Michael Morrison

I was hoping that Sexual Harassment Panda was going to be in a match tonight, but it appears my hopes have been smashed. Speaking of "smashing", Nate has been angrier than usual, but it leads to a realization made by Al Poling, who states, "Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen him smile." The man can't die... he never smiles and he's possibly illiterate. I'll leave it up to you conspiracy theory nuts out there, to come up with something this could all mean.

Did you konw taht all the hamun biran nedes, in oerdr to ralely raed, are jsut the frsit and lsat lteters of the wrod in qtseuoin? The bairn tneds to aouttamclilay pdercit waht the wrod is.

Man... that first match was harsh. It's one thing to build up momentum but Trips needs to start saying, "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch" because he's stampeding through OCW. It's not like it's lowcard guys either, he's pushing through some tough hombres. When all is said and done, who ever walks out of R2G with the OCW World Heavyweith Championship, needs to start punching brick walls instead of sparing partners if they want to stop the unstoppable. Blade... I want to give you good advice or something that will put a bright side on what VFM is doing to ya, but there just isn't a greeting card out there for this kind of situation. I checked, and I didn't see a "So your former best friend has turned evil and is banging your mom now" section. Go figure. Kelly Gomez comes out to the ring -- superiority complex and all -- and does allot of gum flapping... but not in the good way. Sure, she may have the booty and boobage, but Kip has better women's attire than she does. She's not gonna find a man in OCW wearing get-ups like that. Show some flash and flair, woman. Just becaue you're constantly painted white by professional athletes, doesn't mean you have to wear all white, gym gear. Ha. Aries get's caught trying to grab his shalali when Trance interrupts. As Blade would say, that's not cricket. I'm assuming Blade's mom was on the other line. Oh snaps. Speaking of which, VFM continues his Journey Into the Jeriatric, but adds more FU to the fucked-up-salad he's been tossing for Blade as of late. This is by far, my favorite storyline so far this year. I'm not sure what that says about me, but it's such a good angle that I don't care. Kang... I know how it is to try something new, only to have it end with you going back to the norm, so I just wanted to say, HA! Hows it taste? Sincerely - Steven Segal. Congrats to Aries for defeating a former faction-mate in Wesley. I actually couldn't finish watching the match as it only gets about half-way before it cuts off for some reason. Also, when is Aries getting a unibrow? I'm surprised more people aren't questioning Nate's ability... or should I say, inablity to read. Then again, the fact that a racist, illiterate, immortal can become a franchise in these United States -- well it just brings a tear to my eye. Did you know that "tear" is one of few words that have different meanings and are spelled the same but pronounced differently? Doesn't it feel good to be literate? Guy, if it wasn't for the fact that your brain is as usefull as a bowl of cold oatmeal at this point, I'd take offense to that mime joke... but at least a mime can get a dime. Yeah, made that shit rhyme on purpose. The last match was really like two matches in one... kind of like your standard fighting game. Ooo... what if in 2010, SvR had that Capcom vs. Streetfighter thing, where you can automatically change characters, mid-fight? "Morrison is almost out of health, but wait" *BAM* Morrison vanishes and P2S pops in with an elbow drop and the match continues. Maybe I could get Wolverine's Berserker Barrage special attack or something too. That'd be schweeeeet. Anyways, Leon pulls another FAIL card and botches his own escape, giving Blade the chance to firmly place object A (boot) against object B (Leon's chin), allowing object C (Blade) to escape object D (cage). Unfortunately, Leon still needs to escape object D because object E (Valmont) is really angry at Leon and tries to shove object A up Leon's A-Hole. Leon is able to escape object D but Valmont still has his eyes on object F (World Title) which is the object of his desire. Any questions? EDIT: Mad Mike is slippin'. Didn't even realize there was another unsanctioned match till now. I believe it was sponsored by Geico (someone will get that one and chuckle). Either way, we establish that Nate hates refs and Gaines has trouble thinking more than two moves ahead lol. There were so many times where he would pull two moves and then..... nothing. I sometimes have brainfarts during matches too, so I can't be too harsh on the guy. Too bad Deano can't say the same for Nate, as he tries to be as harsh as he can while maintainging his role as the Face. It's hard to be a goody goody badass these days, but nothings too hard for Deano. Get it?

I guess when you're a hobo, you have plenty of time to do three matches. There's a possibility for Guy to break his record and deliver chinlocks to 4 different guys in one night. Despite the fact that 4 Chinlocks in One Night sounds like a bad Gangbang DVD, it could be epic.

iMPACT!

Blade needs to one-up VFM in some way... maybe start pimping Montpellier's dad or something. Maybe throw him off his game by bringing back Sarah Sykes.

Thanks for the comments, Trips. It was the first time Parker and I actually tagged together and although I think we did well as a team, I learned a few things about tag-wrestling; mainly that you can break up pins 3 times in one match, not just twice -- thought it was changed to shorten tag matches. Although the "ref attack" kept the match going, I still feel responsible for costing us the match, although Parker didn't seem upset about it at all. None the less, it won't happen again and I look forward to more tag matches as I had allot of fun with this one. Also, I wish I could hear everyone. I don't know if everyone went to a new chat session or just turned off their mics, but I couldn't hear a thing :( I know some people like to make private chat sessions with their partner during tag matches, but during a match with 4 people, I tend to like it when everyone can hear one another. Last but not least, Parker: you need to send me a list of Turnbuckle Tag Team moves you think would fit your CAW so I can put it on MMM's move-set. This way, you'll be the one doing the Poetry In Motion instead of me... not that it's a big Highflyer move, but it's still a bit odd on Morrison.

I can't even type how disturbing this was, so I'll let Youtube express my reaction through Stewie of Family Guy. [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OkcucXIuVI&feature=related]YouTube - Family Guy - Breast Feeding[/ame] Yeah... that about covers it.

I meant weightless, vertical squats. I tend to do 50 before running as a warm-up, so I based it off that. http://downloads.skate.online.ea.com/Skate2/Content/XBL2/PHOTO/3501/81350061/329650.jpg O_O What the fuck? Is that really in the game or did someone photoshop that shit? EDIT: I'm having trouble loading matches as well, Bax. If I try to watch it on the page itself, it tends to stop half-way, the screen goes black and then restarts from the beginning. I'm trying to download a match now, and it's taking forever and a day to load.

I see what you're saying. Like, instead of filing for a work visa or taking the time to fill out the paperwork to become an American citizen, some people just jump a fence or marry a gringa. o_O

It's OK; your resin filled blood isn't that hard to wipe off my boots if I use alcohol, but I appreciate the concern. Or where you referring to the sand I get in my socks when I stomp you in the chest?

Odd match, but a match none the less, so I ain't complainin'. Two mystery matches? Too many questions... too many questions.

What color thermals do you have, Jay?

You're just mad because he's all covered up and you can't see his skin. I bet you'd prefer him to come out in a purple speedo with a giant "P" printed on the crotch.

Check out I-Gen using one of my favorite movie quotes. Michael Douglas for president.

San Antonio, you say. Well there might be some madness at the show. I know some guys at work that wouldn't mind stopping by -- allot of metal fans where I work... it's night shift, after all.

Fuck you, Fausto! You think you can come out here with your silly one-liners and try and tell me what the key to loads of replies is? I'm sick of you, constantly mocking OCW, despite not having the decency to shower or change clothes. You make me fucking sick to my god damn stomach. As soon as you win a title, I'll bring this up again so I can get a title shot in an attempt to quench my rage. You're crimes will not go unpunished... not on my watch. As for the Pride Contendors: The guys I chose -- although they may have appeared to be in jest -- were legitamite choices. I based it on who I thought could bring prestige to the belt or, at least, a good storyline. You have to admit the irony of having a crazed bum as our Pride Champion is solid gold. No? Eh, what ever. I didn't go with who everyone else was choosing because they were already on the card and I didn't want them to pull double duty when members still complain about not-getting-booked or the same people always getting booked. A-Mart, leave Karim be. Yes, we all know he's a pompus blowhard and talks too much shit, but he seems to attract controversy and guys like you walk right into his web of doucheness, thus proving that he = ratings. It's like when parents bitch about music they beleive to be evil... their hearts are in the right place, but it just increases sales for which ever band they protest.

As long as it doesn't put anyone in brave danger, it should be alright.

You just can't help yourself, can you?

The pre-show was actually pretty good; especially the main event... if that's the right term to use on a pre-show. Trips drops one of the cheesiest one liners to date, but I'm diggin' it. Didn't expect much, considering the circumsances of the match, but when you see that Trips actually has a shot at pulling the win, you can't help but watch.

So is the baby I'm going to toss at Mayhem while I make my escape.

Just to annoy The Steve. Wooo, I'm first to post and I haven't watched it yet, but I'll post a review later... where I'll copy and paste stuff from other reviews.

I though you weren't even going to try this year, you cheesy liar. I'm gonna have to start making storylines straight out of Twin Peaks in order to keep up. Don't make me bust out midgets on unicorns to one-up you.

LAWL at the comment made about Smythe and Kip taunting as much as they wrestle. VFM going after Blade's mammy reminds me of the feud between Kage and Sideshow... which was classic. I too, marked for Seth's finisher. It looks like a freakin' Mortal Kombat fatality or something -- no one should even wrestle again after that. Spoon... how do you reverse top rope finishers?

A short but interesting show. I actually keep track of certain events and had quite a bit to write down for this episode of Turmoil. Mr. Montpellier is on the hunt for cougar and uses the art of commentary seduction? The submission time-off matches were a nice touch. I was routing for Trips... no offense, Smith. The hotdogs may be gone, but the wieners won't go away *drums* Thank you, thank you. Flem and Rox are still at each others throats and God forbid this ends up with them teaming up to form some kind of Rap/Rock amalgum. I can't go through another Limp Bizkit/Kid Rock fiasco. Also, some people really need to change the size of their feet. Not everyone can have size 18's men. Just to let y'all know, Busted Nut Inc. is a branch of Gravy Train Inc. Like the slogan says: Cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe and swallow the gravy, bitches. I need to ask Smythe what the rules are with his new chica. Is it like ToP where we just hit it and pass it or do we each get a body part? I call dibs on the mouth. DSL FTW. Seth almost burned in hell last week, but it doesn't stop him from stepping on the Monster's territory for some payback. The feud continues to burn like a case of the Casey Paines. Nate, we're cool and all, but I'm not watching your six that closely. Now your wife: I'd trade Sasha's mouth for Tiffany's hand anyday, because I'm a gentleman like that. Byaaaaaa! The main event was great. Allot of stuff going down during and after the match. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I mentioned this once before a long time ago, but I want to make sure I'm not just preaching my own views. If someone connects with a strike or grapple, at this point he is the aggressor and it's up to his opponent to counter. When I say counter, I refer to reversing a grapple or strike to obtain the upper hand. I've seen a few matches where people will simply use a strike to break up the aggressors next move; sometimes even a grapple. Same with reversals. A guy reverses a move, goes to grapple the guy he just reversed, only to get an elbow to the face. Now, I just want to clarify, because it may just be my view and not OCW's, but is it OK to break up someone's momentum with a strike or combo?