The Guy Fausto

So Willow is advertised as OCW's first second generation 'superstar'. This is false. There is a pre-existing fraud in place who is probably best scrubbed from history but none the less he exists. However, there is still a claim to fame for her. I made a threat during his existence that if another 'second-generation' person showed up, I would reveal that I, Guy Fausto, am in fact Michael Heaton's father, making all the times I horribly abused him even worse since it adds an element of child abuse to the picture. Willow's introduction triggered this, so I now declare that this is now OCW canon. Now I'm not completely caught up, but if Casey is/was 'married' to Michael Heaton, this in turn makes me Willow's step-grand dad. There you go. Willow is OCW's first third generation 'superstar'. She never calls her grandpa, her mother should have raised her better, GET OFFA MY LAWN.

Soo, watched some things. 2014 style pretty and lets you do asshole combos. I always approve of asshole combos. The OCW ring crew seems to love changing the ring apron match to match.... with only 2 matches. Beatallica as a theme is something that should have happened long ago. Mugen's gimmick has evolved from Asian Randy Orton to... Asian Raver? Smythe looks ridiculous. Then again, if he looked right, he wouldn't be Smythe. Jacob Trance is a wizard with how he teleports during suicide dives. My headcanon is now that this is his gimmick. Figures it's what he needs to be OCW Champion, wizards are always super OP in everything. Matches seem faster paced despite DRR rule. I guess by not having everyone at 9/90/lots durability? Ten years of this and Jay still hasn't found anything better to do with his time.

Smythe is a hall of famer? When? Can I leave if he's in? I keed. I keed. EDIT: how do I return to kick Smythe in the balls then run off into obscurity again without reactivating Live? not keeding

Girls you're all pretty. I hate when people use music from old SvR games as theme music. It's the definition of buttrock. Stop it. Agreeing Trance needs to stop wearing the stilts. I've always assumed he was someone right on that middleweight line who could pass for LHVY. Leon stop returning. I hate you. Debate whether this is a real comment or kayfabe. Congrats some random guy for winning the title. Whoever you are. Dims has a title shot whenever now, but I couldn't say who he could use it on. I do not celebrate the return of hate to this company. OCW needs to stop speaking of racists with such acclaim. But I guess if WWE has a wifebeater, we get to have a Klan member.

You aren't the Godking of OCW. I make the rules now! The future is Roofus. Despite that rough debut, that man has what it takes to be OCW Champion.

The Guy The? ...I don't understand. :(

I like Gibb's magic levitating hardcore title. God fucking dammit THQ, you're terrible.

Gonna start coming out to Alanis Morisette to fix this. IT'S LIKE RAAAAAAAAIN ON YOUR WEDDDING DAAAAYYY IT'S A FREE RIIIIIIIDDEEE WHEN YOU ALREEAAADY PAAAAAAIIID

Are you suggesting something else caused it besides my clumsiness? I've studied the videos. I was minding my own business wandering around, caught my foot in a link, and whoops. Oh well. I'm kinda annoyed how lazy THQ is in regards to entrances. Would it have been so much effort to put the fire on the side of the stage? Actually kinda impressed how consistent Scofield's moveset is on the "I took a wrong turn on my way to the Octagon" sense. I'm guessing the people entering the ring to silence are people not handing out music? We're not doing the give people embarrassing themes thing anymore? Is OCW Being a Star? Also, if you're leaving your List name as 'Player' as in 'Playa', it only makes me think back to the old Acclaim games where the crowd chants "PLAYER ONE YOU RULE! PLAY-ER ONE! PLAY-ER ONE!" But I am an old man who according to who you ask, is 59 years old. I like Mugen's CAW in looks like something you'd see on the WWE sense, but the Randy Orton entrance is overdone at this point. If everyone is releasing doves, it's no longer special because all the doves have been released. Tibbytopia makes me want Fruitopia, but I haven't seen any in 10 years. I miss Fruitopia. :( I want a place where I never existed, too. I mark for a good powerbomb finisher. Does make the 'Punch in Face' finisher lose some luster though. I salute Matsuda's flying of the Crazy Asshole flag. He's doing all Crazy Assholes proud. *tears up* If Betterness keeps your Sunglasses on through getting punched in the face, I demand Tibby always compete wearing sunglasses.

The hell you on about? We had Edge of Edin. That alone makes the Golden Age the best thing to ever happen, ever. We Need OCWCrap.

Terry Romero is a walking fashion disaster, being a white guy with cornrows and braids and MC Hammer's Can't Touch This pants from the 80s. This would be a problem, except this is professional wrestling and high fashion is a Ribera Steakhouse Jacket and Zubaz. Keep up the good work, then.

OCW Strategy Guide 1st Edition How to Beat Smythe DaWonder: 1. Remind him his OCW Title reign doesn't count. 2. Kick Him in the Balls. 3. Victory. You're welcome.

Once again, The Steve chokes. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

You're welcome.

Surprised there's any positivity aimed at the LMS. Not a knock on Royce but LMS is utterly terrible this year. Me & Royce both thought it was pretty goddamn annoying. Anytime you get a knockdown, you have to put the same amount of effort into getting up whether you got knocked down by my "Weakest Clothesline Ever" or...well, a powerbomb off a cell. When I pushed for LMS I expected a second coming of what I did with Parker at WL4- which was a really good match. THQ made it pretty much impossible to have a good LMS this year. Just going to warn against it for anyone else who is going to consider this gimmick for their feud.

I am disappointed that your middle name is not automobile related. In fact, this is now why we're feuding. When I win, not only do you have to retire, you legally change your name to Royce Volvo Bentley.

*enters ring with theme song with the word 'Fuck' used 20 times. Is unfined*.

Ryder loses after he does one move due to disqualification. This is why you don't challenge referees to matches.

One of them is obviously Joseph Alexander. He's already above appearing on Ambition.

I don't know why KD just doesn't embrace it. K. D. Angelo rolls off the tongue so much better than K. Dangelo. Plus you can always use it to embrace that upper class British Snob gimmick I know you have planned. Sir Kenneth Dansworth Angelo, Esq. We have the monocle and tophat in the game. Make it happen.

Can I get some sort of facepalm macro for Hazard, Ryder?

You can't take Hardcore Holly. Holly was never in WCW. ...This is obscure as fuck.

I chose DDP in the other thread.

There is something coming Monday. I don't want to change the rules mid-week because I think it'd be lame if the rules were different if you recorded your match on Saturday instead of Thursday. Monday is going to be 'revision' day if we need them - the Ambition card goes out that day and Riot matches should be wrapping up taping so it shouldn't interfere with either.