The Guy Fausto

Well there's that horrible error, and the fact that: 1) Smythe hates Guy. 2) Smythe at least has a currently workable alliance with Mayhem, no matter how strained. 3) Guy & Trevor cooperated midmatch last week, despite ultimately outcome. 4) Trevor hates Mayhem. 5) Mayhem hates everyone. 6) This list is getting long. 7) Bloom is stupid. 8) I'm just wasting your time now. 9) Mike's error pointed out, even if Trevor's value is 0. 10) If we're going for maximum stupidity of match, why not Guy & Mayhem on the same team? I can totally have Guy run away from the tag, not because he doesn't want in the match, but because he fears Mayhem is going to tear his arm off in the process. 11) I'm done now.

...Your Main Event makes no sense.

The explanation is clear: Baxter was expecting a chinlock, but his current identity is Black Dragon. So, in order to avoid the shame, he comes out as Chris Baxter for his match, hoping no one would be the wiser and avoids getting Black Dragon chinlocked. It makes perfect sense. I DON'T MAKE MISTAKES.

Myself and Smythe were going to knock it out later tonight cause he's got rapper don't wanna fuck with stuff he's gotta do. Or something. Life's a bitch sometimes, and last minute submissions are nothing new in OCW. I always end up burning the mid night oil. :(

I AM NOT A PIECE OF MEAT! STOP SEXUALIZING ME!

I lost track of the HiaC playing it. Thought I was someone else a few times. If I would have known Parker and Leon were going to do that I would have changed my colors a bit. Versus stuck out like a sore thumb in a field of dark-haired people with black and white color schemes. Looking over rest of show now.

Also, it isn't Mayhem vs. Trevor anymore. Both called in sick. It's The Snake vs. Badass Bill now for replacements. Jay's also going a more PG route, so it's Darnation now too. Nothing about your video is right anymore. Not even it's language. We've all decided to stop speaking English and start talking Esperonto.

Justice through setting every criminal on fire?

This isn't saying much.

I believe we are waiting for peak awesome of a match of Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies vs. Robots. So far we have Baxter vs. The Camera Ninja vs. Zombie Nate, so we're waiting for somone to get a robot gimmick and we're set.

As Commisioner, I am acting on Trevor's wishes. By putting myself in every single match on the card. Faustolution V, baby!

If Animals are sabotaging Lution, it's clearly all Poe's fault for not hurrying up and killing his dog and everyone else's house pets already. Damn you Poe!

My jet. They can repo Jay's exploded limo before my jet.

But I saved so much money firing Leon and making him work anyway.

Dog's going to get it now, isn't he?

...

*looks at list* *realizes Mike has completed previous four items in list before number five* *reads really slowly and wastes 15 minutes of his time* Hey everyone, let's all congratulate Mike for completing his five year plan!

Five Year Plan: 1) Establish Career 2) Get married 3) Buy House 4) Set self on Course for Life 5) Waste Fifteen Minutes of Everyone's time You're twenty percent done. :)

The belt will also now be contested under 24/7 hardcore rules. Commisioner's orders.

I'm totally standing up to them. By being a coward and running away from bigger numbers. It's my way and I have no shame.

I fire you. Of course, all this means is you show up anyway and my hiliairiously incompetent security chases you around half the show as you try to accuse me of lying about something, and I blaisely dismiss you, being annoyed by your presence. If that's not something to get you motivated, I don't know what will.

This is another damning condemnation of the name.

I don't know what you're talking about as the tag match works fine for me. Bombshells is the worst name for a division or title ever.

And this is why I need to save OCW from Leon.

But you're not challenging for the tag titles. :)