The following took place during the Christmas Break in OCW.
The camera comes into focus, showing a large movie set, people are rushing around, trying to get things done, the camera slowly moves right, we can hear talking in the background, but there's no visual sign as to where it's coming from.
???: "So I said "SHUT THE HELL UP, AND BRING ME MY WATER!", and then I slapped him, RIGHT in the face"
???: "Oh wow, that's just golden babe!"
???: "I know, right?"
The camera continues moving right, that's when Chris Ryder and OCW's Rookie of the Year Kip Conrad come into shot. Both are laughing, sitting down in their movie star chairs, holding bottles of water in their hands. Both seem to be wearing shades, and three piece suits.
Ryder: "I'm tempted to throw this bottle of water at that god damn Director, he doesn't know how to handle his talent, AT all"
Conrad: "I know what you mean, the man doesn't seem to understand that the STARS needs, come FIRST. And by needs I mean ALL NEEDS! BIG or small. When your star says jump he says HOW HIGH!"
Ryder: "Much like the help in OCW ... Speaking of which, our title match is coming up"
Conrad: "I think you mean, our Title WIN, is coming up"
Both men, snobbingly Laugh and smile as the toast the water bottles to each other and enjoy the high life..
Ryder: "Yes, yes, I do. Bloodline, ugh, they make me sick to my million dollar stomach"
Conrad: "Indeed, and that's bad for money, it's bad for Hollywood and in turn is bad for our economy. So if you think about it Bloodline is at fault for these hard times in which I don't feel at all"
Both men laugh again, almost in the exact same way.
Ryder: "Ah .... Too funny Kip. But yes, those titles are as good as ours, and at Turmoil, I'll be celebrating my title win. With a grand entrance, you tune in my friend, it'll be quite a site to see"
Conrad: "So will this film."
Ryder: "Yeah, who knew they'd come up with another Men in Black?"
Conrad: "Hey, Will Smith may have made the debut do well, but we're gonna' make this legendary"
Chris starts to imitate Will Smith, badly.
Ryder: "Oh hey, I'm Will Smith, I'm a rapper who doesn't swear"
Once again, both men laugh. Chris opens up the bottle of water he's holding and takes a sip, a few seconds later, however; he spits out the water.
Ryder: "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! I DID NOT ASKED FOR THIS!"
Conrad: "You got that horrible fruit water crap again? That stuff is so bad for your complexion not to mention it will go straight to your love handles with all that sugar."
Ryder: "I will not stand for this AGAIN! Where is the help?"
Chris looks around, before spotting a member of the crew, at the other end of the room.
Ryder: "Oh I'm gonna' give that guy a piece of my mind"
Conrad: "No Chris, you don't-"
Chris holds his hand up to Kip, and looks at him.
Ryder: "I got this"
Kip holds his hands up, as if to say "Okay then", Chris walks over to the Man, and taps him on the shoulder. The man turns around, and is met with a bottle full of water on his head.
Ryder: "YOU LIKE THAT? HUH?! YEAH, I BET YOU DO!"
The man just stands there, with water over his head, Chris laughs and throws the bottle on the floor, before turning around and walking away. As he does, the man grabs his arm and pulls him back, before kicking Chris in the back with a karate kick.
Man: "KEEYAAAAH!"
Ryder: "AAAAAHHH!"
Chris' face tells the story, tears begin to roll from his eyes, before the man let's go and let's him fall to the ground. Chris lies there, as Kip tries not to laugh in the background. The man then walks off-screen as Chris looks up at the camera, almost in tears, holding his back.
Ryder: "STOP THE CAMERA ..... I SAID, STOP ROLLING DAMN IT ..... Ugh, and get me to a hospital, KIP?! KIP, GET ME TO A HOSPITAL!"
Kip walks up to Ryder and helps him to his feet, as the camera fades out. Audio can still be heard in the background, as the screen goes black.
Conrad: "I guess you met the new stunt man then, he is in incredible shape, did you see how tone he is? He is so fetch! "
Ryder looks at Kip and Kip quickly replys.
Conrad: No Homo.
This piece of footage was brought to you by ...
[ame=http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=klG9G4BDLtA]YouTube - ubu productions 1982[/ame]