Gentleman Jack

The Gentleman's Review: First, big thanks to the producers for letting me open the show. I know its silly but that's a notch on my belt I'm happy to have. It means a lot to green folk! Now onto the review. As usual I'll stick more to the writing and story lines. So Bill Ding is amazing. I can't wait to watch him try to literally turn chicken shit into chicken salad. And yes I meant literally, not figuratively. I can see it happening. Also, I'd like throw my name into the hat to direct the OCW remake of the Odd Couple starring Bill Ding and Matt Sheldon. License to print money folks. God I love Carlos Cruze. The look, the music, the moves, the taunts, I love it all. I want to work with this man some day. He's gold Jerry, gold! So can we just team up Ashley and Madison already? The name is right there. Ashley Madison??? Anyone??? Hello??? Also I think I missed a big chapter in the Bingo/Jackson feud. Why was Jackson depressed at the end? Why do “we” have a problem to deal with? I thought you hated Ashley as much as you do B. I'm going to chalk this up to me being too new here to know something from months ago that makes this all make perfect sense. Seb, the balls on you! Now take it a step further and start putting up more pieces of yourself on the table for a title shot. First the stash, then hair, then skin color, and finally, FINALLY, I'll get my Dick vs Title match I so long for. Worst case scenario, you lose and can challenge Queen Sophia. Think about it! I have to admit I didn't give two shits about Malu until tonight. But Malu and Bray are great together! And please get Bray in on that #1 contender match. I've shit all over that match in public and private but Bray fixes every problem I have with it. I know I'm too new and don't deserve to have problems with cards but deep, deep down inside you all know I'm right. Tear it up you beautiful, Mediterranean asshole! I'm pulling for you. I want Amber Fowler to cook me some biscuits and gravy. Fun match, all hail Queen Sophia. Also, if Sophia would just give Dennis a tug job in the booth this Sunday I think we could be rid of Madison. Also I never realized how close Dennis was to the autism line until tonight. Oh skull kids, if you just had a better attitude you'd be soooooo over. You look like a million bucks but it's going to take a lot, I mean a lot, to get out of the hole you guys dug. Send the front office a cookie puss or something. Kassidy is getting a personality! We're all screwed! Fun segment and I bet Nightmare enjoyed his cheap plug. Oh Joe... poor, poor, sweet, innocent little Joe. My giant and I will see you Sunday. Dear Orphanage, thank you for a Warriors reference. Also with the shifting backstage politics I look forward to seeing Dennis and Loki wrestle every week for the next three years. You did it yourself Dennis. I look forward to Seb Hitler. Esp once he's bald, african american, and female. Joe, you're so fucked Sunday. I had plans for that bar. Plans!!!! Axton and Bray??? Is it christmas morning? Yes, a thousand times yes to whatever you guys want to do. I'll watch you two do anything. The fact that its assaulting clowns is just a fun bonus. Please go fuck up a circus at some point. Take it out on every clown you can find. I want to see a clown holocaust here people. PS, Clown Holocaust would be a PIMP band name. Bray beat Manu!!!! I have a reason to watch the number one contender match now! Hallelujah! Btw this is less a knock on Manu and more on Seth. I truly apologize if I missed something but I don't know dick about Seth yet. Was the match booked and then something happened to the guy? Either way, happy for Bray. Ok now this Jackson Montgomery I get. But it seems like a totally different Jackson than the one I saw earlier. Oh the joys of letting multiple people write for one character. Either way, this is the champ I was expecting when he came out earlier. Big Ed with the upset! Jackson may not care now but he will soon. I had the good sense to jump on Ed's coattails while there was room. There's going to be a new sheriff in town soon. Don't say I didn't warn you. Ouch! A beaten Jackson takes a Jannetty to end the show. I won't sugar coat this, I still don't care about the Turmoil title match. I like both characters but Jackson has been too busy with B-17. If I didn't have the card in front of me I'd swear the title match sunday was between them and not Jackson and Kassidy. The only way I'll back down here is due to the fact that I know you guys had history coming in that my rookie ass doesn't know about. Or maybe Kassidy is just the most cerebral mother here and its all part of a plan that my simple mind can't comprehend yet.. I'm also coming to the realization that the Turmoil championship division appears to be more game driven than story which is probably why I'm having a harder time caring. All in all it was a fun go home edition. Looking forward to my first ppv this weekend. I know the Riot folks will have the spotlight but I hope somebody from Turmoil steals the show. We have some glaring weaknesses as a brand that I don't see changing anytime soon but there's some fun, hungry talent here that could possibly do something special. Either way, I'm looking forward to it. Feel free to throw things at me and call me a clueless rookie now!

What?

Will the president of the Bill Ding fan club get in touch with me? Im ready to become a dues paying member. He's like a 3 legged, mange ridden dog. He's hideous and terrible in every way but damnit, i just want to hug him and take him home.

psh i live my gimmick 24/7. turns out im a cowardly asshole in real life too

I don't know why you want to see me die in the middle of the ring so badly.... what did i do!?!?! First Bray, then Ed, now a Matsuda alt. Who do I have to blow to get a Bill Ding type match around here?!?!?! When I die I want Dennis to have all of my stuff. Avenge me Dennis, avenge me!

Thank you Mr. Dupree! Now I get it!

If anyone here speaks fluent Jay and can translate his above post I'd be most grateful. I say that with all due love and respect, i'm literally confused.

I've been here a month, never won a match, and am slotted higher than malu and seth irving. For those of you who won't belittle yourselves into watching turmoil, those gentleman are fighting for the #1 contendership for the turmoil title at Savage Lands. Something is wrong with this picture.

So I'm going to go on a little rant here about how Bray is the most underrated, underused, badass mamajama turmoil has to offer. I know I'm still ridiculously new here and my opinion doesnt carry that much weight but thats actually a good thing here. Ive looked into his past and I know some of you don't give him the time of day bc he came in a jericho impersonator. I've only seen a little over a month's worth of the man's work but there's nothing about him but his finisher that screams jericho. He's fan freakintastic on the sticks, always shows for bookings, and has a good attitude. His character is getting fleshed out and if you aren't terrified of seeing him in your mirror you should be. "There’s only two people I allow to check on me. My sister and the Lord... maybe my mother if she responds to my texts, but that’s not the point." If that doesn't make you a fan, I can't help you. Watch this kid, he's going to be our overlord someday. Mad respect Bray. keep it up!

I think its kinda fitting that a puddle of anthropomorphic jeff jarrett jizz is now the patron saint of rookies.

So since the OCW Executive Committee wants everyone, rookies included. discussing things more I thought I'd throw in my two cents. I'll focus more on writing bc, lets be honest here, I can barely lace my figurative boots. Please know I understand the fact that I'm greener than green and mean no disrespect. Nightmare Cold Opener: Very cool way to open the show, already a fan of the man that clearly sexually assaults women in porta potties at slipknot concerts. Big gamble on the monster bit but I bet you can take the guy anywhere even if the w's don't always fall your way. Joe vs Nightmare: Poor Joe. He's got Ed all up in his head and Nightmare took advantage. Seriously Joe, you need friends. Or Jesus. But probably just friends. Either way I'm interested in your story and Nightmare looks good. That's a success in my book. Dennis and Trance Promo / B-17 and Jackson / I'm a Dennis mark, sue me. He puts his opponents over and makes them look like a million bucks. No offense to B-17 and Jackson but I'm so much more invested in Dennis and Trance. In all fairness, I don't know the full backstory of B and Jackson so there's a real good chance it's my own fault I'm not as into it. Seb: You put your stache on the line. Mad respect sir. Loki / The Sinister One: I want more Loki and Axton in my life. I don't understand it yet but I want more. And I smoke way to much weed so don't take my not understanding personally. As for Scott, write something. You just look like Nightmare's wing man at rape-apoolza 2016. Write something and tell me who you are. Jackson Promo: I care more now. That's why he's a good champ. Wtf am I going to say to the champ? Thanks for letting me stand in your ring from time to time. Carlos: Let's eat taco bowls and talk about those voices in your head. I can so help. Casey Paine / Sophia Match: Oh shit nightmare, that chick you sexually assaulted in the porta potty is back and she looks freaking pissed bro. Casey looks like walking Hep C and I want to know everything! Sophia is the queen of turmoil and I'm not going to be the shmuck to start bad mouthing her. I'm super impressed with the women's division I'm assuming she built. Big Ed / Me Huge thanks to Ed for a fun match! He physically and emotionally assaulted me and I loved every second of it. I hate the biker thing but I'm clearly a fan. I hope you and Joe have a brawl. Watch this guy folks, he's going places. As for me, I suck on the sticks but I'll get there and am having a blast! The Orphanage aka Anthropomorphic Hot Topic: This is going to go either super freaking awesomely well or like a wet fart. Are you going to be the brood, the oddities, or something fun and new? I dug the first chapter though so let's see! It Don't Matter If You're Black or White: Dennis on the rebound, rookie kept it close with the tv champ. If you have major problems with this than I don't know what to tell ya. But again I'm a Dennis mark so my opinion is biased. White took the loss in stride, look forward to his next booking and getting into the character. Malu vs Kass: No words from either man in the main event? Did I miss something? That makes me sad. Purge: So the close of Turmoil is a Riot story line? Shenanigans! Hope something fun comes of this. Closing thoughts: Dug the show a ton until the end. I wasn't invested with the savage and the vampire but i'm a word whore so please don't hate me for it. Didn't like a Riot story closing Turmoil but I assume thats the point so well played. Otherwise I think it's a fun time to be here. I see lots of fun toys on the roster and look forward to playing with them all. Its going to be a fun summer!

I am. Ive got a new one up for our match. dont worry :)

Our scene opens inside Jack's so godawefully depressing motel room. The shades are pulled tight with just enough light to make the contents of the room visible. On his nightstand we see an assortment of pill and liqueur bottles. Please don't try this at home folks. Mixing narcotics and alcohol is deadly. Jack is a trained professional and under no immediate danger. Though in twenty years he's shit out of luck. We see the top of Jack's head peering out from the covers as we hear a knock on the door. Jack: Go away.... Knock knock knock Jack: Go away damnit! I dont want anything! Don't you see the do not disturb sign? Knock knock knock Jack: Vete! No quiero que mi habitación se limpian puta mexicana! Barry through the door: I'm not a Mexican whore! Open the door Jack! Jack: Ugh.... Jack slowly gets out of bed, drinking the sad remains of a beer on the table. As he stands we come to the horrid realization that he's wearing nothing but tighty whiteys. Jack: Good morning world... Jack stumbles to the door to let in Barry. As he opens it the sun immediately blinds him. Jack: Jesus Barry get in here and close the damn door behind you! My head is killing me. Barry looks around the room, taking in last night's assumed debauchery. Barry: Jack, what happened here? No wonder your head hurts. This place looks like Majin had a hardcore match in it. How much did you drink? How many pills did you take? Jack: Drink? Pills? That's what I used to try to kill the headache man! This is all from Bray Mediterranean Asshole with two S's Spur. He beat the horse piss out of me Barry. I think he may have concussed me! Barry: Jeez, you want me to take you to a doctor? Jack: Doctor?! Are you crazy??? I'm not letting those savages near me! I'll be fine, I just need a bit of the good medicine. Barry: I really don't think you should... Jack: Oh, so now besides being an unlicensed lawyer, you're also an unlicensed doctor? Barry: Look Jack, all I'm saying is, you're a professional athlete now. You really shouldn't be doing Amyl Nitrate. That's all I'm getting at. Jack: You hypocrite... How could you do this to me? Me? Of all people??? Barry: Look, first and foremost I'm your trainer now. We can't have you hooked on poppers kid. Jack: Yeah about that, who named you my trainer anyway? We never had this discussion. You were too busy trying to hit me with 2x4's. Barry: Look kid, I know the fight game. C'mon, I got you booked on Unleashed didn't I? Jack: Lot of good that did me. They fed me to the wolves Barry! They put me in the ring with one of the top five most dangerous athletes on Turmoil! What the hell man? Did they want to see me die? Barry: It wasn't like that! They thought you could fight! I told em you could! That's what I'm saying Jack, you need me. Jack: So it was your fault I got fed to that savage animal! Thanks a lot Barry! Barry: A booking is a booking. Besides kid, that's all in the past now. On to bigger and better things! Turmoil this week! You and Big Ed, one on one in the middle of the squared circle! Just think of it kid, it's gonna be great! Jack: Now I get it, you took the last of the poppers didn't you? That's why you won't give me any. You must have shoved every last one of them up your fat little face didn't you? That's the only reasonable explanation I can come up with if you think putting me in the ring with Big freakin Ed is gonna be “great”. Barry: I may have indulged a little on the way over here but that's not the point. Jack: Oh yeah, well what is the point?! Barry: The point is, we gotta get you ready. This is Turmoil we're talking about kid. This is the big leagues. And Big Ed, they don't get much bigger. Jack: Wait, how exactly big is Big Ed anyway? Like 6'6? 6'7? Barry: A little bigger... But we don't need to worry about that right now. What we... Jack: Wait, what do you mean a little bigger? Like 6'10? Barry Sighingly: He's just a monster kid. Pure and simple, he's walking death... Jack: Way to lift my spirits and inspire confidence coach. So what do I do? Barry: Well kid that's what I've been thinking about and I may have a plan. A way better plan than the one we used on ol steel spur jingo jango back there. Jack: Wait... Jingo, jango? Is that racist? Barry: Jingo, jango? Nah, that's not racist. Jack: Are you sure? I didn't care for the tone. Barry: I mean, I don't think its racist. Jack: I dunno... Sounded questionable to me man. Barry: It can't be! Wait... Is it? Jack: I dunno, let's just tip toe out of that mine field for now. So ok, hopefully non racist trainer, what's this great plan of yours? Barry: You kiss his ass. Jack: What? Barry: Kiss his ass Jack. Suck up to him, plead for your life. Jack: Now I know you're high! Barry: Think about it kid! It worked on Tank didn't it? He hasn't murdered you yet! Jack: That's because we've never even been in the same room. Thats like saying Jaws won't eat me if I send it flowers. It doesn't make sense! Barry: But what if it did make sense? Huh? Did you ever see it that way? Jack: I guess not... There's seriously no more Amyl Nitrate is there? Barry: Not a one. Jack: So we kiss his ass? Barry: Pucker up kid. Jack: You know you're the worst trainer ever don't you? Barry: You know anybody else lining up for the job? Jack: Alright, fine, how do I kiss his ass? Barry: Well, he is a biker. Prostitutes and drugs? Jack: Prostitutes and drugs. Our scene closes with our two conniving friends trying to find a way to buy Jack's very life. Will Ed let Jack off easy? Or will the mammoth brute leave Jack a greasy puddle? Stay tuned to the promo room this week to find out! And don't forget to watch Gentleman Jack make his Turmoil debut this Thursday!

Hey im working on a bombshell character named "The Mouth of the South" Crystal Jade atm. You know thats gonna be bookable when im done.

Our scene opens inside an old, broken down boxing gym. The place is covered in dust and filth, the walls plastered with posters of fighters past, a rickety looking ring in the center, and off to the corner we see Gentleman Jack and his trusted adviser Barry huddled around a small TV and VCR. As the camera zooms in we see that the men are watching footage of Bray S. Spur in his multiple Turmoil matches. Let's listen in... Barry: You see that? You see the grimace on his face? That's what I'm talking about Jacky. Every time he hits that double knee to the face you can see the pain shoot through his body! That's where you'll get him! Jack: Remind me again what you know about wrestling? Or for that matter law! Hell Barry, remind me again why I keep you around??? Barry: Because Jack, you're an artist! You can't get bogged down in the mundane day to day activities of life. No! You need to be out there creating Jack! Jack: Alright... I guess that makes sense... I do hate the mundane after all. Barry: There ya go champ! See? No need to worry about a thing kid! Good ol Barry is here for you! Now c'mon, we gotta focus here! Jack: Thanks Barry, you're right. I've just been so stressed! I mean Unleashed could change my life. Barry: Don't worry about it Jacky boy. Here, take this, you'll be fine. Barry hands Jack and small handful of pills. Jack gulps them down without question. Jack: Thanks Barry. Hey, what were those anyway? Barry: Horse tranquilizers. Jack: Horse tranquilizers? Barry: Yeah, you'll feel better in no time kid! Jack: Barry??? What the hell??? I'm training for a match here and you gave me horse tranquilizers? Barry: Trust me kid, you can handle it. Besides, now you wont be sore after training! Jack: Wait, how did you even get these? Barry: I know a guy. Jack: You know a guy? Barry: Yeah I know a guy! I know lots of guys! Jesus Jack don't worry about it! Do I know a man that sells high grade horse narcotics? Yes Jack, yes I do. Is this something you of all people should be worried about right now? No Jacky, you are not. Jack: Barry, what if I get drug tested? I mean pro sports are under scrutiny these days... Barry: Drug testing?!?! Ha! Half of the Riot roster would be suspended immediately if they ever did drug testing. I'm surprised some of them aren't smoking dope on the way to the ring! Trust me, you don't have to worry. As long as you don't have a needle in your arm in the middle of the ring, you'll be just fine. Jack: No heroin, ok Barry? I like how you innocently try to bring it up but you have a problem. Barry: What? Of course not! I'm clean Jack! Haven't touched the stuff in months! Jack: I'm just saying, it'd be nice to know my manager is somewhat clear headed and not banging lady boys in a Cambodian opium den. Is that too much to ask for? Barry: You know I only go to Cambodia on the high holidays! Relax Jack, relax. Jack: Alright Barry I'm relaxed, and I'm going to trust you this time, but don't screw me! Barry: Wouldn't dream of it! Now can we please get back to your training? Jack: Sure, whats next? Barry fast forwards the VHS. The question you should be asking is who in the hell has been making VHS recordings of OCW events? That just screams creepy. Barry: Ok see how Bray is just throwing this poor schlub around like a rag doll? That's what you gotta avoid Jack! He's strong as an ox, nimble, and might be a dirtier fighter than you. He'll gouge your eyes, low blow you, and talk about banging your sister. He'll do all that and more, right in the middle of the ring. This guy don't care Jack! Jack: Super strong, weak kneed, Mediterranean asshole, got it. So I watch the dirty tricks, try not to test strength, work the knee, and keep him at reach. Sounds easy enough. Barry: Well its not that easy. Jack: What do you mean? Barry: I mean the guy has talent for days. I hate to tell you this but he's just flat better than you. Also, he's a veteran. While we've been roaming the country, making nuns blush for the last few years, this guy has been here, fighting. He's a pro Jacky, a pro. Jack: So I'm just screwed? Barry: I didn't say that! I just said he's way, way, way, wayyyyyyy better than you. But hell, we never let that stop us. All you got to do is out smart him. And look Jack, the guy's a machine in the ring, but he ain't exactly a Rhodes Scholar. I mean he can beat anybody, anywhere, anytime. But instead of carrying thirty pounds of gold around his waist, he's dicking around on the under card with you. Jack: Ok, so step one, don't die of a tranquilizer overdose. Step two, protect my balls from the grips of a savage, Mediterranean Adonis. Step three, kick him in his big dumb head. Step four, take more tranquilizers. Step five, snap his knee. Step 6, pin him. Step seven, profit. Barry: Perfect! And you did it with five less steps than those pussy AA assholes! Jack: So now what do we do? Barry: Now we work on your conditioning. Jack: How do we do that? Barry: We're going to get in that ring and I'm going to start breaking 2x4s over your back. Jack: Eat a dick Barry! I'm not letting you do that! You crazy old man! Barry: What?! It's how we used to train! Look at me! I did it for years! Jack: Jesus Barry, have you looked in a mirror lately? You look like twenty pounds of wet horseshit in a five pound bag. You literally look you could die at moment. If I got a call tomorrow telling me you died, there would be no shock in my voice when I reply “Yeah, that sounds about right.” Barry: What do you mean? Jack: What do I mean? Barry...Barry...Barry... You disgust me! You are a repulsive human being. You live on alcohol, prostitutes, reds, and sleaze. You physically disgust the women that you pay for sex Barry. They've formed a support group. You know that don't you? They're paying me next month to come as a guest speaker to give insight on dealing with day to day life while the image of you with a shirt off is seared into our brains. That Barry, that's what I meant. Barry: So I'm not hitting you with 2x4s? Jack: If I see you near a piece of wood I will strike you with my ring hand Barry. I swear to god, right across your pudgy, grotesque face. Barry: You're real uppity for a guy that makes the life decisions you do. Jack: Gee Barry I wonder why I make those decisions? Maybe it's because my closest friend and adviser in the world is an unlicensed lawyer with a pituitary problem! Barry: You mean that Jack? Really? I'm your best friend? Jack: That's what you're taking from this conversation?! Barry: I just want you know, I love you too Jack. Barry tries to hug Jack with no success. Jack: No! Stay away! You're a walking cesspool of stds! I can hear the crabs Barry! I can hear them! Noooooo!!!!!!! Our scene ends with Barry chasing Jack around the room, trying valiantly to get that hug.

Huge thank you for putting me over at the top of the show! I geeked out!

Our scene opens inside the same very sad, very lonely motel room that Gentleman Jack has been occupying the last week. We see Jack crumpled on his bed in despair after his failed attempts to sneak into the debut episode of Unleashed. Suddenly there's a knock on the door. Jack: Go away.... Barry: Jack! Let me in! I got great news Jack! Jack: Go away Barry, I'm not in the mood for this crap. Did you see Unleashed? I'm the laughing stock of the wrestling world today. My dream is over Barry! Over! Barry: That's just it Jack! OCW called! They want to book you! Jack leaps from his bed to unlock the door and let his attorney enter. We finally get our first glimpse of Barry. He appears to be an older man, early 60's maybe, with receding white hair, a large gut, short stature, and the cheapest suit he could find at Sears. Jack: You better not be joking about this. Have you been drinking Barry? Or worse? Barry: Naw Jack it's nothing like it! They really called! I have an offer sheet for you! Jack: Really? Barry: Really! Look at this, its incredible! Barry hands over the contract to Jack who skims through it. Jack: Tryout deal? What the hell is this Barry? Barry: Its a standard OCW rookie contract Jack. You come in, take a booking. If they like you, you get another one. Then, eventually, you'll get a season long deal. It's just what they do. Jack: So they aren't insulting me? Barry: Insulting you? Jesus Jack do you know how lucky you are?! A week ago they'd never heard of you. Then you slander Kwan Watts, the nicest guy on the whole damn roster mind you, on tv at 3 in the damn morning on their own network! And your follow up to that brilliant plan Jack? You try to barge your way into Unleashed without so much as a ticket! Jack: They were sold out Barry! What'd you expect me to do? Barry: Not offer to blow Joe Pesci! I gotta say Jack, I've known you for years and I've never seen you do such a thing. Have you finally lost your mind? Jack: Ha! Barry baby, I'm better than ever! Look it all worked out didn't it? I'm booked Barry! Booked! Barry: Yeah about that, your first match is on Unleashed 2. Jack: Perfect! I'm jacked Barry, jacked! Barry: That's good Jack, that's real good. Oh and they've already named your opponent. Jack: Perfect! Who is it? Some local kid in wrestling school? Barry: No, not exactly... Jack: Ah, you're right, why waste me on that? I bet they have me facing a legend! Bringing in an old guy to give me a rub on the way to top! Who is it? Vic Vimes? RD Money? Guy Fausto? Barry: No Jack, no washed up legends. No local kids. Jack: Ah so they've got a real test in mind for me huh? Active roster kinda guy? Ok, I can do that. Wait, its not Tank is it? Barry: No it's not Tank, thank christ. Jack: Whew! By the way did he get my flowers? Barry: Yeah.... turns out he's allergic. He was sneezing and coughing for three days leading up to his match at Unleashed. Luckily he got over it in time, but he is not happy with you. Jack: Shit! Barry: Yeah... Jack: Send him some chocolates Barry. Everyone loves chocolate! Barry: Don't you think thats a little... you know... foo foo? Sending another guy flowers was one thing, but now chocolates? Jack: It's 2016 Barry! I can send another man chocolates and it not be weird if I want to. Why do you think Martin Luther King marched Barry? Barry: Uh.. not for that...Anyway you're losing focus here Jack... Jack: You're right, you're right. Things are just getting a little stressful for me here Barry. Its not a kid, its not a legend, thank god its not Tank, so who is it? Barry: Bray S. Spur Jack immediately slaps Barry across his pudgy, fat face. Jack: Fuck you Barry! No! No way in hell am I having a debut match against Bray FREAKING SPUR! He's a machine Barry! A freaking Mediterranean god! Have you seen what he's done to this roster? He doesn't just beat people Barry, he can put you on the shelf! That finisher alone! Jesus Barry, what am I going to do?!?! Bray Spur?!?! Ahhhhh!!!!! Jack grabs the nearest object he can find, in this case an ice bucket, and hurls it across the room in frustration. Jack: My face Barry! My beautiful face! If he hits that codebreaker my face is shot Barry! Shot! And that chokeslam of his? Barry I'm monumentally screwed here! I need a plan Barry! A good plan too, not the kind of shit I usually come up with. Barry: Yeah I dont think offering to blow him will work. Jack: I wasn't really going to blow the security guard Barry! I was going to take him to a back alley and knock him out! Barry: Uh huh. Jack: You know you work for me, right? Barry: Ha, some work! When's the last time you payed me? Jack: I'll start paying when you start actually passing state bar exams. Barry: Touche. Jack: Alright Barry, close the door. We need to make a new plan. Barry: Actually Jack, I got an idea.... As Barry says this he closes the door ending our scene. Will Jack and Barry hatch a plan to save the Gentleman's beautiful face? Will Tank like his chocolates? Stay tuned to the promo room this week to find out! And be sure to catch Gentleman Jack's OCW debut this Sunday on Unleashed!

Sorry to break up meme war 2016 but i just wanted to extend a huge thank you to whoever booked me on unleashed 2. Thank you guys so much for the opportunity here and I can't wait to work with you all!

Our scene opens once again inside Jack's very sad, very lonely hotel room. It's early afternoon and the bedside phone rings once again. Also, how sad is it that Jack is using the motel land line instead of a cell phone? Jesus this guy has problems. Jack: Hello? Barry! You better have good news for me Barry! Turmoil 122 was announced today! Where am i in the card Barry? You smoothed this over didn't you? Long pause as Jack's giddiness quickly turns sour. Jack: No? What do you mean no? Why do I pay you Barry?! I thought you had this? You took me seriously at 4am??? You thought I had a plan??? I was drunk Barry! It was 4am! What the hell kind of plan could I hatch at 4 in the morning to get on the hottest new wrestling show in America??? Tell me Barry! What kind of fucking master plan would I come up with???? As Barry responds Jack tries to massage the tension in his temple away. Jack: Ok, ok not the end of the world. Sorry Barry. Anyway who is on the card? Whats the main event? Jack picks up the phone and begins to slowly pace around his nightstand in a small circle as Barry responds. Seriously, you young kids don't remember this but land lines were the drizzling shits back in the day. Jack: Malu vs Montgomery? The Savage Islander vs The American Outlaw? Jesus, I'd pay to see it. Actually talk to our friend in Vegas and see if you can put something on Montgomery for me. I gotta make back that money from your worthless Kwan attack ad. Yes Barry, YOUR idea. Anyway what else is on the card? Barry details the co-main event as Jack continues to pace. Jack: Dennis Black and Jacob Trance. The tv champ? Ok can't knock the company for booking the tv champ and a consummate pro like Trance. Did you see Black's entrance at Wrestlelution? The guy gives me the creeps Barry. Ok two solid main events, and let's be honest Barry, I ain't main eventing any time soon! No problems there. What else is on the card? Jack picks up a coffee mug from the nightstand and takes a swig as Barry reveals the next match. A quick spit take follows. Jack: Colt Matthews and Loki McGregor?! Are you high Barry or is that really the match? Because if you're high you're an asshole for sending me on the road with nothing. NOTHING BARRY, NOTHING. Jesus Barry, this one hurts. Cmon Jack, dont let them see you cry. Ok Barry, whats next? Barry reveals the next match to Jack as Tank vs. Corey Ford Jack:Ha! Well its the kid's funeral, not mine. Send some flowers to Ford's family for me. They'll need some sunshine after Tank ruins their child. You know what? Send some flowers to Tank as well. I definitely don't want to be on his bad side when i debut. What's next? Barry lays out the women's tag match. Jack: Ok 4 women in one ring, I get that. Never let it be said that Jack was sexist. The ladies earned their spot. But cmon man that can't be the end of the card. There should be an entire segment free! Barry then explains the MYSTERY TAG TEAM match. Jack: That's it Barry! I bet I'm part of the secret tag team! It all makes sense! Barry responds. Jack: What do you mean the front office has never heard of me and that Kwan Watts has a better chance of being World Heavy Champion than I do of being in this match? That's bullshit Barry and frankly you've hurt my feelings. Good day sir! Jack slams down the phone in anger. As a side note kids, this was the only good thing about landlines. The pure joy you would get from hanging up on an asshole with a slam. Ask your parents about it sometime. Anyway after hanging up with Barry, Jack falls into a pile on his bed. Jack: Ugh, I guess I really do need a plan.... Fade out

Our scene opens inside Gentleman Jack's hotel room. Its a sparsely decorated room at the Days Inn close to the arena for Turmoil. Though Jack isn't booked he's following the show around the country, waiting for opportunity. Jack is sitting on his bed at 4am, just one hour after his controversial 20 second ad appeared on Rush tv. The bedside phone rings and Jack picks up. Jack: Hello? Hey Barry! Did you see the spot?! It was great man, just great! Jack pauses as Barry speaks on the other end. The look on his face quickly changing from joy to confusion. Jack: Legal action? What the hell are you talking about? My ad aired an hour ago! Who's watching Rush tv at 3am anyway? This was supposed to be a test balloon Barry! Another pause, this time time Jack's face turns from confusion to annoyance. Jack:The OCW legal team? They watch Rush twenty four hours a day? Another pause, more confusion on Jack's face. Jack: Slander??? Who did I slander? Gross incompetence, what the hell does that even mean Barry? Another pause, this time Jack is livid. Jack: What do you mean he's not on Turmoil? How in the hell is Kwan not on Turmoil? I just watched his match Sunday! You know I wouldn't watch Riot if somebody payed me. At this pause, Jack's face turns from anger as he realizes what he did. Jack: PPV huh? Joint show? Both rosters? So I just spent two grand producing an attack ad on a guy I can't even face? And now I look like a fool in front everyone? This isn't good Barry. This isn't good at all. What do we do? Another pause, Jack cuts off Barry quickly. Jack: Barry, Barry, you're the attorney. How'd you let this happen? Where do we go from here? Quick pause, Jack dismisses the next idea quickly. Jack: No Barry I can't just refilm it use a different person. The turmoil roster is stacked! They have guys like B-17, Dennis Black, Joe Zhivago, Kassiday Hayes, and Big Ed. Not a comedy act like Kwan. Quick pause as Barry's voice almost becomes audible before Jack shoots it down. Jack: Barry, this is private phone call. I can slander anyone i want too. nobody will hear this. Ok scrap the ad going forward Barry, I think I have a plan. I'll get on Turmoil one way or another. Just you wait, they'll see... Jack hangs up the phone as a smile crosses his face. Scene fades out.

Its 3 am on Rush TV. The day's fine lineup of original programs ended hours ago. We're now locked into that long block of infomercials between 2 and 6 am. A shamwow commercial has just aired, and now our screen is filled with a new ad. The American flag begins to wave against a blue sky as an instrumental version of America the Beautiful plays. A voice over begins. VO Artist: America. Land of the free. Home of the brave. The greatest generation fought to defend our right for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And what have we done with that freedom? We've created OCW and put shows like Turmoil on the airwaves. The music changes to a much more ominous, sinister, intsrumental. The flag is gone, replaced with a banner of OCW against a red sky with very cheap, poorly created devils dancing around. I cant stress enough how cheap and shitty this would look. VO Artist: Turmoil, a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah that took a once proud sport of wrestling, and turned it into a circus. Instead of Hackenschmidt and Gotch, we have Kwan Watts. A still image of Kwan Watts during his entrance and Wrestlelution is shown. VO Artist: Is this the OCW, and America, that YOU want to leave to YOUR children? I certainly don't want to. I think we're better than that. Isn't it time we return a little dignity to America? Isn't it time we put a gentleman in OCW? The image of Kwan vanishes and the tone of the music becomes more hopeful as a still of a smiling Gentleman Jack replaces it. VO Artist: If you agree with me and millions of other Americans, make your voice heard. Call the offices of OCW and demand they add Gentleman Jack to the Turmoil roster. Let's make OCW great. Not again, but for the very first time. After all, your children's futures are at stake. FADE OUT

WRESTLER NAME: Gentleman Jack HOMETOWN: Charlotte, NC HEIGHT: 6'2 WEIGHT: 210 lbs THEME SONG: "Why Can't We Be Friends" - War SIGNATURE MOVES(S): Straight jacket DDT (The Payoff) FINISHERS(S): Adjustment Piledriver (The Hurrah) Biography:A new age southern gentleman or snake oil salesman, you can be the judge. Jack's early life is largely mundane and forgettable. Born to a stable, middle class family in North Carolina in the early 80's, Jack had every opportunity and advantage to have a normal life. Somewhere, somehow, that never happened. Instead of college and a 9-5, Jack chose the less traveled path. He learned early that a two bit hustler with a decent physique, buckets of charm, and some street knowledge could make it just fine in this life, and more importantly, with a lot less work. Time however is catching up. Jack is in his early 30's now, no longer content to live in anonymity. No, the time is right for the Gentleman to make a name for himself. It's time for the Gentleman to embark on perhaps the greatest con in our culture, pro wrestling.