Useless Dane Xavier

The ME is labeled wrong. /checking the show for errors

Just trying to help out KD, I'll give the right theme from now on.

Godsmack... It worked for you before but you've evolved.

Dude, you wanted to go back to that Godsmack song...

What else can I say? KD straight up whooped me! He was on it with reversals, every time I'd reverse he'd get me right back. He's on a roll and I think he should keep that music I gave him!

The scene opens centered on Dane Xavier sitting in a throne. He is wearing a robe and looking at a Sherlock Holmes tobacco pipe that he holds in his hand. Dane $ Xavier: There's nothing in this thing... Meh, I don't smoke anyways. He puts the pipe in his robe pocket. Dane $ Xavier: I'd like to take this time to publicly apologize for what happened at my bank vault the other day, I didn't expect Mr. Rockstar to cause such a scene. Dane $ Xavier: But in my haste, I told him to go to Ambition and get himself a match. When he arrived to the show, he was kept out of the building by Management. Ha, serves him right for the way he raised his nose to me! Dane $ Xavier: But this week, I promise that he will compete on Riot, one way or another. I personally want to see someone knock the snot out of him, but if he pays up it's win-win! Double winning, perhaps triple winning if I can manage to defeat K.Dangelo! Dane $ Xavier: As for Mayhem... Nate... I'll cross those bridges when I get to them. WrestLution is just around the corner, but I still have a long road ahead. Dane sighs and his eyes shift away from the camera. Dane $ Xavier: Where's Jasmine when I need her?! The scene fades as Dane reminisces on his beautiful assistant.

Bumpity. LET'S DO THESE!

This week's edition of The Desk: Being hosted by the long lost Perry Saturn!

See?? You just proved that there are holes in your theory! FRAUD!

Funaki? Dane's level? A cheap 'no offense?' Not involving the HVY title? Disappointment? Just put a clown nose on this guy and call him Adrian Bold. I just got fucking trolled. I hate you Parker, your words sting. But really, FU FUCKIN NAKI? EAT A DICK!

bump :-)

The scene opens in front of large open vault where one man sits at a table writing down figures, let's call this man Nigel. Another man is inside moving money from one gigantic pile to another pile, let's call this man Sam. It seems as though they are counting the money as Sam wipes the sweat from his brow before turning to Nigel. Sam: I just can't figure out how Dane's money could have gone missing. There's no way it could have been stolen like it was when he was going to buy Casey Paine's services for the night. Nigel: Yes, it's very irritating. We've been counting this money for almost a month now and we've only counted it one and barely a half times! I hope we see some this money as a bonus in our pay checks. Sam begins moving money again while Nigel monitors and writes down the figures. Sam: Why do I have to do all the work? You're just sitting there! Nigel: I'm crunching numbers, this is very tedious work! Sam: But you ALWAYS crunch the numbers! Nigel: That's because I have a college degree and you're just stupid. Sam glares at Nigel and goes at him, but then Dane enters the scene and he stops in his tracks. Dane looks at Sam, then at Nigel, then back at Sam. Dane $ Xavier: What the hell is going on here? Why aren't you two working? Sam: I was just-- Dane $ Xavier: You're milking the clock aren't you? I thought you two were a little more reliable than that! Sam: Really, we were just-- Nigel: I apologize Dane, it's my fault. I antagonized the ol' pea brain. We've just been working for hours on end and nothing is being resolved! It's driving us stir crazy! Dane $ Xavier: I don't pay you guys to fight, that's MY job! Dane looks over the two average sized men who cower pathetically from Dane's anger. Dane takes in a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. Dane $ Xavier: You know what, I'm feeling a little generous today, so I'm going to go inside to take a look around for myself. Dane begins walking toward the vault. Dane $ Xavier: If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself... or hire better workers! Dane goes inside the vault and looks around. Dane $ Xavier: Man, I have a lot more money than I did when I first came in here. Dane continues to look over his... earnings. He seems to be growing annoyed. Dane $ Xavier: I just don't get how money keeps disappearing! This place is secured around the clock, no one without permission can get in... wait a minute. Dane spots a pile of money in the corner of the vault, but this is no ordinary pile. Dane $ Xavier: Is there any reason why that pile is shaped like a small house? Sam: We thought you did that, and who are we to question it? We left it alone. Dane storms over to the small house built out of money and begins pushing it down. The entire thing collapses and something underneath beings to emerge from it. It's Justin Rockstar with a ziplock bag full of some sort of white powdery stuff. Justin Rockstar: Oh... hey there... boss... Dane folds his arms and stares a hole into Rockstar. He turns around and looks at Sam and Nigel who stand dumbfounded. Dane $ Xavier: Mind telling me how he got in here? Nigel: He said he was the custodian, and that his office was through the vault... oh... Sam elbows Nigel in the ribs. Sam: I told you there was something fishy about that! Dane face palms. Dane $ Xavier: You guys are worse at connecting dots than Adam Mikely. This should have been child's play for you Mr. college degree, and I'd expect a dumbass like you Sam, to at least be able to figure out that there's no such thing as a custodian's office through a vault! Nigel: Well... Sam: Uh... Dane $ Xavier: Save it, I'll deal with the two of you later. Dane turns to Rockstar who has his face buried in the bag of white powdery stuff. Dane clears his throat and it gets the attention of Rockstar, who pulls his face out of the bag and smiles with power all over his face. Dane $ Xavier: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't fire you right now. Shouldn't you be working on my new video? Rockstar reaches into the pile of money and pulls out a Mac Book Pro. Justin Rockstar: I'm on top of it! Dane begins taping his foot impatiently. Justin Rockstar: And... I just came in here for inspiration, I figured the smell of money was just the thing to get the creative juices flowing! Dane $ Xavier: I don't see how you can smell anything with all that stuff crammed up your nose. Dane looks at the bag in Rockstar's hand. Dane $ Xavier: That's an awful lot of product you've got there, must have cost you a fortune. How were you able to pay for it? You don't wrestle enough to be able to afford it, and I know I sure as hell don't pay you enough. Sam and Nigel can be heard snickering in the background. Justin Rockstar sighs. Justin Rockstar: I'll be honest... I used some of your money... But I just can't help it man! Justin hugs his bag of powder like a teddy bear. Justin Rockstar: I'm just so in love with Angie! Dane $ Xavier: Exactly what I thought. Dane begins pacing, seemingly deep in thought. Dane $ Xavier: I don't want to fire you because you're an excellent Digital Artist, and I know that all those drugs in your system make you do things that a sober person wouldn't do, so I'm going to let you off the hook on one condition. You go to Riot this week... no scratch that, I need my money back sooner than that. You go to Ambition this week, get yourself in a match and get a paycheck. Once you've received the money, you bring it directly to me! Justin stops hugging his... teddy bear. Justin Rockstar: And what if I don't? Dane $ Xavier: If you don't? I don't care how good of a Digital Artist you are, I'll fire you and make sure you never wrestle a match again, or never get booked in another gig! You know I have the power Justin, just look at what I did to Nathan Gaines. I paid off a doctor to put him on the injured list indefinitely and he hasn't been seen since. Justin Rockstar: Alright alright fine, I'll do it. Justin stumbles out of the pile of money and looks at Dane as he passes him. Justin Rockstar: I'll see you Sunday after I've won my match... something you can't seem to do anymore. Justin continues walking as Dane's face begins turning red in anger. The Rockstar looks at Sam and Nigel with a smile. Justin Rockstar: Everything here is ship-shape gentlemen! Good day! Justin tips his invisible hat to Nigel and Sam and exits the scene. Nigel: Wow, he's got balls... how does he do it? Dane $ Xavier: *sigh* Angie is a mean mean girl... or so I've heard... The scene fades on the three men who were just served by one strung out druggie.

Ohhhhh I'm in trouble...

I'm in as Goldberg

The show kicks off with Leon responding to Pato's recent actions, and it doesn't take long for the Samoan man eater to come out and start whooping on Leon. Pato and all of Lotus are fucking awesome. They're doing a great job of getting noticed as they've done a lot on Ambition and are carrying it over well to Riot. The future of OCW looks bright with these guys around and I like it when I see Leon and Pato mixing it up, they have original ideas that involve beat downs, which may be over done but it works in their situation. Jacob Trance is aware that his career could be over on this night and does a good job of showing it in his RP. Short, sweet, and to the point. D-Jack vs. Dorien Arnaud: Arnaud got his ass whooped, straight up. D-Jack must have hit like 5 sigs/fins, but everyone has their off weeks Dorien. You've been hot up until lately, keep your head up, you'll be alright. The RP with Ryder/Storm/Creed was creative and hilarious. I like how they used this platform to improvise for replacing their original matches. They really thought outside the box on this one and I mark for originality. Nice build for a TV title match. Guy Fausto returns to Riot and isn't happy with our simi-new GM. But I know Cash Creed knows what's good for business, his name says it all. I like Fausto coming back to Riot after goofing around on Ambition for months, this is a good way to get more people watching Ambition, especially me. TV TITLE: Cody Storm© vs. Chris Ryder: Cody Storm won the title last week and defends the belt that's been passed around like a fat blunt. This match was WAYYYYYYY too long! I could say that maybe FPR needs to be tweaked to repair the problem of long matches, but you never know how long a match will be, it could be 6 minutes or 36 minutes. These two seem to be evenly matched, but Storm is transitional and Ryder regains the TV Championship. This wasn't a bad match, it wasn't even sloppy for the length it was and for that I applaud the two of you. Good match. Something tells me that Smythe isn't too happy with Parker after he screwed him last week, maybe it's the bench press bar that Smythe is using to crush Parker's chest. Smythe's had a very different attitude ever since he started this thing with Sensation and I'm liking it. He's showing his badass side and steals Parker's 'suck it!' line. This does a great job of setting up the Main Event between these two along with what went down last week. These guys know how to build a Main Event! Chris Ryder is happy to have his TV title back, and I like how he uses the long match to blame the referee for having a slow count. He's doing a fine job of building his feud with... referees... It's funny and original at the same time, he's like OCW's Eric Young. Guy Fausto vs. Iceberg Le'Tuce: This is a very even match and Le'Tuce seems to have improved since I faced him, or maybe Fausto's just that bad. Either way, this match was great and I love the ending. Pato comes out, a member of Lotus invading yet another match. He knocks Le'Tuce out with a single punch and I had to laugh at Guy celebrating, only to have Pato turn his attention to him a split second later. Pato squashes Guybrush with a modified Samoan Drop (which actually doesn't look bad for a CAF) Before tossing the seasoned vet out of the ring. Pato is dominant and I can't wait to see if he can end Leon's streak at Lution. Tiberius Dupree is probably one of the most creative people in OCW right now, and the best babyface going today. His RP's are hilarious and full of charisma. He's great at talking shit about his foes and I hope he gets a Lution spot. This was a very good spot for him as he builds Ambition and his involvement. Keep up the great work, and don't stink up the joint while taking that Haz. Jacob Trance vs. K.Dangelo: Another great match, and the stipulations had me on the edge of my seat. It was obvious that both guys knew what the stakes were and were fighting their hearts out. Jacob wins and protects his job, while KD doesn't get another TV title shot and will probably take it out on Jookie. Interesting paths that this match creates. Smythe vs. Parker: Match of the Night by far. These guys are evenly matched and it seems Smythe has stepped his game up. But Parker's on a roll, he's on freaking fire! I thought Smythe might have him but Parker drops that devastating elbow to win it. That's why this is the Main Event, they built it from last week's shenanigans and the match was amazing. And to top it all off, Sensation comes down and is all business now. No limo, no billion dollar smile, just business. He seems to be hinting at a showdown with Smythe, or maybe he'll just have Pato come whoop his ass again. Either way, the boss has something in store for Smythe and I for one can't wait to see what it is. You never know what you're going to get when The Boss is involved. Final Thoughts: There seems to be a trend of a lack of RPs on pages 4 and 5, not just this week, every week. I wanted to see something from KD or Jookie, definitely wanted to see something from Trevor after his magnificent RP last week, but he just turned face and is letting it sit in for everyone and I like that. Other guys that were no where to be found: D-Jack, D.Jones, I wanted to see something from Le'Tuce as I'm intrigued by his last RP. All in all, this was a great show. The smoke is beginning to clear and we're starting to get a good look at what's to come at WrestLution. I can't wait for next week, keep up the good work everyone.

Yeah, this show seems to get us over that hill and seeing the landscape for Lution. I'll be reviewing.

If anyone needs their match recorded let me know, I'm pretty well available this week.

What's a Haz? /shameless attempt to bump thread

just be... MISSSSSSSTERRRRRRRR... STOOOORRRMM!!!....... STOOOORRRRMMMMM!

People busted out the writing this week! Good stuff I see! Review coming!

You're not very subtle with your hint there Straight Edge.

Nate.

I have to deal with the champ's BFF? I thought his BFF was Satan? This is false advertising.

bump... but you people should talk about R2G too.

i can convert to mp3 next time it's needed.