to start, didn’t feel super route one with them doing only limb damage moves, which can be a temptation in this kind of match. Parca whiffs a springboard and Paul takes over, coming in hot. Lots of grapples going on here, but nobody stealing the advantage. SOMEONE ADAPT QUICK! It feels like no moves happened, but both dudes were damaged as hell, guess thats what reversals will do to you. Parca trying to pull that arm off, so we’re into the attempting to win portion of the match, which is nice, if a little quick. Elementary in the end. Basically a squash match, but you need squash matches to look like a threat. We had subtitles for a sec, then we didn’t! Consistency with em please - if you’re gonna do em, do em. Was the sideways camera because we’re saying Parca clipped the camera man? Would’ve done that wayy faster if that was the intention - all it did was set off my motion sickness. I feel like Parca was diffused way to quick here - he went to nail Maxx, fucked up and then just went “shrug, maybe next time” after being furious 2 seconds before. This could’ve been a good opportunity for a pull apart or something… Maybe next week? I am great Boulet Yes! He frames it as “i had to tap to fight another day” which is clever. Sells his match for End Games too. If you want to improve your promos, read Paul Boulet’s - he does it right. Aisu/B17 Glad this is happening in the arena. Bingo sums up last week, which is good. Aisu looks like he’s trapped in a 1993 New Japan timewarp, but i enjoy it. It’s always tough to frame a face vs face match so I’m glad Aisu drilled B17 here. Makes the dynamic much better for me. Decent work, fuck Aisu. Belle vs Emp ***¾ Jay getting thirsty on the comms for Emp, hideous! Both know how to do an entrance, so that’s grand. Oh character work out the gates - maybe I was right to praise these two. Belle starts hot but Emp takes over and slows that shit down. Honestly, this is a fun back and forth match, they’re doing their thing and its engaging. Emp throwing Belle outside was a turning point for this match - Greg getting hung up on the ropes and Emp hitting the low blow right in front of him was chefs kiss. The last few minutes of this match felt super important, Belle is a great underdog - but Emp doing what she does. Shame it ended so fast. The best wrestler in this division period. Fun main event.